DragonMusings

2011-05-15T15:22:00.001-03:00

New Challenges Force Us To Grow...

The internal soul-searching that I’ve done over the past few weeks as the book gets ready to go to press has stayed out of the blogs, which is why I’ve been quiet, until I drove myself crazy with self-doubt this past week and technology kept making things more difficult.

I have drawn by hand and taken that seriously since I was 11. That’s now 34 years of experience feeling the pen or pencil in my hand and working digitally with a tablet still feels so different. When I watch what some of the younger artists are capable of doing digitally with a tablet and layers in Photoshop, I feel strangely left behind.

The book cover for Emily Finds A Dragon is done after a very hectic week and I shared all the details about the process on my Doodling Dragons blog.

This is the shorter version for those of you who just wanted a quick peek at the final cover for the book.

2011-03-27T23:37:00.000-03:00

The Dragon Finds Her Voice Again...

Every now and then, milestones happen in your life that cause you to radically change the way you think, act or look at the world.

Our visit to Japan to watch 2010 become 2011 and the Year of the Rabbit begin was one of those moments.

It was an incredible journey that took our whole family halfway around the world to visit my sister and brother-in-law in Tokyo for 9 wonderful, amazing days.

We welcomed in the new year at the temple closest to their house...

We listened to the Emperor give his New Year’s Speech at the Imperial Palace...

We crossed at Shibuya...

We visited Shinjuku and Senso-ji...

Nick posed in front of the crowds at Harajuku to show how much we stood out...

We tried new foods, made new friends and fell in love with the country and the culture. I came home, however, profoundly changed by the public and consumeristic nature of our North American culture. Until you get away from it, you often don’t realize how “in your face” it can be. We tend to share everything without a filter. We upload, download, youtube, blog, Facebook and tweet almost anything instantly.

I needed time to wrestle with that and how it affects my life, especially when I’ve been doing so much self-discovery and recovery in the past year. Marking the 1 year anniversary of my father’s passing was more difficult that I anticipated. Juggling 3 careers at once is a bit overwhelming sometimes and began to wonder if the private angstings of my soul had any place in a blog instead of in my own journal. I admired the public privacy and inner stillness that so many of the people I met in Japan seemed to carry with them, even though I knew that I couldn’t suddenly transform my outgoing, talkative, extrovert self... nor did I really want to. I am still working on finding the right balance between the private and public persona I need to maintain as an artist, but it isn’t easy.

I’m not even sure this explanation makes sense, but many of you were wondering where the dragon was and if I was OK.

The answer is a profound and joyful... YES!

Sometimes bigger things happen to put everything in perspective and give you a jolt.

Waking up on March 11th to the news of the Earthquake and Tsunami in Japan was one of the scariest moments that I’ve experienced in years! My sister sent off an e-mail to family and friends as soon as she could so that we’d know she and Yoshi were OK...but watching the news and seeing scenes of buildings where we’d been swaying in the quake was astounding. Watching the destruction of parts of a country we’d just visited 9 weeks earlier made our hearts ache right now for what that proud nation is going through! Listening to the North American media sensationalize some details and cause more panic than was needed made me angry! We aren’t seeing most of the heroic and uplifting stories... only the scary ones!

If you want to see just one astounding example of how diligent, hardworking and determined the Japanese people are, check out the photos in this car blog.

If you want a cartoon explanation of what is going on with the nuclear power plants, you can check out this subtitled clip on youtube. It doesn't deny the seriousness of the event, but it does to explain it and put it in perspective...

If any nation knows how to deal with the effects of radiation, it is the country that survived having 2 nuclear bombs dropped on them, but they need our help to rebuild in the areas that are hardest hit by all these disasters.

On my Dragon Dreams website, you will find a special Dragon of Compassion to stitch up. If you enjoy this design, I implore you make some kind of donation... even a small one... to the Red Cross in your country for Japan Relief.

Our planet has become too small for us to just ignore the cries from around the world for help. The price of gas and groceries remind us on a daily basis that we are all interconnected and that each of us can make a difference in changing our world for the better.

While I will continue to explore some of these musings in public, I’ve also decided that some of my journey in the next few years has to be a private one. I’d rather not muse so deeply in public anymore. I need my blogs to be uplifting or informative rather than depressing because we can see enough of that in any media.

Dragons sometimes take a long time to think things through, so thank you for your patience. I think now that the snow is finally melting here, it is time to crawl out of my cozy cave!

2010-10-20T08:53:00.000-03:00

Packing is SUCH a PAIN!

Packing for a vacation is stressful, but nothing like packing for a trade show or event. I woke bolt upright this morning thinking about the 2 things for the classes I will be teaching in Toronto that had NOT made it into my suitcase last night. The worry that I will forget something important and have to fly by the seat of my pants makes the last 24 hours before a show really difficult for me.

It’s funny, but once I am on the plane then I seem to relax because I know that there’s nothing I can do but go with the flow and adapt. It is the running around before I leave, trying desperately to remember everything that I find much more challenging.

Is it easier to leave the kids behind as they get older? It is different.

I can still remember the guilty feeling of freedom to be in my own head space that I felt that first year flying up to teach at what was then the Creative Sewing and Needlework Festival. Time to write in my journal on the plane, no one’s food to cut, rediscovering myself as a person instead of just a Mom... those were all heady stuff.

Now my girls are both capable of getting themselves out the door in the morning to school and even helping with or making a basic supper. While they may not need my help as much, I know that they will still miss me. The hugs were much stronger this morning than usual.

Absence can make the heart grow fonder. Maybe their rooms will be tidier when I get home.

Did I mention how much I hate packing? Here is another reason... stuff gets lost!

Yesterday, I did all the laundry to get ahead and wash up some of the clothes I needed for the show. It promised to be a beautiful, sunny day with a nice breeze so despite the bitter morning cold, I put laundry out on the line. Silly dragon!

I checked it again before I left to teach my pre-supper Weight Watcher meeting and some things were still a bit damp, so I left Nick a note to get stuff off the line when he got home.

Last night as I was packing, the only thing missing was my good dress bra. When I asked Nick about it, he said he hadn’t seen it.

I found it this morning in my garden, covered in frost.

Needless to say... it is going in the dryer before I put that sucker on!

I HATE PACKING!

2010-10-13T00:14:00.000-03:00

Back To MUSING Out Loud!

A year ago, I hugged my father goodbye for what ended up being the last time. His huge frame that had seemed so strong and invincible to me as a child, felt so fragile in my arms that night.

We’ve had almost a full year of feeling fragile as a family...

From parents being sick to daughters getting injured or bullied, from braces to wisdom teeth that need to come out, from friends going through challenges to changes in all of our lives.

It has been interesting to say the least.

Most of it was just too personal to blog about. I’ve discovered that I am a much more private extrovert that I’d ever dreamed, at least about the inner things.

Learning to let go to some things while holding on to others was an important part of my healing and my decision to narrow my blogs down to just 2.

I ask your understanding for all the silences and posts than ended up in my own journals than out here for all to read. I needed to glue a few things back together, get a few things straightened up and out and decide what needed to be done.

This has meant a wee bit of a deadline crunch as school started back and the phone began to ring for substitute teaching work. I’ve taught all but 4 days so far with the many overcrowded classrooms around town. I’ve gone from Kindergarten to Grade 12 in 48 hours, taught in both languages at 5 different schools and enjoyed every minute of it. I’ve come home to check charts for the classes I am teaching in Toronto next week, snip floss or draw the final illustrations for Emily Finds A Dragon which we are trying to get to the printers by the end of the month.

Sleep has been a slightly scarce commodity, but I am loving every minute of each of the things I am doing.

I kept thinking of all these long entries to write and post... but then would run out of energy before I had time to post them! Now I realize that it’s not about how much you write or how often, it’s just about sharing when you can.

Welcome Back to the Dragon’s Musings.

2010-06-20T17:43:00.000-03:00

Father’s Day 2010

It is an odd sort of day for me... the first one I’ve ever been through were I couldn’t pick up the phone and call him. If I am honest with myself, his death affected me far more profoundly than I’d expected, especially when Nick and I realized that our mothers and stepfathers were growing older too. It is a strange and scary thing to be hit in the face with the thought of being the “end of your line” when you still feel so young at heart inside. Maybe that is why I hid from being out here in cyberspace for a while...

This year it was more important than ever for both of us to thank the other Dads in our lives, the stepfathers who have been there through thick and thin, especially over the past few months. They are more precious to Nick and I than we can sometimes put into words or find the right card for, but we really tried this year to let those wonderful men know that they were the fathers of our hearts!

There are many men in our lives who play important roles as nurturers, role models, guides along our path in life, teachers, protectors, providers and comforters. If this is a day when we celebrate those attributes and those special people in our lives, it should also be a day where we choose to celebrate our own inner strengths as well.

Nick has been away since early Thursday morning chaperoning the grade 8 trip for his school with some other brave teachers and parents. I have kept in touch with him by phone, but I have been the only adult in the house for 4 days now and I miss him very much. I have had to do quite a few things out of my comfort zone from BBQ meat to check the tire pressure and inflate a tire. Showing my girls how to pump gas or put the hubcaps back on teaches them that they can find their inner strengths too when they have to, as well as appreciate the men who so often handle those tasks.

Whether Father’s Day is a special one of joy or a sad marking of what is missing in your lives, I hope that you take the time to honour those in your life, regardless of gender, who made a difference and inspired you to greater things.

When we remember to tell the people who matter to us most how special they are, it is always a special day.

2010-02-13T22:11:00.000-04:00

February Newsletter and Contest Up AT LAST!

The thing about deadlines is that sometimes, I am very, VERY bad about keeping them!

I think it will be worth the wait...

I hope that you will adore the little 2010 Valentine Dragon Mystery chart on our website right now with the blank colour key to stitch up before March 21st, 2010. I will share some of the best ones in April and release MY version of the colour key, but I know that all of you have incredible imaginations and lots of cool bits and pieces in your stash that are just begging to be used up.

I am working hard on my ornament for the 2010 JCS Ornament Issue and can’t decide between 2 different choices, so I’d like your input. I’m not going to ruin the surprise by showing off both sketches, but I will ask you this one question.

How important is it to you to have a dragon or fantasy creature in there?

One of my designs has a mother and baby dragon and the other one is something really cool and Christmassy with perforated paper, but not Fantasy at all.

What do you want to see more?

Chime in, share and go check out the chart on the website’s newsletter page.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!

2010-01-14T22:36:00.000-04:00

Stepping out into a New Year...

As glad as I was to see 2009 end, I’ve been tentative about posting something here to start off 2010.

You see, I’m not really sure where I am going just yet.

By 44, I certainly expected to have a clear road map of where I was headed and what was expected of me, yet so often these days, I feel as if I am just making the plan up as I move through each day.

Considering the upheaval in Haiti right now and the pain that one of Nick’s former principals is going through now that she knows her husband is dead instead of missing, maybe that isn’t such a bad way to live.

Live each day with a sense of adventure and a sense of hope.

The world is not always a safe place - the ground can shake... parents can die... economies can collapse.

Then school children donate life savings... strangers help each other... artists create wonders that stir our souls... songs move us to tears... a hug makes the day much brighter... people pull together to make things better and the path opens up again, ripe with possibilities and enticing destinations.

Don’t worry about how closely you follow the plan of where you think you should be. Spend today appreciating where you are, finding one thing you can change for the better and take the first baby steps in that direction.

A brand new year of possibilities is waiting....

2009-12-27T15:31:00.000-04:00

Reconnecting as a Family...

Part of getting ready for Christmas has always been decorating a Gingerbread House together as a family.

I’ve been buying the basic kits ever since the first disastrous year I began the tradition by trying to bake the house pieces from scratch. If anyone else, beside Martha Stewart, has ever tried to make those kinds of memories for their kids, they will understand why kits are so much safer. There are certain words that children under 5 should never hear Mommy say!

This year, we even found the foil covered cardboard at the Bulk Barn along with an infinite variety of candies. One of our favourites are the chocolates that look like rocks to make a path with.

Every year, I remind myself that I need less than half a cup of any type of candy... and each time we have leftovers. The thing about family traditions is that they don’t always come cheap, but they are fun!

This year, we even found a set at Michael’s that let us make some candy mouldings for the house such as the tiny wreath, gingerbread trim and the little welcome mat. Is that cute or what?

The coolest tip was also how to slice up those sticky mint leaf candies to make trees and bushes. A keeper for next year, but I won’t use a good pair of scissors!

Because we decorated the house so close to Christmas this year, we didn’t have a week of torture walking past the finished house and trying not to pick off candies where no one would notice. It has less than 48 hours before the giant rodents in our house began to nibble at it... but that is the second best thing about making our Gingerbread house.

The best thing is just spending time as a family... something I appreciated more this year than ever before!

2009-12-23T19:11:00.002-04:00

Saying Goodbye...

The past 3 weeks have been a blur of teaching then waiting then crying and traveling. Now at last I am home again with my family and trying to prepare for Christmas. I didn’t blog during this time because I just didn’t know how to write my goodbye to my father. Then I got to speak at his memorial service and wrote this:

My earliest memories of my father were of him singing Scarlet Ribbons or the Lord’s Prayer to me before bed. I remember the sensation of being lifted WAY up into his arms or onto his shoulders for an eagle’s eye view of the world. Before Costco or Warehouse type shelving, we never lost Dad in a store because we could always see him over the aisles!

Car trips, especially the long ones to Connecticut were spent learning to sing in 4 part harmony or playing silly word games in a pre DS, DVD and iPod era. Everyone wanted to make sure that Dad didn’t fall asleep at the wheel, especially if he’d been out for a delivery the night before!

Dad was a dreamer and an adventurer... full of big ideas and infinite possibilities. This took him from Montreal to Hawaii to Tulsa... and each time there were new, deep friendships that formed.

Delivering babies was a kind of magic for Dad. He used to describe the sense of purpose and rightness that he felt each time he held a newborn in his big, gentle hands. When we were younger, I think we resented the fact that babies didn’t follow a 9-5 schedule. His beeper could go off at the movies, during your birthday party or even in the middle of church, yet as we grew to have dreams of our own to follow, we understood that a job can be a Calling.

Dad found love more than once in his life... and while it hurt as children to have him leave and move so far away, I know that in the end, our family just got bigger. Dad was loved by so many of you... Thank you for honouring his memory by being here today.

The last time that I saw Dad, he was still dreaming of possibilities... his smile was still gentle and his eyes still twinkled.

Dad taught all of us some important things- love with all your heart, grab sleep whenever you can, chase your dreams, do what you love, grow older but keep a childlike sense of wonder, try to just live your faith daily(leave being perfect up to God) and no matter what height you are... STAND TALL!

Goodbye Dad!

2009-12-01T22:07:00.002-04:00

Taking A Day to Get Stuff Done...

I booked the day off on Subfinder today. I had Dragon Dreams stuff that needed to be done and just couldn’t wait any longer. Namely, uploading the new website and deleting all the old files from the server.

A month ago, I went back to my sketchpad and tried to figure out exactly what I needed to have on the site, what could make it more fun and more meaningful to navigate around and how I could get back to that feeling that I had when I first started the adventure of sharing my work with the world. Back then the Internet was a smaller place and there were fewer people out there to talk to. The kids I talk to in High School when I am substitute teach are SO much more wired into this cyber world than I ever thought would be possible, that I sometimes wonder about this brave new world out here. It can be both a challenge and a blessing to reach a world wide audience from my dining room table and the laptop computer.

The one thing I have learned about websites is that they can never be static things. They must grow and evolve and be interactive for people to have a reason to come back for another visit with you. This won’t be the last overhaul I do to Dragon Dreams , but for now,just for a little while, I am going to sit back and enjoy the fact that the work is done... and wait to see what everyone thinks.

Let me know!

2009-11-08T22:32:00.000-04:00

Home from Retreat...

It was a wonderful weekend that went by WAY to fast. We saw old friends, made new ones, spent time stitching and knitting, ate well but not too much, exchanged ornaments, laughed and cried as well as raised money for the fight against breast cancer. Dwaggie and Sneaky came along to keep me company in the sleeping bag and I put the dragon pillowcase from one of my favourite Austin store owners (right Ginger?) on my pillow.

Friday night, we arrived up at Camp Wildwood in sleet and slushy snow that made us feel like we were stuck in a snow globe. Mom and I found an empty cabin (Squirrel A) before Nick drove us up to the main cabin to unload the stitching gear. We set ourselves up near the back in the room and greeting familiar friends before settling down to stitch.

I’d fully intended to give away the Perforated Paper Castle ornament that I taught in Toronto, but the more people asked to see it and exclaimed over it, the more I decided it needed to stay on MY tree. Luckily, Jeannie had brought along some colours of perforated paper for me to play with. Unfortunately, after a full day of teaching, picking up Bethany from volleyball practice, Nick from school and then rushing to get to retreat in bad weather, I forgot the sheets of blank graph paper that I usually bring along with me...

So I made my own.

FIrst, I sketched out the letters for JOY and stitched them in overdyed threads on the white paper.

Then, I flipped the paper over, borrowed a pencil from Mom and began to figure out how to create a geometric snowflake shape around the word.

I am not the most math gifted person, so I had to fudge things a tiny bit near the end, but soon the snowflake shape was designed for me to cut out.

I added a holly button to the front, some braid and beads to catch the lights from the tree.

Then I made my own cording for the top...

and hung it on the tree for the ornament exchange!!

During the weekend, I also spend time knitting on Bethany’s scarf and raving about Yarn Harlot ’s pattern to people, stitching on 3 projects a little at a time, chatting with folk and not thinking much about any day to day things like cooking, laundry etc.

Erin texted me from the volleyball tournament in Saint John during the day. They finished in 5th and she has some incredible new bruises from diving across the floor, but it was an odd tournament with 11 teams, so it came down to the win/loss ratio and the missed the playoffs by one more point scored against them than the other team. Instead of being upset, she is already talking about the 16U tournament next weekend!

This morning, we all woke up fairly early, determined to cram in as much stitching as possible before we all had to head back to reality. After a short worship service, I worked on an ornament for my step-dad for Christmas. It’s a beaded mandolin from Mill Hill and I think that once all the beads are on it will be incredible!

Mom worked on a little mouse ornament for most of the weekend...

and she managed to take a picture of me stitching too!

After lunch, we had our ornament exchange and I got a beautiful ornament that I will have to take a picture of soon.

We also raffled off 3 baskets of pink donated items and I added in tickets on the models for Wings of Courage and the pillow model from Dancing Dragons. In all, we raised about $370 for the fight against Breast Cancer... not bad for a small group of determined, passionate stitchers.

All too soon we were saying our goodbyes, hugging and planning for the next retreat!

2009-11-05T22:32:00.002-04:00

Getting SO excited about RETREAT!

24 hours from now I will be AWAY!

I really shouldn’t be this gleeful... the rest of the family has to go to Saint John for volleyball on Saturday and the girls sing in church on Sunday, so I will be missing some important stuff. I will try to look like I am VERY miserable. They will not see the dragon skipping gleefully on the inside of my head.

There is something incredible about getting away with a bunch of creative women, especially stitcher. For most of the weekend, I will wander around a huge room where there will be a fire going and little circles of chairs and stitching nests, ott lights and power bars, snack bowls and coffee mugs... and most of all LOTS of stitching projects to look at.

This is one of the only times I stitch OTHER designers’ stuff for MY enjoyment. You see, when I stitch my own models, I am REALLY slow and I know how it is going to turn out. I am such a visual person that I very rarely have something turn out drastically different from what I envisioned. Well, except for the sunburned princess, but I have paid Erica to be quiet about that one. I probably owe another installment of that hush money soon!

I love getting away to stitch as much or as little as I feel like, get in touch with myself in long journal entries, go for walks, chat with my Mom and other great women, raise money for Breast Cancer and have someone ELSE do all the cooking.

It is a little piece of Heaven and I can’t wait.

I just have to teach High School all day tomorrow.....

2009-10-20T14:44:00.000-03:00

A Wonderful Time at the CreativFestival...

I arrived home safely despite some VERY bumpy turbulence on the way home and dragged my suitcases to the basement Sunday night before falling into bed. Unlike some of the wonderful stitchers I spent time with this past weekend, I had the luxury of not having to go to work early Monday morning! As soon as the kids were on the bus, I went home and crawled back into bed to catch up on some of the sleep that I missed over the weekend. Then Nick came home sick from work and hour or so later and I have switched into nurse and mom mode ever since.

What wonderful memories I have! From getting fabulous ideas from stitchers (I’m already doodling my “muddy” little dragon) to hilarious giggles over chart symbols, the weekend was full of wonderful memories. I’d also like to thank all the friends (rather than students because that is what you’ve become over the years!) who jumped in to help snip floss, collect class fees and pass things out to make up for Teresa’s hands not being there and having extra things to kit up. You were my guardian angels and I appreciate the help more than I could ever put into words!

To Karen and Erica who went above and beyond, I owe you more thanks than this dragon has words for. I would have been totally lost without your support , thoughtful gestures and helping hands.

The photos of the class models (including the two of Teresa’s that I had with me) are up on the website under the secure links we discussed in our classes. If you have any trouble with the URLs, just e-mail me to double check how they are listed and that way you will have your photo reference to work from. Remember that if you run into any problems or have questions as you stitch the pieces, I am always just an e-mail away.

Finally, to all those of you who traveled from near and far to share time with me this weekend, I send tired but big dragon hugs to all of you. You truly are the reason I just can’t walk away from designing things to stitch... you are all far too much fun to spend time with. I’m already planning new things for next fall!

2009-10-15T00:24:00.002-03:00

When You Can’t Control How Life Unfolds...

It’s really late back home. I don’t sleep well on the road and a warm bath didn’t do much to soothe the jangled nerves, but I’m going to crawl into bed soon.

Today didn’t unfold the way I’d planned and I am worried about Teresa, who should have been here in the hotel room in Toronto giggling with me instead of lying sick in bed at home. As challenging as it was to have to think about adapting things for the rest of the weekend, I’d still rather be me than be barfing!

It really was the moment of truth today to see if I could put my Inhaling Creativity explorations into practice. Funny how sometimes we learn things just in time to really use them!

Now if only I could get all these ideas out of my head so that I can get some sleep!

Get well soon, Teresa!!

2009-10-07T23:22:00.000-03:00

Pattern Hoarding and Pre-Toronto Chaos...

There’s something about getting ready for the show in Toronto that makes me feel so alive in a total panicky kind of way. I usually have dreams about showing up at the wrong room or with the wrong supplies, but there is something so satisfying about watching the kit pieces come together as they take over my living room. Erin and Bethany have a 5 day Thanksgiving weekend this year since the next 2 days are Curriculum Development days. Teachers have been given a lot of new course materials to integrate with very little preparation or time to review the materials, so they will be doing some workshops and fine-tuning things. Rather than begrudge the fact that they aren’t in school, I gleefully informed them that they could work for me! Kit assembly requires many hands and someone to double-check the counting, snipping etc. Bethany worked for an hour tonight and actually enjoyed herself! We’ll see how long that enthusiasm holds up when we have to put floss on card!

I didn’t teach this week in order to get everything ready, knowing that I’d want a bit of family time for Thanksgiving, so I actually got time to catch up on e-mail and business stuff, but that also allowed me to discover a disturbing trend.

I really wrestled with the shift my work had to take towards illustration as it became almost impossible for me to do trade shows alone with degenerative disc disease. I actually shipped a box for Toronto up to Erica today rather than have too much weight in my suitcase when they asked me to do a book signing for Owen & the Dinosaur in the Kid’s Zone at the CreativFestival. While I may not be publishing as many patterns, the older designs that I spent 16 years of my life creating are still out there for stitchers to enjoy.

This week, several e-mails from stitchers overseas and in the USA revealed a rumour that “Dragon Dreams is no longer selling to shops”. When that showed up in two separate e-mails, I was floored!

See this?

This is just what I keep in my office close at hand in case a shop or distributor needs something quickly.

I also pay for a self-store every month for all the boxes of printed patterns that used to take over my basement.

Honest... the dragon is NOT hoarding her patterns!

So, if your local shop is having trouble getting their claws on a design for you, tell them to give me an e-mail. Only THREE of our 98 published patterns are getting close to being out of print... and they are the least popular of all my designs. I will happily send them to shops who have customers with specific requests or just thought that a design had gone out of print.

The only thing that I won’t do is sell directly to stitchers. Call me old-fashioned, but I spent too many years of my life at trade shows building relationships with store owners to suddenly become their competition. I fully understand that many of the new designers feel the need to have both a retail and a wholesale presence out there. I chose to head more into the Children’s Book Illustration and teaching. We all have to decide what is best for our businesses, our families and ourselves... but I’d hate for stitchers to think that I’d taken a torch to all the patterns that I spent so many years creating. Until those printed patterns run out, they are still IN PRINT. Trust me... I will NEVER, EVER run out of StormBringer patterns. I had to print 3500 to get that printer to take me on and I’ve sold less than 1,000.

I know that some people believe that you are only as fresh as your last piece of work, but I also believe that classics stand the test of time. I know that every time I read A Wrinkle In Time to my kids!

What brings me a lot of joy right now is getting ready to teach pieces at the CreativFestival. I was going to keep my 3-D Perforated Paper Castle Ornament under wraps until next week, but I am just so tickled with how it turned out, that I have to show you.

I am NOT the best person at 3 dimensions... I almost failed sculpture in Fine Arts. Yet, I wanted to come up with a cool ornament for a tree that wouldn’t require a lot of finishing. Perforated paper seemed ideal, but I also wanted it to have some SHAPE. The results were even better than I’d hoped for.

Here is the front...

and here is the back side with the year.

Is is just me or is this too cool??

I can’t wait to get together next weekend with stitchers, friend and other creative people who understand the importance of being Creative in a ready-made world!!!

2009-09-14T23:16:00.000-03:00

Musings From A Morning Walk...

I was only mildly disappointed that the phone didn’t ring before 7 am with a substitute teaching job this morning. After all, it is only the second week of school here and not many teachers are sick yet. I also have plenty to do getting ready for the CreativFestival in Toronto next month, so I had plenty to fill my day.

I did, however, start the morning with an hour’s walk in Mapleton Park which begins at the foot of our street. At 6’5”, I am less afraid to walk in the park alone than some of my friends during daylight hours. I make a point of not wearing headphones, carrying a cellphone and staying to the main paths. There are also few people on this planet who can keep up to my long natural stride without breaking into a run, so I truly enjoy walking at MY pace.

I was musing over what I had learned with the Doodle exercise for my Inhaling Creativity blog when it suddenly struck me. My walks in the woods alone accomplish the same thing for my body that doodling does for my brain! My lungs are pumping in and out, my feet are moving and I am staying on a fairly wide path, so my brain is able to detach a bit and think things through, just like when I am doodling - the hands are busy playing but the brain gets to wander ever so slightly and creative ideas can spring forth.

I also tend to carry a camera with me in case I see something interesting that will illustrate what I plan to blog about, need to take a reference shot for an illustration or see some colours that I want to find floss equivalents for. Today’s walk was a bit of all 3.

Paths can be a wonderful metaphor for our lives. Sometimes, the path we are meant to take can seem so clear that it is almost blinding...

Other times our lives are a blend of shadow and dappled sunshine along the way...

There are also people, events and moments that come into our lives like beacons or some elusive white stag that we chase...

and I also spotten my first Type A personality, overachieving tree trying to be the first one to turn colours!

So the next time you walk down a path, no matter where you are, take a moment to really look at it to see if it mirrors where you are in your life right now or where you would like to be.

But watch out for tree roots and rocks... I looked pretty silly stumbling when my mind wandered a bit too far!

2009-09-10T17:39:00.003-03:00

A Fork in the Road...

Today was a wonderful birthday... I got to go play at a fabulous local wool shop today! Heidi not only spins and dyes fibers in the nummiest colours I have ever seen, she also creates incredible images with them. A few of her felted pieces were hanging on display and it was all I could do not to reach up and touch them! She has them hung out of the reach of most people, but I was wearing my 3 inch heels today and had to remind myself over and over “look but don’t touch!” Of course that advice did NOT apply to the yarn I was intent on buying. Best of all, my Mom bought these for me as a birthday present! Wheeee!

Dragon Musings will still remain as a place to blog about what is going on in my life, thoughts about stitching and everything I have always mused about, but today also marks the beginning of 2 new adventures and 2 new blogs if you care to follow me down either path.

Doodling Dragons is my new illustrator blog that will be linked to my illustration site as soon as I get all my September updates sent over. As I try to get the attention of children’s book publishers, editors and agents, it helps to have a more focussed message about that particular area of my life that includes doodles and drawings on a regular basis rather than the variety of images I tend to share here.

Inhaling Creativity is a 365 day adventure that begins today about finding more ways to be creative in everything you do so that it is as natural as breathing. For the next year, I am going to be posting about things to get inspired about and then put into practice. I’m not exactly sure where this will lead, but many explorers weren’t sure where they would end up either.

So now you have 3 blogs to follow with one crazy person if you choose. May you find a thread you like to follow...

2009-08-29T12:37:00.005-03:00

Provence Life Lesson Number Two:

Age Should Be Appreciated

North Americans fear aging. Countless ads offer products or procedures that will help us turn back the clock to keep us looking and feeling younger. Most people trade in cars or switch houses as soon as things begin to get worn out or cause trouble. Some even do the same with partners... trading in the older model for a younger one. Is it any wonder that our society feels a little bit worried about growing older?

I can already feel it in my bones some mornings, especially my hands. They are stiffer and creakier than they have ever been in my life. The artist worries what would happen if I couldn’t hold a brush or pencil or needle comfortably to create images any more.

My house is the same way. Nick and I have lived here for 17 years, but it was built 21 years ago. The stairs have recently begun to squeak more as we climb them, perhaps done in by the exuberance of my girls as they barrel up and down them with abandon, despite constant reminders from their parents not to “stomp up and down like a herd of elephants”! All the doors but one have been replaced as well as the roof and some of the window seals are starting to go. With a house, there is always something that will need your attention or your money, but there is also the sense of creating a home. Nick and I have lived longer in this house than either of us did anywhere while growing up. It is a place we have built together.

By Provence standards, our house is brand-spanking new! Wandering around villages where some of the buildings could trace a history of a thousand years, it was easy to see why one person I met called us a “cowboy culture”. He meant that North Americans were set in a more frontier mentality because we still had so much wide open space and our buildings were all so very young. We think of something over 100 years old as being “historic”. I saw one farmhouse being refurbished that had been built in the 1400s and was considered a “newer house to remodel compared to some!”

Every hill in Provence seems to have a village perched on it. Far rarer are the villages like Coustellet that are built on the flat plains. These are newer ones, planned out with care like many of our towns in comparison to the cluttered wonder on the hills. Given the history of the Luberon valley area, where huge battles fought during the Crusades caused the fields to “run red with blood”, it makes sense to built up on a hill where you can see an enemy coming.

Safety is provided by building on top of and in many cases almost INTO the hill on which the town or village is built.

Invariably, a church is near the very top of the village, closer to God and worth the climb.

Its bell tower, wrought of iron, is unique in its design and so is the sound of its bell. People used to know which village bell was which by its tolls indicating a call for help, a celebration or a death.

The rest of the village, almost every one we visited, then clusters down and around the church. Buildings rise and tangle with each other, leaning on each other for support to share common walls instead of sitting on individual lots of fenced in land as they do here. There is more of a sense of community with the buildings so close because nothing escapes anyone’s notice. To celebrate a sense of individuality without a huge lawn to mow, each house owner seems to have their own way to decorate the ancient stone with coloured blooms,

create shade for their cats to rest in

or grow potted herbs to add to meals along staircases, in window boxes or on doorsteps.

Any hole in the wall can hold a potted plant to become a thing of beauty.

We watched a grey cat streak in through the hole in this door.

I could only marvel at some of the cracks and spaces I could see in the buildings, imagining all to well how snow and cold would seep into such a space in Moncton.

Instead of a quest to make something look new and “perfect”, Provence seemed to celebrate making things that were old or worn still beautiful and worth appreciating.

This respect for age carried over into the food as well.

We drank a young wine created by a son taking over the winemaking business from his father and resurrecting an older almost extinct grape to make an amazing homage to his father called “À Mon Père” that is the best red wine Nick and I have ever had in our lives. It lived up to all of the memories we had from our last visit. The two bottles that we brought home with us are already gone, used for very special meals with friends, but the taste still lingers on the edges of my tongue.

As I mentioned before, cheese is an entire course in France and you can find everything from young, nippy one to cheese that has surely been aged inside a sweaty sock and buried deep within some well for hundreds of years before being served in tiny chunks to unsuspecting cheese lovers. One such pungent morsel left a smell that seeped under our fingernails and remained there despite much scrubbing with soap. My sister in law was horrified that she might carry that lingering smell on her business trip the next day and have people wonder why her handshake stank!

As an artist, I was also fascinated by the faces of the elders in each village, the ones who had earned their spot on the wall around the town’s fountain or courtyard, who sat in the sunshine waiting for a turn to play pétanque (a form of boules or lawn bowling played throughout Provence), who perched on chairs knitting and discussing those who walked by or sat under the awnings of the cafés sipping on something in the heat. Many of the faces, wrinkled and tanned by the strong sun, reminded me of the apple dolls I always tried to make. The sun and wind had weathered them as they lived their whole lives in this area, watching things change as tourists moved in, discovered the area, bought houses to transform and then left when each summer was over. People in Provence, and all over France for that matter, dressed with more care than most of us here in North America (no sweatpants or sloppy looks), but without trying to look younger. Perhaps it it simply that money is to be spent on other things that creams and potions. Many villagers in the area live on less than $25,000 a year quite well. It is a simpler life and there is less need to fill a house with the latest, fastest, newest things. Tables and other furniture get handed down over generations and they are built to last. A bit worn and loved, smoothed from years and many hands, but sturdier than almost everything in my house!

I came back from Provence with a determination to appreciate age and to embrace its steady march more easily. With a birthday looming just around the corner, I will remind myself every time I look at my girls, who have that boundless energy that takes my breath away, that my years have shaped and sculpted who I have become. By Provence standards, I am still a baby and my house is brand new!

2009-07-22T20:37:00.003-03:00

Provence Life Lesson Number One:

Treasure The Moment, Love Where You Are.

The thing about vacations is that they can’t last. To stay on vacation forever would mean that eventually you would take things for granted or get bored. It has rained 5 out of the 7 days that we’ve been back, so it is perfectly natural for me to think longingly about the pool at Roux-Cailloux or the smell of “lavendre”... but then I look at how lush and green my garden is. Each place has its own beauty, each culture has its own food and riches to share and each moment is alive with possibilities.

This shadow captivated us because something about the mountain’s shape causes the heart to appear when the afternoon sunlight hits just right. I am sure that I wasn’t the first to notice or try to capture the beauty of that view, but it was fun to suddenly look up and see the shape there on the hill. A simple moment that would have slipped by if not captured with a camera.

I miss the marketplaces in Provence. Shopping for fresh food was so much more intimate there, even if the selection was more limited. At the big supermarkets this week, I had to look at produce under sterile, plastic wrap or hunt for peaches that weren’t rock hard because they needed to travel so far to reach us. Just over a week ago, I stroked pallets of peaches and baskets of apricots to see which one we would buy, chose sun-warmed tomatoes from the farmer himself and wondered at the variety of colours, textures and smells around me. No wonder they say “good food remember where it comes from”.

Part of savouring the moment is appreciating what a local area has to offer in terms of food that you don’t get back home. For me, my trips to France will forever be tied to the taste of cheese. Cheese is a separate course there, served after the main course but before any dessert. From tiny stalls in marketplaces to glass cases full of incredible variety, there are dozens of flavours and textures to explore. None of these products would travel well and many of them are pasteurized differently from what we eat in North America... but OH! what incredible tastes!! From soft cheese that puddles from the spoon onto a crisp baguette slice to goat cheese coated in black ashes for a smoky taste, each bite touched different taste buds in your mouth. No wonder I am finding it a bit hard to go back to cheddar, mozzarella and cheese strings!

In the cult classic “Buckaroo Banzai”, there is a quote that says “No matter where you go, there you are.” Provence Life Lesson Number One was to appreciate just that. Great memories, experiences or tastes are fun to relive, but you cannot live in the past. Celebrate what can be appreciated right around you and make memories, even on rainy days!

2009-07-21T23:49:00.003-03:00

To Everything A Season...

Today, I helped one of my very best friends say goodbye to her mother. I watched Karen and her family share memories of a wonderful lady amid tears, laughter and hugs from old friends. It was a touching reminder that from Death, there is ultimately no Passover. What matters is not how much wealth you have accumulated, how powerful you have become but how many lives you touched while you were here on this planet. Those whom Mary touched with her presence while living will now treasure their memories and carry on.

After celebrating 20 years with Nick in Provence, I cannot image what John is going through after losing his wife of 62 years, but he spoke so beautifully today. There are some who say that such a loss would be unbearable, but I think of the famous quote “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Goodbye Mary... we will help watch over your family for you now that you are gone.

2009-07-08T11:50:00.001-03:00

Celebrating Twenty Years...

Twenty years ago to the day, I married my best friend. I had known him since I was 17 and dated him for almost 5 years before we married. When I walked down the aisle and saw the expression on his face, I knew that our adventures together were just beginning. After all this time, he has forgiven me for forgetting his wedding ring in the back of the limo and still jokes that we was married to our minister for about 20 minutes (our minister slipped off his own ring for me to use and it only went down to Nick´s knuckle) instead of me.
We have had our ups and downs like other couples. We have supported each other through career setbacks and changes, challenges and triumphs. Together, we have raised two amazing daughters. As much as we love them, we are also painfully aware of how little time we have left with them under our own roof. Already they are growing into young women who will head off on adventures of their own in such a short time. Funny how I thought those sleepless nights would never end when they were little children. Being here in France with my niece and nephew (who are 8 and 4) is like taking a step back in time to 6 years ago when my girls were that age. It is wonderfully exhausting. I watch my husband toss them around the pool and smile. Although there may be a few more grey hairs on his head, he has lost none of the youthful enthusiasm that makes me call him Tigger in the first place.
So many of our friends have divorced already that we are now considered to be an old married couple by today´s standards. I think of my grandparents who still teased each other after more than 45 years together and hope that we will have as long to treasure each other´s company. However many years we have left together, I will try never to take them for granted. This day, this moment in the blazing sun of Provence, with the cicaidas buzzing and a gentle breeze blowing, I know that I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful partner to share this adventure called life with.

2009-07-01T10:30:00.004-03:00

Being Happy In Your Own Skin...

Nothing is harder on an artist or crafter than not being able to use their hands!

I overdid it a bit spreading 4 yards of mulch around our property before we leave on vacation today over the past 3 weeks, working like a fiend on the few non-rainy days we had. In the process, I gave myself a nasty case of tennis elbow (shouldn’t that be mulch elbow since I don’t play tennis?). In order for it to heal, I’ve had to do little or no drawing, stitching, gaming, knitting, typing or anything involving my right hand for the past week. Aaaargh!

Though Erin reminds me that the same thing happened when I shoveled all the gravel a few years ago right before my back went out, I found myself wallowing in worries and fears about my body being less invincible than I think... and how that affects my ability to be creative. I am less afraid of growing old than I am of getting something like arthritis that will cripple my hands... but this is the only body I live in, so I will just have to learn how to pace myself.

All I am taking to France is two sketchbooks. I plan to draw for the sheer joy of it and give my hands a break from everything else they do to fill my days.

Here’s what I meant to blog about last weekend when my hands couldn’t type...

The death of Michael Jackson and all the video tributes has made for some very interesting discussions in our household. Neither of my kids are very familiar with his music or videos and had certainly never seen pictures of what he looked like as a young man before the endless rounds of plastic surgery.

The French have a wonderful expression “etre bien dans sa peau” which basically means that you are comfortable in your own skin and happy with who you are.

Erin wore 3 inch heels to her Grade 8 graduation to have fun with her height since she knew that she’d be the tallest one there anyway. Some of her classmates had “dissed” her choice of dress as not being fancy enough when she described it to them (this is a grade 8 graduation for pete’s sake!) or told her that she didn’t know how to dress up from her jocky everyday school look... and BOY, did she prove them wrong! Why go for “pretty” when you can go for statuesque and stunning?

Nick was heartbroken that his school ceremonies were on the same night, but he bought a corsage for her and posed in our front hallway with her before she put on her heels to be taller than him.

When she strode across that stage to accept her award certificate, all I could think of was how proud her 6’3” great grandmother would have been! She always put her fingernails between my shoulder blades if she caught me slouching and told me to be proud of my height. I am sure that she is the reason I up straight and have great posture to this day.

There are many things about ourselves that we can change and quite a few that we cannot.
What matters is that each of us try to learn to “be well in our own skin”, to love who we are as unique creations and to take care of our bodies both inside and out.

I remember my own high school years and know that it will have challenging moments for Erin as well... but I am so glad that she is learning to have fun with the inches she has been given and celebrate them. To paraphrase the words of She-Hulk in her classic graphic novel “I’m 6’7” and green. People are going to stare anyway, so I might as well wear what I like!”

AMEN!!

2009-06-12T22:45:00.002-03:00

It Make The Heart Hurt As Well As Grow Fonder....

Nick is up in Quebec City right now as the principal and also a chaperone on the Grade 8 field trip. They left early Thursday morning and though we’ve managed to touch base a few times by phone, it certainly isn’t the same as seeing each other on a daily basis.

These days, spending time apart for couples is becoming common again as one spouse may seek work out West or serve overseas. I am certainly not the only one to find the empty side of the bed disconcerting, but tonight I am feeling it deeper than I usually do.

I took the girls to see the movie UP this afternoon right after school. What an awesome, wonderful and poignant film. The only drawback was that I blubbered like a big softy at least twice in the movie. The opening scenes set up the premise so well and so passionately, that I doubt there was an adult (or savvy child) in the audience with a dry eye. The scene that got to me the most was the one later in the movie with the scrapbook. ( No, I won’t spoil it for those of you who haven’t seen it yet!) In the darkened theater, I suddenly realized that if I was missing Nick this much on a 4 day trip after almost 20 years of being married, what on earth would I do if he were to die before me after we’ve been together for another 20 or 30 years?

Being a total glutton for punishment, I picked up some pizza for the girls and we had a picnic in front of the TV for supper while I drank a few litres of water to wash the salty popcorn taste from my mouth. We put in the first DVD of Season 4 from Little House on the Prairie... and it happens to be the episode where the beloved dog, Jack, dies!! Luckily, Nick bought several boxes of tissue when they were on sale last week!

Now that the girls have gone to bed and the heavy rains have eased up, the only sound in the house is the tapping of my keyboard as I make this entry, avoiding going up to the half empty bed until I am so tired that I will sleep despite the absence of any weight or snoring noises on the other side of the bed. It is good to have time away from those who are closest to you now and then, because it makes you understand how easy it is to take people or stuff for granted.

The thing is, we cannot go through our lives without feeling things and taking chances. Any writer or illustrator who is going to REALLY speak to children wrestles with this. If there is no conflict and challenge for a character, then there is no growth. Truly great stories, legends and movies teach us about rising up in the face of adversity, about not losing hope in the face of insurmountable odds, about loving with our whole hearts even if it means that they might get broken, about standing up for what is right instead of just doing what is safe and won’t make waves.... and so much more.

That's what draws me to children's literature more than anything. Children may be growing up faster than I did in my day, but there is still room to believe...

When we see someone being heroic, we remember that it is possible for all of us to be more than we are, braver than we think and more tenacious in our hope.

2009-06-03T12:21:00.003-03:00

BEWIXT AND BETWEEN...

At first, dealing with all the chaos of the unexpected, I didn’t know what to say...

Then, I wasn’t sure of how much I wanted to share...

Then I just got caught up in taking one day at a time...

Suddenly, so much time had gone by that it became almost intimidating to think of how to sum up the last few months.

I guess the best place to start is at the beginning.

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Right before Easter, I went in to teach 6 days of High School while my best friend took a much needed leave without pay to go on a cruise after completing her Master’s thesis and producing the musical Jesus Christ Superstar at the school. I went in to teach Office Technology and Journalism classes for the person who replaced her as the Vice-Principal.

A day after she and her family returned, my friend’s house was burned to the ground and her two cats killed in the blaze when a faulty propane tank on their BBQ exploded and destroyed their house in the ensuing blaze. As we helped them pick up the pieces of their lives, gave our godson a place to come when his parents needed to deal with all the chaos of sorting things out, the school decided that keeping me in for that teacher would offer the students a sense of consistency. Thus began over 3 weeks with one set of classes and then a variety that led to working 27 out of the last 38 teachable days!

Amid all this, Erin coped with the pinched nerve that caused the headaches, finished her volleyball season with another injury and is now waiting for the results of a mono test.

Bethany starred as one of the 2 lead roles in her school play at the District Drama Festival, finished Explorers, went off to a weekend camp and finished her 10 week preteen modeling course.

Nick has been wrestling with scheduling for next year amid one of the most ridiculous and insulting round of cutbacks to Education that our province has ever seen and trying not to rip his hair out. Thanks to the Liberal government here in New Brunswick, our schools will have less Teachers Assistants, almost no library time at any school as well as the highest number ever of split grade classes in Elementary schools as they fill each class to the legal limit to avoid paying for extra teachers. So much for the literacy-centred, quality education we were promised where our KIDS would come FIRST!

Despite the low teacher morale, I have indeed LOVED working with kids of all ages as a substitute teacher. I have taught one out of every 3 possible days so far this year, which has been way more than I expected to. After almost 2 years of juggling things around with the ebb and flow of cross stitch income, it has been really wonderful to bring in more income... but that can also become a temptation and trap unto itself.

The whole point of choosing supply teaching was to work a certain number of days a month and then devote the rest to illustration and designing...

Instead, it has been so easy to say yes to extra teaching and extra income instead of taking risks and sending work off to publishers.

Time and time again, I ask myself WHY it is easier to get busy at other things instead of allowing myself to be vulnerable.

Maybe I’ve become just as conditioned as the rest of our society to want everything FAST!

Some tasks need to be done slowly and properly if they are to accomplish what is needed.

See this junk? All of it came from our shed beside the house which hadn’t been properly sorted in 4 years. Victoria Day weekend, we took EVERYTHING out... even the dust and spiders. (I swept the dust, Nick handled the spiders)

We even had people stop at the end of the driveway to see if it was a yard sale only to leave disappointed.

4 hours, 2 runs to the dump and one run to the Salvation Army drop-off, we had a shed again.

Nick teased me for being way too OCD after labeling one set of drawers, but I smiled ever so sweetly and reminded him WHO bought me the labeler! In celebration of having a tidy shed and burning off all the calories moving stuff around, we went for the first Ice Cream Cone of the season as a family.

Now begins the transition into school closing activities, Grade 8 graduation ceremonies, piano recitals, Church picnics etc. I am learning to celebrate little moments and not take them for granted. Do you want to know how cheap lobster was here for Mother's Day or does my grin say it all?? (Cooked lobsters were $6.99 a pound! Whooo Hooo!)

Somewhere along the way, I need to think ahead to the fall and remember that I wanted this to be about balance instead of just diving into something to the oblivion of everything else.

It just goes to show you that even after school gets out, you never stop learning!

2009-04-02T21:46:00.003-03:00

MOMENTS YOU DREAD...

There is nothing scarier than sitting beside your child in a hospital bed as they sob, not knowing what is wrong. After a great performance in the Greater Moncton Music Festival today, I took Erin back to school shortly before lunch only to receive a call around 1:30 that she’d almost collapsed in class while giving her oral presentation. I raced to school to pick her up and found her in tears with a blinding headache, almost unable to stand or walk on her own.

Five hours later we are home again and I have nothing but praise for the ER staff at the Moncton Hospital who got her right onto a stretcher in the trauma side and up for a CAT scan in a matter of hours. How thankful I am to live in a country with medicare tonight and for doctors who took her pain seriously, especially when they discovered that pressure on a certain spot at the back of her head made the pain escalate. The doctor immediately reassured her that this was a good sign since it probably meant that it was muscular or nerve related. I feel blessed that the CAT scan revealed nothing internal to worry about. The pinched nerve that had been bothering her earlier in the year has probably just reared its ugly head again in a rather dramatic way. The doctor recommended a stronger anti-inflammatory and a follow-up with our own family physician in a week to explore other options if the pain is still there.

I feel weak with relief and yet also far more sensitive to parents whose answers aren’t always as a relief as what I heard tonight.

2009-03-30T21:43:00.002-03:00

UNEXPECTED MOMENTS...

In the whirlwind that has been supply teaching, drawing, stitching and volleyball season, I sometimes don’t know whether I am coming or going! We’ve had 3 tournaments in 3 weekends, only one of which was close enough to avoid a hotel stay. Erin has been in her element, but the rest of us are a bit bench weary.

The past few weeks have seen a wonderful melting of our snow which causes neighbours to stop and chat during their evening walks or children to don sneakers instead of boots to test out bikes. Yesterday, it was so warm that I hung the first load of towels outside on the line while I coaxed my family for a walk in the park near our home.

What a difference 24 hours can make here in the Maritimes. We woke up to our second spring blizzard in less than a week. Everything ground to a halt last Tuesday as well. The difference with this storm is that we’ve had SO much snow fall today that the roads are still almost impassible. We’ve certainly had more than the 20 cm they were calling for (almost 8 inches) Nick JUST came in from wrestling with the snowblower for over an hour and a half. The massive storm looks like it will dump a further 15 cm (almost 7 inches) on us tonight!

I have spent the whole day in my pyjamas. I can’t remember the last time I did that when I wasn’t sick and it felt wonderful. We sometimes need these unexpected moments that force us to be still to remember to recharge our batteries.

In a society where we heat or cool our cars and buildings, we sometimes think that life should go on “as normal” every single day, regardless of what Mother Nature throws at us. I think perhaps that we have separated ourselves to much from listening to the rhythm of the seasons and the weather. So instead of trying to get anywhere today, we spent time as a family. We watched Twilight, Bethany and Nick enjoyed a good round of Lego Batman, I knit and stitched, Erin researched a mini-project due Friday and drew a manga.

With the arrival of a grand nephew in the family, I’ve had an excuse to play with some baby wool that creates its own pattern as you knit. Here is Liam’s jester hat before I put the first pompom on!

Here is the wool that I want to play with to make a long pair of socks as soon as I finish my blue pair. This is all Barb’s fault for sending me that first ball of Opal wool over a year ago and Yarn Harlot for writing such an easy to follow sock pattern!!! I honestly never thought I would get this addicted to socks!

Of course I learned the hard way over the past 3 weekends that I can only knit scarves at volleyball tournaments. I knit by feel and use the needles in my hand to keep from chewing my fingernails to little stubs when the score gets close. The 4 row moss stitch pattern that I’d tried to start for Liam’s jacket was a total disaster because I could never remember which row I was on. So I just made 9 scarves instead! Maybe that’s why winter hasn’t left yet.

It is wonderful to see both my daughters coming into their own. Bethany has started a 10 week modeling course and just loves it. I enrolled her to help with her posture, because she’d begun to slouch a bit, but she is having fun learning about proper nutrition, body care and how to walk down a runway. Great fun for someone who was hooked on America’s Top Model in reruns!

Erin had a brilliant weekend in Halifax at the tournament, even though her team got eliminated in the semifinals after going into them as the top ranked team in the tourney. Her coach had purchased silver medals for each team member to make up for the lack thereof at the last tournament along with two MVP trophies. Erin not only scored the winning points to get her team to the semifinals, she also spent Saturday encouraging her team not to give up when the going got tough... which earned her this bling from a very classy coach.

This weekend, she also met the scout from one of the universities in Nova Scotia who asked if he could talk to us at tournaments over the next few years as Erin went through High School! I am sure that this won’t be the last time someone talks to us about where Erin might play and go to school someday, but it was pretty exciting to meet a scout at almost 14!

Just as the weather can switch from one extreme to another, our lives can change from one day to the next...

but with every warm day comes the promise of spring...

with every blank page comes a drawing to be...

with every ball of yarn come countless possibilities...

and with every experience... come hundreds of dreams.

Dream Well!

2009-03-12T15:28:00.002-03:00

Trying to Find the Right Balance...

It feels a little bit like walking a tightrope!

I came home from the SCBWI conference in NY and leapt right into a crazy round of supply teaching days and Writers In The School visits. After two years of very bleak income from designing cross stitch, it has been a real help to our family to be able to earn a fairly regular income from substitute teaching. I’ve also discovered that I really, REALLY love it!

Doing school visits with the Writers In the Schools Program (or in my case Illustrator) is even more fun because I get to talk to the kids about a fairly nontraditional career, living a creative life and, of course, having a back-up plan.

But I have REALLY missed the FULL days to DRAW!

So I think that I am finally finding the balance between teaching enough days to help the bottom line and not feeling guilty when I need a day to work on pieces for my portfolio. I have trained myself to think of it as a DIFFERENT kind of work that day, instead of a day at HOME... so that I don’t get lost in the trap of laundry, e-mail, paperwork etc. That’s what weekends are for (except for right now when 3 consecutive weekend volleyball tournaments are making things interesting!) and not my painting/drawing days.

It is a bit like knitting a sock. I finished the purple pair for my sister and jumped right in to a blue pair for myself. A sock has many stages and you cannot rush or avoid any part of the sock... or it ceases to be a sock.

Slowly but surely, I am finding the balance between all my various parts: teacher, artist, wife, mother etc. and learning to savour the tasks at hand for each instead of dashing between them and getting tangled!

2009-02-13T19:15:00.002-04:00

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Here is a fun, Girl Power, calorie-free, guilt-free little design to stitch up for yourself or for someone you love to remind them that they don’t HAVE to have someone in their life to be complete.

I have been happily married to Nick for almost 20 years now, but I also have a lot of friends who have been through messy divorces, lost husbands to illness or sudden deaths lately. I am also raising two girls in a world where the pressure to “pair off” and have someone special in your life has never been stronger. I keep telling them not to settle for SECOND BEST and to just spend time figuring out who they are for the next few years at least.

This year’s Valentine Treat can be found on my website Newsletter page.

Since my Mother-In-Law has taken the girls for the night... that’s all the time I am going to spend blogging. I have a date with my Best Friend (who just happens to be my husband)!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

2009-02-12T20:55:00.003-04:00

Messing With My Wacom Tablet...

I booked today off for drawing and also to get a Power Point presentation ready for tomorrow’s high school visit with the Writers In The Schools program. I am used to doing smaller sessions with kids where I can show my drawings and paintings to 30 kids at a time, but this is over 250 Grade 9s at once in an auditorium. I am certainly NOT going to pass around my artwork!

I wanted some images to tie together the 4 Creation Steps and decided to make my own clip art using the tablet and Photoshop Elements.

Stage One: The Idea

This is that eureka moment when an idea pops into your head like a bolt of white lightning. Sometimes it even wakes you up from a deep sleep and demands to be captured in a sketchbook. Nick says it is like living with a giant hamster when he wakes up in the dark and hears me scribbling in my sketchbook without turning on a light....

Stage Two: Thumbnails

These are supposed to be scribbles. I often fill a whole page or two with little postage-size scrawls to try out different compositions. Time and time again at the SCBWI conferences, I hear that if your book doesn’t work at the thumbnail stage, it won’t work when the pictures are bigger. I’d rather spend my time getting it right at the smaller stage than having to repaint all my final artwork!

Stage Three: Drawing

This is where the rubber meets the road. At this stage, I like to spend the time to get the drawing just right, without losing to much of its energy. That can be a fine line between perfection and rigidity, but at least I can still erase things at this stage.

Stage Four: Final Image

The finished product is actually the only step that most people see. This is why I feel it is SO important for kids of any age (and even adults) to understand all the work that happens before they see the final painting, story, video game, movie, song etc. Maybe if more people understood how much time and effort goes into creating things that inspire us, they wouldn’t be so quick to steal it or share things illegally!

So there are my four little doodles of the day with my Wacom tablet. It still feels clunky compared to what I can do with my “bare” hands, but I did have some fun with textures and effects that I couldn’t have done easily with my pencils, markers and paint. It is a learning curve of sorts... and I will have to learn to be patient with myself.

2009-02-03T07:40:00.001-04:00

I arrived home safely from the SCBWI show in NY, after Air Canada’s best attempts to strand me in Montreal for a few extra hours, and our plane got in only 45 minutes late. Sitting in airport lounges for longer than expected gave me lots of time to journal about my experiences and reflect upon WHY I feel so strongly that this is what I need to do.

What is this hunger to speak or draw stories into being? What is this restless gnawing in the pit of our souls that demands release? No wonder the creative process is often compared to giving birth... the travails of loving something enough to it change you as it grows inside of you... and the sheer work/pain/sweat of bringing it into the world where you set it free to grow and have a life of its own...

The feel of holding the first and second books that I illustrated were similar to the wonder that swept through me as I held each of my daughters in my arms for the first time. Each one was unique. Both of them were different from the other and yet that same swell of emotion poured forth from some deep inner well of my being. “Look, World! Look at what I have helped to create!”

In an instant, all of the work and pain and sweat are forgotten in some glorious euphoria of pride and you know that you would do it all again. That you would put yourself in that place of vulnerability and doubt and sweat and angst because it is simply what you need to do.

I wish I didn’t have meetings today. All I really want to do is paint after all the ideas I got this weekend!

2009-02-01T19:18:00.003-04:00

All Done and Just Beginning...

It’s like finishing a story. There is something about an ending of a book when you can still think about the characters and the magic that you’ve just been involved in lingers with you for a while... That’s how I feel now that the SCBWI conference is over here in NY. It will take more than a few days to process all that I have seen and heard... it will linger with me as I am getting back to family and routine, percolate at the back of my head as I fall asleep and be in mind every time I pick up pen or paint brush.

Not that it wasn’t also fun to wander out into New York City this afternoon and gawk like a total tourist!!

Times Square was very cool!

I am glad that my kids didn’t see how huge the Toys R Us was here, but I did have to pose in front of the Animal Crossing display. I would have been even more excited if it had been for Harvest Moon Island of Happiness!

The guy in the giant panda suit was just TOO funny!!

We walked all the way up to the sushi restaurant that had been recommended to us, only to discover that it didn’t open for another 2 hours!! We found a tiny little restaurant that did pizza and each got a slice before we ate each other then wandered the 8 blocks or so back to the hotel.

Since then, I have been packing and percolating ideas, dreaming and doodling and thinking about how badly my fingers are itching to pick up a paintbrush when I get home!

2009-01-30T23:08:00.003-04:00

INFORMATION OVERLOAD!

I feel like a sponge that has been thrown into a pool instead of a bathtub! I can’t possibly process all the information that has been floating around the Illustrator Intensive program today, but I thought I would blog about a few of the highlights.

Our morning started off with an amazing talk by Leo & Diane Dillon who work in tandem as a husband and wife illustration team. Their incredible body of work was inspiring to see and also uplifting in how it encouraged any artist to continue to grow and learn. I bought one of their books and had the chance to get them both to autograph it afterwards.

After that came a head warping session about how to paint in a traditional manner using Digital medium. I only have Photoshop Elements rather than Photoshop CS3, so a LOT of the pull down menus he was showing us didn’t work the same, but many of us sat there with our laptops and tablets trying out the shortcuts, tips or tricks that got crammed into the two hour session. At one point, I just shut my computer down and took notes because my head was starting to hurt! The room was also very chilly. Even the heat of all the computers humming didn’t warm us up much.

At noon, we had to take our portfolios and promotional cards down to the other end of the floor to enter them in the exhibition. With over 100 illustrators taking part, even though we were dropping them off in alphabetical chunks, it took about 15 minutes of our 45 minute lunch break. Teresa and I headed up to our room and decided to leave our computers behind for the afternoon session, but that meant running down to the business centre to print out our “childhood memories” for the graphic novel workshop. This didn’t leave much time for anything other than a granola bar and a banana before we headed into our afternoon session.

Elise Primavera ran the workshop on graphic novels which included some of her history as an illustrator and then a challenging round-robin story activity where we had less than 5 minutes to create and introduce 2 characters in 2 panels of a graphic novel thumbnail. When the time was up, we passed the page to the person on our left and started a new 2 panel illustration continuing the story by the person to our right. Elise guided us by telling us things we had to do to introduce conflict etc. but with only 4 minutes for each 2 squares x 5 pages... it got a little exhausting and overwhelming. To top it all off, our group got to act out the best story from our circle. Being the shy, retiring type I got to act out the part of a hungry dog..... and Teresa was a great sport about being the T-bone steak (it’s hard to explain!) At least I didn’t have to bite the other dog’s butt like in the cartoon panel one of our members drew! Many of the stories ended up involving food or being hungry, so I don’t think that Teresa and I were the only ones to skip lunch!

The last session of the day was the Art Director’s Panel which ended up being SO much more nerve-wracking than I’d dreamed! Back in December, they’d asked attendees to submit images for a panel, but I thought the members would just pull out images to match their points about key elements of children’s book illustration (ie. strong characters, good composition, use of colour etc.) As the panel started, the first 3 images from one illustrator came up and they began to talk about consistency of style etc., reviewing the 3 images as a whole. My stomach sank somewhere under the table to my toes. I thought about the variety in the 3 pictures I had submitted and just dreaded what they might say if my work suddenly appeared on the screen.

Anyone who has ever read “Steering by Starlight” by Martha Beck can appreciate how my inner lizard was having a TOTAL MELTDOWN!! I actually own a Webkinz Gecko that I can “Sneaky” who I can usually pat when I get these sneak panic attacks... but she was all the way back in my hotel room!

Two hours of angst, but all in vain. Thankfully (or should I feel disappointed) none of my images appeared on the screen to be critiqued. When the session was over, Teresa and I met up with Paul to go in search of some much needed FOOD! Then it was back up to the hotel to wait until we were allowed to go into view all of the portfolios once the Art Directors were finished looking at them. The lighting was much better than during the portfolio exhibition in LA this summer and there were less people allowed in to see the work (just the illustrators themselves instead of everyone) but I still found it VERY confusing. I wish that each Art Director or publisher that attended the SCBWI portfolio review had been given a pile of coloured sticky notes or tabs and been asked to stick one on any image in an illustrator’s portfolio that they found particularly strong. This would certainly give us more feedback!! I also found a huge discrepancy in the number of images in the portfolios. This summer, I kept hearing that you should only put in your 5 to 10 strongest images.... but some of the binders there had between a dozen and 25 pictures each!! I looked as if I just didn’t draw much instead of the fact that I really took the time to edit my selections...

As an illustrator, the most valuable thing that anyone can share with me, beyond their own journey or experience, is feedback and guidance on what works or what doesn’t and where to go from here. Hopefully, there will be more of that tomorrow.

OK... my head really, really hurts... but only because I think I’ve learned way too much to process tonight. I didn’t sleep much last night, but I know that I will sleep well in a very short while...

2009-01-29T23:40:00.000-04:00

WE MADE IT (JUST)!

I am typing this from the relative comfort of our hotel room as the hustle and bustle of downtown Manhattan drift up from below in a symphony of honks and sirens.

The snowstorm that wreaked havoc across the Eastern United States and Central Canada on Tuesday and Wednesday reached Moncton late yesterday afternoon. When Nick checked my flight status before supper, he discovered that Air Canada had “proactively” canceled the flights out of Montreal that night and hence also canceled my early morning flight to Montreal the next morning!

A long wait on the toll free number confirmed that Paul Burns and I had already been rebooked on a 12:40 flight to Montreal Thursday, continuing on to New York and arriving in LaGuardia just before supper time. Later than our original booking, but at least getting us there before the Intensive workshops that we’d signed up for all day Friday. I called Teresa Wentzler to let her know that we had been rebooked and she was able to arrange a later flight time due to the weather advisories in her own area, guaranteeing that she wouldn’t be left in the wilds of New York without us for too long. I asked about the other flight to New York via Halifax, but she told me to wait until the morning to see what the weather was like.

Nick and I got the girls up to Mom and John’s house, finished packing for my trip and his meeting the next day in Fredericton, then went to bed as the snowflakes swirled madly outside. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong with flying through Montreal later in the day, but I chalked it up to nerves and tried to get to sleep. Around 2 am, the sound of ice pellets and sleet hitting the window woke me up. Sure enough, the dire predictions of a transition to ice rain had come true. Resisting the urge to get up and prowl around the house for chocolate, I made myself go back to sleep by counting dragons chasing sheep.

At 6 am, we woke to the news that schools throughout the province were closed for the day. Since the police were advising people to stay off the roads as much as possible, Nick decided to teleconference for his meeting instead of driving 2 hours each way to Fredericton and back in one day. The morning news mentioned the fact that most early morning flights out of Moncton had already been canceled, but that airports were hoping to get things moving again as quickly as possible.

The little niggling feeling was back in the pit of my stomach. What if a plane never arrived from Montreal to pick us up? I grabbed my fluffy housecoat and raced downstairs to get the laptop out of the bag and bring it upstairs to bed. WiFi means being able to check the status of other flights from beneath the warmth of your duvet! Nick helped me find out if the flight from Halifax to Moncton was still flying and it was. I called Paul and asked him if he was game to try getting to the airport for 8 am instead of noon to see if we could jump on the flight to Halifax since there would be a plane to get on!! He agreed and since school had been canceled, he even coaxed his teenage son to drive us both to the airport!

We arrived and managed to get seats on the flight to Halifax then on to LaGuardia, but the agent also left us on the flight to Montreal just in case. After going through security, we discovered that the Continental flight from 6 am was still grounded and the runway closed! Checking the monitors, we discovered that the flight from Halifax was only 15 minutes late coming in and the hearty Dash 8 landed with no problems at all. Before we knew it, we were boarded and on our way... only to discover that the high winds made for some pretty rough turbulence going up and coming down.

Once we landed in Halifax and got off the plane, we cleared US Customs to discover that the flight to LaGuardia was delayed until 1:10 because the plane had yet to arrive from the backlog in Montreal and Boston. I was able to get a hold of Teresa on her cell phone to let her know about our change in plans. We would now be arriving 45 minutes ahead of her into New York instead of an hour behind. Paul and I ordered lunch and bided our time until we boarded the flight. Once I got on the plane and had time to catch up on the day’s events in my journal, I realized how tired I was. The adrenaline was wearing off now that I knew we would indeed reach New York safely in time for the Friday events.

Guess what we discovered as we stepped off the plane into the terminal and checked the monitors?? The flight from Montreal to LaGuardia got canceled due to mechanical difficulties with the aircraft!!! I could have been stranded in Montreal right now or forced to fly to Toronto before going on to NY.

Always listen to the little niggling feelings....

OK. I’ve been writing this blog on and off between angsting over the order of my images in my portfolio, trying to find a place to make one colour photocopy, writing my story for the graphic novel workshop tomorrow. We’ve gawked at Grand Central Station and the Chrysler building and acted like total tourists in this amazing city.

Time to go to bed... I don’t think I can sleep due to terror/excitement, but I should probably try.

2009-01-27T14:43:00.003-04:00

SURFACING...

I have no idea where the month of January went!

Actually, that’s not quite true. 5 days were spent as a substitute teacher in the schools, 2 days in Fredericton with the Writers In the Schools Program, 2 days of a whirlwind visit with my Dad and Barb here for a visit, several days trying to beat my head against my computer when it stopped being able to make readable .pdf files for some reason and the rest of the time I was frantically getting ready for the SCBWI conference in New York City this weekend.

I’ve been busy...

quite busy...

OK... really, really busy!

So here I am with the portfolio mostly ready to go (I have to decide which of 2 books I am going to put them in), my promotional stuff is ready at the printer for Nick to pick up on the way home, my new website DragonDoodles.ca is ready to go...

...and I have just found out that there is the potential for a huge snowstorm to hit tomorrow through Thursday morning (when I am supposed to fly out)! The urge to scream or eat chocolate is pretty strong!!

Since I cannot control Mother Nature, I have decided to concentrate on the things that I CAN control:

I can make a packing list so that I don’t forget anything important.

I can celebrate the fact that I have new work to show off once I arrive there safely.

I can think about the great travel stories I may have to tell other attendees.

I can decide which art supplies pack well, just in case I get stuck in an airport longer than I had planned.

I can blog from wherever I get stuck since I HAVE to take the new laptop with me for one of the workshops (which reminds me... I need to install Photoshop Elements on it before I go!)

I can write a story to go with the 2 polar bear illustrations I had such fun creating for my portfolio.

I can bring along some graph paper and design something new in cross stitch.

I can bring along the pair of socks I need to finish knitting.

and if worst comes to worst...

I can always break down and buy a tiny bit of chocolate somewhere along the way!

2008-12-25T10:51:00.002-04:00

Time to Breathe... Time to Rest... Time to Gather and Time to Dream...

I can’t believe how fast the Fall slipped into Winter and into Christmas! There is a lull now after the presents are opened before the chaos of a family gathering and feast for me to slip down to the keyboard and write my first entry since November.

Almost every waking moment since Retreat has been filled with teaching, drawing, painting, volleyball tournaments, School District Championships (Erin’s team won!!), baking, Christmas pageant rehearsals and much more. I have taught or been a Visiting Illustrator through the Writers in the Schools Program every day that I have not booked myself off the system to paint, averaging 3 days a week or more! This went a long way to helping our family’s bottom line, especially in these uncertain economic times. My girls have learned how to get home and get settled into their homework for the first half an hour after school before I get home from supply teaching at the high school where Erin will head next fall. It has a school day that is an hour longer than theirs, but the bus ride home from school takes at least half an hour. They are growing up SO fast... It astounds me that they will be 14 and 10 next April!

After a fall of weekend travels to tournaments, the Provincial 15 and under Volleyball season wrapped up on the same weekend as a book signing and our church Christmas pageant. Life was a wee bit chaotic for 48 hours. Erin’s team finished in 5th place overall despite a good win/loss ratio because of the points scored against them. She enjoyed playing with the girls from last year’s team who moved up to the older division, but she is also thrilled that she can play another year in the 14 and under league that begins in January. The loss at the provincial level was more than offset by winning the School District championships as the captain of her team. This is the first time that her school has ever won a trophy and banner for girl’s Volleyball!

School wrapped up for the Christmas holidays after two FABULOUS report cards. We spent a week or so doing all the baking for the church baskets and teacher gifts. Can you see my dining room table at all under the cookies?? I do tend to go a bit overboard...

Last Saturday, Erin decided that she needed to spend some of her hard earned baby sitting money at the mall. She and two other friends roamed on their own for a few hours while Nick, Bethany and I searched for the last of the things on our lists, then her friends came home for a sleep over and gingerbread house decorating party. I think the house turned out better than last year’s with the extra creative input. It also helped to have extra bodies to nibble the candy leftovers!

Today will be a day of long distance phone calls to far-flung family and gathering with those who are near. Nick can’t wait to play his lego Batman on the Wii with the girls and I am looking forward to lots of long soaks in the tub with all the wonderful spa stuff that my family bought for me.

The holiday vacation is also a wonderful break for me because I can’t get any calls to supply teach! This lets me focus on spending time with my family and immersing myself in getting my portfolio ready for the SCBWI conference at the end of January in New York City. I have been rediscovering how much I like watercolours with a piece called “Raining Cats and Dogs”. I am just building up the shadows in the raincoats before adding the colour after masking all the areas off that I needed to keep white with frisket. It is SUCH fun to play with!! I am hoping to have 4 strong pieces ready that none of the Art Directors saw this summer in L.A. Anything more than that will be gravy.

So to those of you who have been checking this blog for updates and then e-mailing to see if I am OK... I am doing fine... more than FINE! I hope that all of you can find moments of peace and tranquility during the chaos of the Holiday Season... to reflect upon the year that was and dream about the year to come... then take the first steps out to make some of those dreams a reality!

To those who are traveling at this time of year, may your journeys be safe ones!

2008-11-06T23:00:00.002-04:00

Of Accomplishments and Dreams...

I am literally counting the hours.

Tomorrow night, I abandon my family and beg my husband to drive my mother and I almost 40 minutes away from our city to a wonderful haven known as Camp Wildwood for an AWESOME cross stitch retreat! For almost 48 hours, I will be free from e-mail, phone, children and husband. Yes, I will be sleeping in my sleeping bag on a mattress on the floor (because the bunk beds are just too SHORT for me!) but someone else will be doing all the cooking and dishes. If I want to sit and stitch or knit or draw until midnight... I can! If I want to take a nap or go for a walk in the middle of the afternoon... I can!

Can you see why I am counting down the hours until I leave?

I used to lie to my youngest daughter every time I went to retreat. She would tell me how much she was going to miss me... and I would tell her “ I will miss you too!”. Now that she is older, I can be honest with her. I explain that Mommy will be much happier and much more relaxed after an event like this than if I didn’t go! Since the girls have Monday and Tuesday off from school, I will still have time to play with them and get stuff done here at home. I can truly skip off with minimal guilt this year! I probably need it even more this year because of all the supply work that I am getting. I have worked or taught outside the home every day this week. Great for the budget... not so great for getting ready for the SCBWI conference that I just registered for today in New York City at the end of January. I need to have 5 or 6 new pieces in my portfolio for that show so that they see change and growth since this summer in LA.

Instead of giving in to panic... I turn to my knitting and stitching. Knitters and stitchers know that you have to just work on the piece one stitch at a time.

LOOK!! I finally finished that second pair of socks! Aren’t they COOL???!! This is all your fault, Barb!

With volleyball season underway, we spent last Saturday in Fredericton at a 15 and under Provincial Volleyball tournament with Erin. Smart, multitasking mother and illustrator that I am, I had already arranged a book signing at the Fredericton Chapters bookstore with the author of Owen and the Dinosaur, Paul Burns. I watched Erin’s first set of games and then snuck off for 2 hours to peddle our books. They sold very well!

On the way down in the car, I decided to start an Irish Moss pattern scarf. The texture of the wool and colour shading lent itself well to this motif. I was fine in the car and during the second set of games that I watched when I returned to the tournament... but then our team made it to the semifinals. Since I knit by feel, I can watch the game and knit at the same time... but I found that I was looking down to often to see which row I was on to keep the pattern working properly! So this scarf got stuffed down into my “Knitting Bag of Holding” (yes, I did play a LOT of D&D!) and out came another tempting colour and new needles for a second scarf to knit in “plain old knitting”. Love the colour!

I also learned that you can actually knit TWO socks at once!! I bought some wonderful sock yarn at the Purple Purl in Toronto and started to work on two socks from the same ball so that my tension would stay the same for both socks. I did promise myself that 2008 would be the year that I learned to knit socks and I am well on my way to being totally addicted.

Of course I did buy a new knitting project to take up to the retreat.... but you will have to wait until the next blog entry to find out what could tempt me away from my sock quest!

2008-10-26T20:43:00.001-03:00

Recharging Batteries...

If it hadn’t been for the CreativFestival and all the wonderful memories of last weekend, I doubt that I would have found the strength to get through this week. That... and having my sock to work on at the hospital helped.

Bethany is getting used to having the splint on her arm. It still hurts quite a bit and she found it hard to sit on the sidelines on Thursday when the rest of her class went swimming. Every grade 4 class in our school district gets 5 weeks of swimming as an extra gym event once during the year and Bethany will have to miss the last 2 sessions due to having her splint on her arm. At least we were able to remove it to bathe and wash her hair yesterday, but it felt very fragile to her and she was glad to have the support of the splint back on as soon as she was dry.

One of the girls on Erin’s team lost her father suddenly this week and so we had another visitation and funeral to go to. This has been the second girl close to her in age to lose a father figure in the past 5 weeks. She has been shaken by this since she can imagine all too well how she would feel if it were HER Dad. She’s kept a close eye on Nick during the week and keeps telling him to take care of himself.

Another young boy here in Moncton that used to attend Nick’s school decided to end his own life and that caused ripples for Nick to deal with among the staff who had taught him in the years just before Nick became Principal.

There were some bright moments as well. I spoke in the next community over from ours during a Writers In The Schools program and head off down to Riverside-Albert to speak to another Elementary school tomorrow. I love visiting with children and helping them understand what an illustrator does. They also get to “boss my hands around” as we draw a monster or silly picture together, which is always great fun.

Friday night, our family went to “Boo At The Zoo” put on by the Magnetic Hill Zoo as a fundraiser. They convert the zoo into haunted sketches with a fireworks show and almost a hundred volunteers. It was cold and crisp, but you could see so many stars in the sky as we waited in line with some of our best friends. I wore a long blond wig, a blue dress, a tiara and a huge wand... yes, I was the Size Fairy! Wearing my 3 inch heels, I got asked if I was on stilts a few times until they saw Nick dressed up as a huge pirate. Our best friend Karen dressed up as Jack Sparrow and had the walk and mannerisms down to a T! When one haunted house part got scary, she even pranced away like Jack causing the security guards to bust a gut!

It was wonderful to have all the great memories from the CreativFestival to savour though. Meals with good friends, pajama kit packing parties, getting the giggles in the dark, crying at a beautiful story from one of the class attendees that made the trials and tribulations of being a designer all feel worth it, sharing new projects with old friends, finding new craft supplies to fondle and inspire me and wandering the streets of a huge city then having the fun of flying back to the one that has truly become my home.

I just can’t wait for that “FALL BACK” hour of extra sleep next weekend!!

2008-10-20T23:10:00.001-03:00

From Highs To Lows...

I had a WONDERFUL, soul-recharging weekend teaching in Toronto, but woke up this morning with NO VOICE! I did the sensible thing and went back to bed once I got the kids off to school and slept most of the day.

Erin arrived home after school while Bethany stayed behind for the final practice of cross country running before the District meet tomorrow. When she and some of the other faster runners finished their laps, they were told to go and play on the playground equipment where Bethany fell from the monkey bars. The 3 hour visit to the hospital was really quite quick compared to some of our more recent visits and I had the presence of mind to grab my knitting on the way out the door, so the heel of my sock is almost done. Bethany has a buckle fracture to her LEFT wrist this time and will spend the next 3 weeks in a fiberglass splint.

Talk about coming back to reality with a bang!

I will blog more about everything tomorrow while I am home with her.

2008-10-15T22:49:00.002-03:00

Giving Thanks and Heading Off...

I meant to post here so many times in the past few days. We had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving weekend, full of sunshine and warm temperatures (compared to earlier in the week when I turned on the heat, broke out my mittens and put the duvet on the bed) and great food. Yet, I was snipping floss and proofing charts for the show in Toronto.

My taxi arrives in about 5 hours, so I will make this quick.

In these tough, uncertain times, it is more important than ever to focus on what we DO have instead of what we don’t.

Celebrate the talents that you have been given. I love to bake, but since I also love to eat my baking, I save it for special occasions like Thanksgiving.

Celebrate the beauty around you. We are SO blessed to have such colours just beyond our doorstep. Our whole family went for a walk to enjoy the beauty and take a break from floss snipping.

Celebrate the tiny miracles in life. Bethany was in awe of the tiny chickadees landing on her hand to feed. We live in a wonderful world and sometimes we forget to treasure what is around us.

Celebrate that we have enough to eat. We shared some bounty with this fuzzy fellow, but it is important for us to remember to share what we have with our fellow human beings who are struggling.

Celebrate Life’s adventures. This path is close to our house in Mapleton Park. I am heading off on an adventure of my own to teach at the CreativFestival in Toronto for the weekend and I can’t wait!!

I just hope I packed everything!

2008-10-02T08:57:00.001-03:00

Life in the Fast Lane...

The lyrics of Emmy Rossum’s “Slow Me Down” keep running through my head as I sit here at the computer wondering where on earth the month of September went.

Actually, I know where I spent most of it. In 9.5 days of supply teaching, I have earned more than my last 3 months of Hoffman cheques put together. This has sometimes meant such a diverse day as Kindergarten art in the morning where I discovered one little boy had quite an appetite for white glue to remedial English at the High School level in the afternoon on a warm, sunny day with teenager who would rather be anywhere but in the classroom with the student teacher. I was there to make sure that she didn’t get eaten alive and discovered that being 6’8” with my 3 inch heels on comes in handy.

My family is adjusting to the transition of having to come home to the house without me in it, to laundry piling up and meals in the slow cooker, but I no longer anguish when I take a full day to draw for my portfolio. Before, I used to sit in front of the paper and berate myself for costing my family money by spending hours on something that didn’t bring in a guaranteed income within 30 days.

I am loving the variety of supply teaching and the many different levels of classes that I get to visit. One hallway of Kindergarten and Grade One children at a new school yesterday is convinced that I am the tallest woman on earth! I may be falling into bed much earlier or pushing myself to stay up and design or snip floss for kits after hectic days, but at least the edge of panic that I spent the summer facing as I wrestled with what to do is wearing off.

The entire world economic climate seems to teeter on the edge of crisis on a daily basis as the news blares out to us about stock market crashes and losses in the billions.

What they fail to focus on is the resilience of the human spirit.

Our ancestors and much of the 3rd world would shake their heads at us for the hand wringing and teeth gnashing that we do in our land of plenty. For most of our human history, we made do with less. Pioneer women made toys out of scraps of cloth while we berate ourselves as we look ahead to the holidays and the list of expensive plastic toys or electronic gadgets on our children’s wish lists. We worry about cooking a meatless meal or two a week when stewed pumpkin or squash are often staples anywhere in our world when meat is scarce.

As a race, humans have encountered incredible challenges and hardships before.

As a generation or two right now, our society seems to believe that we should be able to have it all... no matter what. This relentless consumerism in the face of economic uncertainty is most obvious as I walk the corridors of the high schools doing lunch time duty as I listen to teenagers talk about the latest brand names they have to have or use their cellphones to check the time instead of wearing a watch. Few of them have any idea about what hardship really is. It was MY generation that had grandparents who went through hardships during the war or remembered the Great Depression, not theirs.

We need to remember just how resilient we are. Sometimes it may require hard work, being tired or moving out of our comfort zone. Any dream worth chasing will involve sweat and tears as well as laughter and joy.

Maybe there are still parts of our society that still need to learn this lesson. I know that I am stronger and happier for relearning it myself!

2008-09-24T20:22:00.001-03:00

The Fragility of Life...

Every now and then, there is a reminder of how precious and fleeting life can be. Yesterday, I was grumpy that I was running late for the Weight Watcher meetings that I lead on Tuesdays. I was down in the basement getting the tune Y.M.C.A loaded on to my iPod for the tie-in to how you can dance the pounds off, when suddenly there was a pounding on my side door. My neighbour was there with the tears streaming down her face because her husband had suddenly collapsed with some kind of seizure and she couldn’t turn him on his side as 911 had recommended. She is recovering from her own surgery not that many weeks ago. I raced over to do what I could and stayed until the fire and ambulance arrived. This afternoon, I learned that it was a massive brain hemorrhage and that he had passed away in his 40s.

My neighbour and I come from very different walks of life and backgrounds... and yet my heart goes out to her for her loss. Erin and her daughter are in the same class at school. It is far too easy for Erin to imagine what it would be like if something happened to Nick.

After a full day of teaching Kindergarten and having my legs hugged, I am also reminded of how much joy there can be in life as well. Working as a supply teacher is reminding me of just how deeply kids live in a state of wonder and learning. We would to well to learn from them!

It really is a wonderful and fearful cyclical dance we do through time as human beings. Perhaps it takes reminders now and then not to take anything for granted and to make the most of each moment!

2008-09-18T21:37:00.001-03:00

Be Careful What You Ask For....

I’m not really sure if I am coming or going, but this isn’t the first time that life has suddenly gotten chaotic. I remember when I first made the decision NOT to return to the ad agency where I had been working up until Erin was born. Nick and I weren’t sure if we could swing things with me working from home. We knew that his salary alone wouldn’t be enough to cover our expenses, so I set about taking on every logo, copy writing and translating job that I could find in order to bring in as much as I could to help. Often, that meant working every moment that Erin was asleep for a nap or even until the wee hours of the morning. I even did my second cross stitch trade show ever with her as an infant. We flew my sister to Charlotte from Vancouver, Nick manned the trade show booth to take orders and I ran back and forth between show and hotel depending on my 3 month old’s feeding schedule!

When Bethany was born 4 years and 5 days after her sister, things hadn’t changed all that much. I’d become established as a cross stitch designer... enough that I didn’t do any trade shows that summer due to “my newest release”, but I had sold the rights for 3 designs to a Brazilian magazine for $1500 US, hoping that would give me at least a month of maternity leave. Sadly, the magazine took the charts and slides then disappeared from the address they’d given me without ever sending their payment. Bethany learned to sleep against my chest as I worked at the computer during her “naps” since she would cry whenever she wasn’t held unless exhausted.

Since I began supply teaching, I have barely had any time off. This is good because I really do need to replace the income that had dropped over 300% in the past 2 years from cross stitch. This is also frustrating because my fingers are itching to work on 2 new drawings for my portfolio and the book dummy for “One Grumpy Dragon” which I intend to take with me to the SCBWI conference in New York at the end of January. Then of course there is floss to snip for the CreativFestival.

Like I said. Be careful what you ask for... you just might get it!

2008-09-10T23:04:00.003-03:00

Of Birthdays, Bunnies and Beautiful Memories...

Today was my 43rd birthday and it was WONDERFUL!

Slowly, but surely, my life feels as if it is moving into a sense of order and purpose instead of one of regret and denial. Birthdays, new school years or new calendar years are like new beginnings. It is like a new box of crayons where every point is sharp and none of your favourite colours have snapped in half yet.

Yesterday, at the end of my Weight Watcher meeting, the delivery man from our favourite local Flower Shop walked into the centre with a big grin on his face and an armful of flowers from my wonderful husband. It was a birthday gift a day early in front of an audience... the man knows how to earn those brownie points!!! After walking home feeling like Miss Canada clutching my bouquet and waving at those who honked their horns, I put the lovely flowers down on the counter for a moment to snap their picture before arranging them in a vase. Here they are with the cut flowers from my garden.

This morning, after getting everyone off to school, I went exploring along with my Mom and John. We drove off in search of a new wool shop that the knitters I know had been RAVING about. London-Wul Fibre Arts is the home of Heidi Wulfraat. Walking into her wool shop was a bit like dying and going to heaven. Everywhere I looked, there were colours, textures, needles, accessories to taunt me, beg me to touch them and bring them home.

Did I mention that I finished the sock?? As I start the mate, I am already dreaming of the next pair to knit and so I just HAD to go look at wool..... right? Yarn Harlot would approve...

There is something SO INSPIRING about the way colours and textures can mix and match. I know that is what drew me into designing needlework and what keeps me imagining some images in threads and fabric rather than pen and pencil. I actually can’t wait to teach in Toronto next month if the reaction to the limited “sneak peeks” I’ve been showing off are any indication.

I found new stuff for my stash... and bless her heart, Mom bought them for me as a birthday present! How great is that!

Then it was off to an art supply store to pick up some watercolours that I need to work on a new piece. Some of my old ones are all dried up. The owner of the store and his wife both did Fine Arts at Mount Allison University, just like I did... but I discovered that they graduated a DOZEN years after I did. OUCH!

After a delicious lunch, I dropped Mom & John back home then raced to the school to pick Erin and Bethany up for their cross-country running session at the big park in our city with their school team. Another mother was driving them home, so once I was sure they’d met up with the coach, I headed home to check e-mail and play a tiny bit of Packrat. Those of you on Facebook know what a fun little game this can be... those of you who don’t, be wary of the cuteness and collections that lure you in and get you hooked!

The girls arrived home and Bethany was limping, covered in blood down one knee and elbow. My youngest had discovered the perils of running up hills, around corners and that gravel paths are not always forgiving. I got her cleaned up in a warm bath and bandaged up before my birthday dinner with my family.

Erin made me cry with her 43 things that she admires about her Mom and Bethany’s handmade coupons for a clean room, a day off and ice cream she’d buy me with her own money made me grin. I have such wonderful girls!! They even bought me my very own Webkinz (or should I say LittleKinz?) Gecko which I have named “Sneaky”.

After supper we let the bunny out for a play. Oreo is adorable, extremely intelligent and downright entertaining. I tried to shoot some video of her as well as this shot, but it may be a few days before I figure out how to put it on YouTube!

Tomorrow, I have my first day of supply teaching. I got my Local Permit and am on the list in this area with now 4 days of bookings already. It will be great experience, a chance to work with kids (which helps for staying in touch with their interests as a children’s book illustrator) and also goes a long way to replacing the income my family used to count on from cross stitch.

Now it is time to go to bed. I am looking forward to this year of being 43 and all the new adventures that are unfolding.

YAHOOOOOOO! Theo won Canadian Idol!!

2008-08-29T20:52:00.001-03:00

To Be Creative... Instead of Destructive

Well, I finally figured out how to get a hold of people at the Chinese web site and get in to politely e-mail each person who had downloaded an illegal version of Santa’s Dragon. I told them how sad I thought it was that they thanked the person who shared it, complimented the design... but stole from the person who created it. Oddly enough, I am now locked out of that portion of the site, so I have sent a second request to the authorities to confirm that they have removed the files as requested.

While it made me sad and grumpy for the rest of that day, I found that the best solution was to do something creative. My dear friend Barb and Stephanie Pearl-McPhee a.k.a. Yarn Harlot have me totally hooked on knitting socks now. Barb sent me some lovely wool to tempt me through my initial fears of learning how to turn a heel. I am now on my second pair of socks ever and loving it!

I also spent more time sketching to keep my drawing hands limber and that made me realize something very important.

While it still makes me sad to think that some people consider it permissible to share patterns electronically and I begrudge the time it takes me to police or defend my work, in the end it is up to each of us how we live our lives with respect to the world around us.

I can honestly say that I have tried to be more creative than destructive. They may have the ability to steal my work... but I had the talent to create it in the first place.

Honest stitchers, crafters, knitters, artists, musicians and other creative souls know how much power there is in creating something of beauty and bringing it to life. When we add beauty to the world, care for our planet or treat each other with respect and love, then we are making the universe a better place one act of creation at a time.

2008-08-27T12:46:00.001-03:00

In case you wonder why....

It has been a busy time. I’ve been labeling school supplies, getting a new URL to add to my collection that will be the page I show to Art Directors for illustration samples, working on class stuff for the CreativFestival in October and sketching or drawing like crazy.

I’ve also applied for a Local Permit so that I can supply teach here in Monition. I can fill in for teachers in either French or English and hopefully this will help me contribute to our family’s bottom line again.

I have been getting e-mails from so many stitchers and hearing feedback from shops who have upset customers. I am sorry that many of you feel hurt that I won’t be designing as much. Lots of you have been VERY supportive as well as regretful.

I just need to feel passionate about what I am creating instead of sad and angry! Lately, so many of the infringers have been moving to chinese and russian sites because Picassa and Multiply are starting to know some of us by name .

This is the type of infringer that made me decide to scale back on designing and move on to other things. For the first time, I am actually going to share the link to a site of illegal patterns, just to show you why I made my decision.

Stealing Santa's Dragon

This person not only chose to steal my design and scan it in illegally, they even took the image from my website to promote it! All of the stitchers who wrote such positive comments about the design are going to stitch my largest and most complicated design for free. They will treasure it, pass it on and probably never think twice about the fact that they helped the designer to give up on something that she loved passionately, because it was just too easy to steal what she spent 14 months creating.

When I have to spend two days jumping through hoops to try to get my stuff removed from this site, knowing that the infringer still has the illegal files to share, I know that I made the right decision to move on...

I just wish it hadn’t hurt so many honest stitchers and loyal shop owners in the process.

2008-08-12T15:55:00.002-03:00

All About L.A. At Last!

Sometimes, when you have an overwhelming experience, it takes a while to sort through all of the information and feedback that crammed into your heart, mind and soul during the experience. It is only after putting a bit of time and space between you and the event, that you gain enough clarity to actually put your thoughts down into words.

I read over my blog entries from LA and see how full of energy they were, but I really felt as if I was flying by the seat of my pants. I am sorry if you felt like I left everything hanging... I felt a bit like that as I was living it!

So here is the calmer entry about the SCBWI conference in LA.

It was WONDERFUL!

If you are thinking about a career in children’s book writing or illustrating, then you need to belong to the SCBWI organization and you NEED to attend one of these events! I learned more in 4 days of speakers, presentations, workshops, critiques and networking opportunities that I could have in MONTHS or even YEARS of trying to learn this stuff on my own here in Moncton! Reading listings in trade publications or visiting publishers’ websites does not give you the same information that listening to them speak in person!

The hotel facilities were very nice too. I could have shown you pictures of my impressive marble bathroom. I could tell you that when I put down a preference for feather pillows, they piled 5 of them on the king-sized bed so that I could almost nest in them at night. I thought the picture that spoke for itself was the view from my lanai/balcony looking down towards Avenue of the Stars. This is as close as I got to the railing... the dragon does NOT do edges!

You know my adventures from Saturday morning of racing around to Kinkos trying to salvage my portfolio. I turned it in on time and then had to wait on pins and needles for the Portfolio exhibition that night. The lighting in the tent wasn’t the greatest for looking at artwork and the tables were a bit too close together, but other than that it was a wonderful chance to look at the over 100 portfolios that had been submitted. They represented a wide range of ages, nationalities and abilities as well as styles. I already knew in my heart by then that there was SO much I would do differently for the next time. When the winning portfolio and honorable mentions were announced Sunday during the banquet, I was pleased to see that 2 of the 3 were illustrators that I’d thought had outstanding portfolios.

My review with Mark Teague on Sunday pretty much confirmed what I had begun to suspect. I have 2 different styles of artwork that I do and one is going to be MUCH more marketable in the picture book industry than the other. The tighter style that I did for the Hanen Centre or the Nanny Kay book are considered more “textbook” style in the USA. Not that there isn’t a market for that type of thing... it just isn’t the same one as picture books. It was SO helpful to speak to an illustrator who has more experience in the industry, especially one that was so kind and helpful. The fact that I absolutely adore his work only made the feedback more meaningful!

Before you start feeling sorry for me, understand that criticism and feedback are a necessary part of growth. If you don’t learn, then you can’t improve. If I don’t “deadhead” my lilac trees after they bloom this year, I won’t have as much growth and beauty next year!

Best of all, I heard from some of the people that had been involved in looking at my work Friday night and then seen the changed portfolio for the exhibition, that they were impressed at how much I had responded to the feedback and improved upon how I presented my work. Just wait until NEXT time folks!

After the portfolio review on Saturday, came the “Paint the Town Red” party by the pool. Since wearing red makes me look like Mr. Spock with the flu, I opted for a great dress with fringes and sticking little maple leafs up my long legs! I also had a Canada lanyard and a Canada beach ball which I spent 15 minutes lobbing about the dance floor as a volleyball before my energy ran out and I crawled off to bed.

Sunday was a fun day full of great workshops and I felt much more relaxed with the portfolio review over. My critique with Mark covered most of my questions and affirmed the “battle plan” that I’d begun to map out by then. When the final speaker of the day turned out to be something relating to Young Adult novels, I decided to skip the session and see a bit of L.A! Having just stuck my toes in the Atlantic ocean the week before, I decided that the highest priority on my list was seeing the Pacific ocean, so off I headed to Santa Monica! I sat and sketched on the beach in the late afternoon sun for almost an hour, bought a few tacky little souvenirs for my girls, shot a few photos and then wandered across the street to a wonderful Japanese restaurant that was surviving specially priced sushi for Happy Hour!! Yummmmm!

I walked around the area for another hour or so, marveling at all the outdoor shopping areas (where we Canadians need indoor malls!) and even taking photos of the cool Californian plants! Then I headed back to the hotel in time for the evening peer critiques.

By this point, I had decided to get as much feedback, ask as many questions as possible and make the most of every opportunity left at the conference, so I decided to sit in on a WRITERS circle to critique the picture book manuscript that I have written called “One Grumpy Dragon”. I was absolutely TERRIFIED of reading it aloud to the group because I still don’t think of myself as a writer. I’m more of an illustrator who created a story so that I could draw the pictures to go with it!

The feedback was VERY encouraging! They pointed out a few places where I needed to tighten the story or move things around that improved the whole flow of the fantasy counting book. I went back up to my hotel room that night and changed the story around, rewrote a few of the lines and had a new manuscript by the morning. I was even able to touch base with two of the members from that critique group to see if the new changes helped... and the feedback was great.

Monday was a blur of last workshops, exchanging e-mails and business cards with new friends and closing speeches. Then we had a wonderful autograph session with faculty members whose books had been available all weekend at the SCBWI bookstore. Do you think the dragon came home with more books in her hoard??? Let’s just say that I was quite relieved to find my luggage still under the weight restrictions!

Here is a photo of me with David LaRochelle. David was one of the first people I met at the conference when we shared a shuttle to the hotel on Thursday. If you have never read his INCREDIBLE Fantasy picture book called “The End”, you need to look it up at the library or find it on Amazon. It is SO clever and such fun to read!! I also bought a copy of his hilarious book “The Best Pet Of All” where a little boy invites a dragon home to live with him so that his mom will realize that a dog is a much better choice!

Monday night was full of suitcase packing and having dinner with some of the friends that I’d made over the 4 days at the mall food court near the hotel. It was reaffirming to discover that I wasn’t the only one who felt as if my brain had been crammed full of information to the bursting point!

I reserved a spot for myself on the 5:30 am shuttle and went to bed. Around 3 am, I woke to the sounds of multiple sirens and voices over a loudspeaker. A quick peek out my window revealed this scene across the street....

Someone later told me that this is the Screen Actor’s Guild building, but I don’t know if that is true. Apparently there was a small fire somewhere in the building, but it involved massive amounts of fire trucks, ambulances, two helicopters with spotlights.... and one dragon who decided to just get dressed then try to doze until my alarm went off.

Needless to say, I was a bit groggy by the time I got home to Moncton at 10:30 pm AST on Tuesday night. I was actually quite civil when my family got up and on the road to Bangor, Maine by 6:30 am the next morning for our 48 hour back to school shopping trip.

Now that FTP access to my ISP is working and I’ve been able to upload my photos as well as ruminate about the trip, I hope you feel more in touch with all the dragon’s adventures.

Believe me.... this is only the beginning!

2008-08-08T22:00:00.001-03:00

Home... Off... and Back Again!

I promise I will update everything tomorrow. The rest of the conference was an amazing whirlwind of information and the flights home were very long. I got home late Tuesday night and took off with my family for a 48 hour back-to-school shopping expedition to Maine!

We got home tonight and are tucking the girls into bed, peeking at the opening ceremonies for the Olympic Games, sorting out the laundry mountains and downloading all the e-mail.

I will update things tomorrow before my sister arrives with her husband for a week!

2008-08-02T16:47:00.002-03:00

When The Going Gets TOUGH... The Dragon Hunts for Kinko's!

Talk about a roller coaster of emotion. I just turned in my portfolio for tonight's portfolio review competition and it bears absolutely NO resemblance to the portfolio that I brought down in my carry-on!

All of yesterday's sessions were incredibly informative, overwhelmingly helpful, impressive and inspiring. It was affirming to be with almost 1000 people who work in the children's book industry or hope to one day.

Everyone has been so gracious in answering pesky questions from the very tall Canadian dragon!

The Professional Track luncheon gave me incredible insight into how an Editor's mind works, how hard their job is when they go to bat for a book to the marketing and sales departments of the publishing houses etc. I'd never looked at things from their point of view before.

At last night's wine and cheese reception, I was lucky enough to have Bruce Coville ask to see my portfolio in reference to a comment about dragons vs. unicorns. He pointed out which images were my strongest and told me that I should move things around in the portfolio so that my strongest images were at the very front for the judges, editors and art directors who will be walking through the exhibition to see. They have a lot to look at and will only have a few glances at best.
GREAT ADVICE from someone who has been in this industry a LOT longer than I have. I just felt a little nervous taking ART advice from a writer! (Silly Dragon!!)

After that, we had a gathering just for illustrators with Cecilia Yung (Art Director and VP at Penguin Young Readers), Freida Gates (who puts together key events in NY for SCBWI) and Dilys Evans, Art Buyer. The session talked about what works in self-promotion and what doesn't, what editors/buyers/art directors look for in portfolios etc. Again, I heard that you only have a FEW images to grab them with... and the worry in my stomach turned to full blown terror. I was able to ask a wonderful woman to look through my portfolio to see if she agreed with Bruce... and she even called Dilys over to look at a few of our books and offer advice.

By 10:30 at night (2:30 am back home) I walked up to my room almost in tears, but determined to make the changes I needed to before turning in my portfolio. Out came all my little explanation tags. As they pointed out, the pictures need to stand on their own. Out came my first page promo slick and in went the image that had made them all laugh "The Fear of the Blank Page!"

I then swallowed my pride and divided my portfolio into two sections - one for the contest tonight with my strongest images in it, and the back half of my portfolio with the tighter Hanen Centre, Owen and more detailed illustrations in what they called my "more textbook illustration style". If I pick up work from publishers like that, that works too.

Then... I went to sleep around 11:30 California time.

I woke up at 5:00 am here (9:00 am back home) from a dream of reading to a dragon. I grabbed my sketchbook and the only 2 pencils I had and began to draw a new spot illustration to introduce the Children's Book section of my portfolio. I inked and coloured a little picture of a teddy bear with a backpack on and offering an apple in one paw then coloured it will the coloured pencils I brought along. I also called home to talk to Nick and the girls because hearing my family's voices reminded me of why I am here and who I am doing this for.

The time was now 7:30 am. I showered, dressed, grabbed some stuff from my little fridge and went down to find out if the business centre would be open early.

It wasn't.

So another illustrator and I jumped into a cab and drove to the nearest Kinko's.

THANK GOODNESS for Kinko's!!

There, I was able to make colour copies of the little bear, a two page spread from Just Nanny and Me that they felt was strong, print out some new computer text titles for the two new sections, use their paper trimmer, buy some double-sided scrapbook tape and jump back into the waiting cab. We made it back JUST as the first session of the morning started at 8:45 am!!

While I believe in my artwork and my own personal style, I also know that the wisdom I received last night and my willingness to rearrange stuff, simplify and play editor may have just saved me from being totally dismissed as "not ready to play in the big leagues."

I am a bit punchy, a bit trembly... but I honestly believe that I am MUCH stronger for this drastic pruning experience. I am also incredibly grateful to have had access to such experience and input BEFORE the competition tonight. Having seen some of the other artwork here, I am sure I don't even stand a chance of winning the top prize, but I have heard so many stories of how shows like this have led to publishers matching people up or providing that first chance... that winning the contest isn't everything. Getting my samples into the hands of so many top people in the industry is.

Time to go eat some lunch... you can only run on adrenaline for so long!!!

2008-08-01T12:19:00.002-03:00

JUMPING UP AND DOWN WITH EXCITEMENT!

I arrived safely in Los Angeles yesterday just before lunchtime local time and got a shared shuttle van to the hotel. There were lots of conference attendees in the van to meet and share names with, one of whom named David LaRochelle who writes the most wonderful books!! I found his at the SCBWI book sale this morning and bought two called "THE END" which is a fairy tale told backwards and "The Best Pet Ever" about a boy who has a dragon move in as his pet in order to convince his mother that a dog would be better! Google them! look them up on Amazon! They are AWESOME!!

There is a mall close to the hotel that has a grocery store and a food court, so I was able to request a fridge for the room and pick up some food to keep there. California prices are just a WEE bit more expensive that Moncton ones! Sadly the delicious Yoplait Fat Free Yogurt here has more Potasium Sorbate than my allergy could handle... so I will be looking for someone who wants the other 4 hiding in my fridge!

This morning, I woke at 1:30, 3:30 and 5:30 local time. The 3rd time I just got up and wrote in my journal for a bit.

At 7:30, I was bright-eyed and bushy tailed in the registration area picking up my name tag and conference information. Here's where the Jumping up and down with Excitement part comes in...

Sunday Morning, my one on one portfolio review will be with Mark Teague!! Google him and just look at how lovable he makes his T-Rex and other dinosaurs or how he uses dramatic composition and you'll understand why I am OVER THE MOON! If there was one brain that I wanted to pick at the conference, it would be his!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

Back down to the conference opening and keynote speaker... but I had to get on and write this for everyone to read. Sorry about the spelling mistakes if there are any. I had to write this right in Blogger!

Skipping off with my dragon claws barely touching the ground.....

2008-07-30T22:28:00.001-03:00

LOS ANGELES HERE I COME!

I am so excited I could burst...

I am so nervous I could barf...

I don’t know how much sleep I will get between the end of “So You Think You Can Dance” at 11 pm and the taxi arriving at 4:15 am, but I am all packed and ready to go.

Time to chase my dream!

2008-07-29T14:16:00.006-03:00

IT’S NOT AS BAD AS YOU THINK!

Ok... I look a little like this dragon as I race around to get my portfolio wrapped up and get packed for Los Angeles. I just need to remind myself to take a deep breath now and then and trust in what I can do and in following my dream.

My iTunes mix right now consists of my two theme songs for this summer. Both songs have words that I have mumbled and sung to myself over and over. The first is Walk On The Moon by Great Big Sea and the second is One Step At A Time by Jordan Sparks. I will be humming them in my head all weekend in Los Angeles any time I get nervous!

It helped that a good friend who is an award-winning graphic designer came over last night and looked at my portfolio to see what needed to be moved around, edited etc. He had some very valuable insights and also pointed out some strengths I hadn’t realized about the work that I’d put together....

So now I feel a little calmer than I did when I drew this yesterday morning!

Of course this dragon can also apply to many of you who read my blog and visit my website...

IT’S NOT AS BAD AS YOU THINK!!

There has been a wonderful flood of e-mails, messages, condolences etc. pouring in... and many of you seem to be grieving because you think I won’t be designing anything or selling my existing designs or creating any large designs or doing anything except teach in person.....

I tried to make things clear in my blog and on the website, but maybe I’d better clear up a few points of confusion.

1) I don’t own a shop and I am not going out of business! There is a WONDERFUL store right here in Moncton that will continue to carry and sell my stuff. I will also continue to sell my existing designs to shops through Hoffman and directly to shops that I deal with. You don’t have to worry that stuff will suddenly go out of print! If I do run out of any inventory of OLDER designs, those will be transferred to PatternsOnline.com so that they can still be enjoyed by stitchers around the world.

2) I am not quitting designing completely! I have spent a great deal of the past 15 years focussed on cross stitch, but just because my focus is changing a bit does not mean that a design won’t creep into my head and demand to be stitched instead of painted. Some images that I have created could ONLY have come to life through needle and thread. I doubt that will change... it just may not be as often as fans would like.

3) Having new designs on PatternsOnline.com won’t mean that they will all be small ones... just look at some of Teresa Wentzler’s designs on there!!

If you could see how crowded my poor 10 x 10 self-store is, you’d understand why I need to stop SELF-PUBLISHING cross stitch patterns for now. There is only so much room to store things, especially with a dozen or so cases of Owen & The Dinosaur books in there too!

To all those who sent messages telling me how much my designs have meant to you over the years... THANK YOU! The biggest joy for any artist is to know that they created something that touched another person in some way. That isn’t going to stop until my head and my hands aren’t capable of making pretty pictures anymore.

So Don’t Panic! Trust me... I’ve been doing enough of that for everyone!

2008-07-22T21:44:00.001-03:00

Can Every Artist Relate?

I finished off another piece for my portfolio tonight. I came up with this idea after a huge panic attack last week at the cottage where I dreamed I showed up for my portfolio review late in L.A. because someone had given me the wrong room number. When I finally arrived after running through long, strange hallways, the person in the room told me that I shouldn’t dream of being a professional illustrator if I couldn’t even keep a simple appointment! As I woke up with my heart pounding, I knew that it was just a standard anxiety dream (like before exams in high school or university) but sleep escaped me so I got up to write in my journal for a while... then got the inspiration for this piece.

Since I needed to have at least one drawing in my portfolio that was greyscale, I used everything from a 4H to 8B pencil for as wide a range of tone as possible. I also had fun choosing textures for each fear. I particularly like the oozing drips for Copyright Abuse... since anyone who would steal that way is Slime!

Perfectionism and Envy of Other’s Talents are two of the fears that I wrestle with most often, so of course they had to be slightly dragon or snake like... and Self-Doubt’s fur was fun to draw!

I am sure that any creative soul can relate to this...

2008-07-21T21:36:00.004-03:00

Excited About My New Adventures...

June was a total blur. Creating 13 detailed drawings for a client in less than 4 weeks when each drawing went through several changes was tough on the hands but great experience! It will also be nice when the cheque arrives in the mail! My illustrations will grace the 2009 calendar produced by The Hanen Centre and be a great addition to my portfolio! I can’t show off details just yet, since I did sell the copyrights to the client, but here’s a peek at the pile of drawings and the CD I burned of the final artwork before I sent them all off!

Drawing for someone else also gave me time to think as my hands did the work. Unplugging and getting away with my family also helped afterwards as I went for long walks on the beach, watched fabulous sunsets and had time to think about which path I need to follow right now.

I’ve made my decision and posted all the details on the summer issue of my website newsletter for stitchers to read. I don’t want everyone to think of this as an ending, it is just a transition into something else... something that is calling my heart a lot more right now.

It isn’t as if I’ll never design again, I just won’t be publishing my own work after DD-100. I will still come up with some surprise designs now and then, have stuff in magazines or teach classes at fabulous shows like CreativFestival and then make those available later on PatternsOnline.com The numbers from my corporate return were just too stark to keep ignoring, so it is time for the Dragon to put most of her energy into illustration right now.

To that end, I even added a new part to my website! The Sketchbook page is going to be somewhere that I can keep sketches, show off stuff as it is being created or explain to people the process that is involved with bringing an image to life.

There are 10 days until I leave for Los Angeles and the SCBWI conference. I am being really careful not to hurt my back or strain things before such a long flight and my family is starting to think a am a TOTAL wimp for not wanting to lift anything! Hey... I think it is a great way to avoid laundry baskets, grocery bags etc. Before you think I am goofing off completely, let me assure you - I do all the hanging or putting away... just not the lifting!

I am busy finishing off the last few illustrations for my portfolio and going over each selection to make sure that I am taking along my very BEST samples. This gets a little hard to do when the butterflies in your tummy keep turning into DRAGONS... but that even gave me ideas for an image that I’ll post as soon as it is penciled. It is called “Fear of the Blank Page” and I am sure that every artist there will be able to relate.

Here’s a peek at one of the drawings for a storybook about a little bunny looking for a home and the Japanese legend of the rabbit in the moon. It was created on textured scrapbook paper with coloured pencil and chalk, then I gave the moon some extra glow thanks to Photoshop. What fun!

Even though I am both excited and terrified about L.A., I know that it is the right step to take. I need to know if this can be the next adventure for the Dragon... Whether I make them with chalk or floss, pencil or braid, it is still about making images that touch people. I hope that will never change!

I hope you'll join me as the path winds down a slightly different road than before...

2008-07-12T10:07:00.001-03:00

The Dragon Is On Vacation!

After a few frantic e-mails while I was checking things remotely, I thought I’d better post something here quickly so that you know the dragon isn’t dead!

June was an incredibly busy month with a HUGE illustration project, school ending and Mom going in and out of the hospital a few times. Our family has escaped for some MUCH needed R & R and time together. Once we get back, I will update the site and the blog because Dragon Dreams is about to move off into some new adventures.

Don’t worry... Be Happy...Stich and Laugh and Love. The Dragon just needed to hunker down in her cave for a while to figure some things out. Now she’s out playing in the sunshine that she dreamed of all winter long!

2008-06-06T09:32:00.004-03:00

Forgotten... Not Forgotten...

It’s Illustration Friday in more ways than one! I was scanning in another batch of pencil sketches for a client to get a jump on Toronto (since I am one hour AHEAD of EST) and have them waiting on the clients e-mail when she gets in this morning. Because of a confidentiality clause in my agreement with them, I can’t post the images in progress. That’s a bit frustrating, but at least I will be able to show the work off when it is all done!

The topic on Illustration Friday today was FORGOTTEN and I just couldn’t resist using one of my favourite designs that I created in cross stitch called NOT FORGOTTEN. This is somewhat bittersweet because today, June 6th, I had planned to be in Columbus setting up at the TNNA show. I had to pull out just over a month ago for health reasons. My back just isn’t up to the travel and lifting involved right now. I’ve even had to learn to get up from drawing to take breaks so that nothing locks. Ask any artist how hard that is when you are just trying to get something to look just right.

Creativity requires that balance with discipline. You cannot just wait until inspiration hits or your hands may not be ready to interpret that vision. I know that in sessions like this where I am drawing for hours and hours each day, my hands respond much better than if I go a day or two without practicing my craft. Being creative is as essential to me as breathing, but I sometimes get caught up in other excitements and forget that drawing was my first love.

Cross stitch became a wonderful way, just over 16 years ago, for me to bring illustrations and ideas to life with thread instead of watercolour or pencil. Then, I would create the patterns to let other stitchers all around the world enjoy stitching up their own versions.

Since many designers had done their own versions of a Noah’s Ark design, I wanted my version to include all of the fantasy creatures I felt should have been on that boat. Chalk it up to an early exposure to Peter, Paul and Mary or the Irish Rovers. Dragons and Unicorns and other magical creatures will always be part of my world, even when I don’t include them in my drawings... but they certainly took over in this one!

Sadly, the patterns themselves have become the easiest part of the stitching experience to steal. Instead of respecting the time and energy that it took to create such a design to share with the world, there are unscrupulous people out there who feel it is their right to scan in a pattern and share it with friends electronically or post it to groups of hundreds of people. We have been shutting down HUNDREDS of groups in the past 3 months alone and it does get a bit frustrating at times. What part of “Thou Shalt Not Steal” is confusing? What makes anyone think that something an artist creates should be “Free” if they see it on the web?

Those of us in art have chosen a risky profession. We share our imagination, our creativity and a little piece of ourselves in every image we create. Just because it looks like something fun and wonderful doesn’t make it any less Work. Just because society isn’t sure how creativity should be valued doesn’t mean we don’t deserve the chance to try to make a living from this without our work being stolen or copied.

Think about how boring our world would be if no one took the risk of being creative. Please think about that before you download, scan, share or use anything without an artist’s permission.

2008-05-23T09:50:00.002-03:00

Today’s topic for Illustration Friday was WORRY...

It is so easy to fall into that trap, especially with my Mom back in the hospital. Think of all the time we waste each day worrying about things that may never come to pass.

I dug out this cartoon that I’d posted on my blog a while back. When we worry about looming deadlines, it really can feel like something is lurking just behind us.

Today, that is getting my office back to rights. I’ve been meaning to do a “grand tidy” ever since the book launch happened and yet I always seem to get caught up in a new drawing or business task. Yesterday I took all of the piles from my floor and put them out in the family room. Then I pulled apart my closet where all of the cross stitch models and patterns are stored. If any of the patterns had dents or dings in them, I just ripped them up and threw them out. (I can hear some of you screaming “I’ll take them!” in the background)

The truth is that my accountant has had to write most of that stock off anyway. I can even tell how much of an effect the people sharing things illegally have had on certain designs because I’m just not selling as many of those patterns anymore compared to other ones. I had a nice little venting session as I ripped the leaflets to pieces imagining that it was something precious the thieves needed... like income tax refunds, power bills or winning lottery tickets. Petty and childish of me, but it felt good.

I have learned that when I work in clutter or surround myself with too much clutter, it has a draining effect on my spirit. That’s totally different that spreading out pencils or paper or yarns or threads to get inspired by stuff. It’s the pile of papers that you meant to sort and then can’t find something important when you need it that wears me down.

I can see progress. Thanks to plastic bins and my label maker, my closet is almost done and things are getting away in their proper places.

With each pile I tidy, the dragon looming behind me gets a little smaller.

Once I am done and he is pocket-size, we will go out and play!

Don’t Worry... Be Happy... It’s FRIDAY!

2008-05-16T12:48:00.002-03:00

I belong to a group called Illustration Friday that puts forth a topic each week for illustrators to work with. Some create new illustrations and other rummage through their portfolios. Today’s topic was WIDE... and so I went digging for one of my favourite illustrations to submit.

My Nanny LOVED hippos. I blame it on seeing Disney’s Fantasia when it was first released in theaters because real hippos are not nearly as cute. For whatever reason, she fell in love with them and that gave all of us who loved her a chance to hunt for hippo figurines to give her at Christmas. One winter when I was over for a visit, she was watching the neighbours children make snow angels next door. She mused aloud about hippos making snow angels... and that artist supernova went off in my brain. I painted this for her as a gift and when she passed away, it came back to my portfolio.

I now use this photo when I speak to school children about illustrators needing to use their imaginations. You cannot borrow a real hippo from the zoo. Zookeepers won’t let you do that. You cannot convince a warm, mud-loving hippo to roll around in snow. It is cold... VERY cold. So, you have to use your imagination and think of how the illustration would look. How big is a hippo? Is it bigger and heavier than a field mouse or a bunny? You bet! After all this discussion, I show the kids the picture and usually get more laughter from the teachers than the kids. THIS hippo looks proud of her Oooomph!

That’s why I chose it for the topic WIDE.

Now back to working on my drawing for a new client who found me through my web site. The Internet can certainly be both a help and a hindrance as this week has proven in spades!

2008-05-14T10:13:00.001-03:00

Not Such A Typical Morning...

It seemed like it was going to be such a simple morning. I’d put the kids on the bus, gone for a brisk walk in the woods near our home with a friend and returned home to check e-mail quickly before starting my day.

It the kind of e-mail that anyone, especially this dragon, hates to open. An e-mail from a concerned fan that had found something suspicious that seemed to be infringing on the copyrights of the patterns I create. She sent me the links to check it out for myself.

No matter how often this has happened in the past 10 years, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach remains the same. To see designs that you took hours of time and energy to create being traded at the click of the mouse make me feel absolutely sick inside. It makes me want to scream and cry.

I used to want to just crawl into my cave and lick my wounds and wonder why anyone would want to hurt me like that. Why couldn’t they understand that sharing a pattern electronically by making a copy of the original is stealing?

Somewhere along the line... the dragon got grumpy. Grumpy Dragons aren’t much fun to be around. They smolder and tend to want to bite people.

I stopped designing monthly samples for my web site even though it was the honest stitchers that ended up being punished.

I started speaking out and setting up blogs on sites like Multiply to have a presence out there in cyberspace and stand up for the fact that this is NOT right and this should NOT be acceptable.

I stopped sending out patterns to shops or guilds that requested them for retreats as often because I had no way of knowing that those wouldn’t end up scanned or being sold on ebay.

I started working with other designers and stitchers to find ways of reporting copyright violations as a group instead of individually so that we could close sites faster than before.

I stopped releasing as many new designs because they kept getting stolen so quickly.

I started to find other sources of income and put my energy into new directions as my income from cross stitch fell to less than 50% and then less than 30% of what it had been just 5 years before.

I stopped being surprised every time I heard that an independent needlework store had to close its doors to stitchers and go out of business.

I started to realize that this problem is much bigger than just the cross stitch industry. I started to understand that if we don’t place any value on creative ideas or intellectual property as a society and remain focussed on getting things as cheaply as possible or downloading them for “free” rather than paying for them, that eventually, our world will be a far richer place to live.

2008-05-09T21:25:00.001-03:00

She Tried Her Best...

I survived the trip to Fredericton and back with Erin. She did really well, but not enough to place in the top 3. The girl who placed 3rd in our District 2 competition had one of those glorious days where everything went so well and she poured her heart into the competition, aced the impromptu question and won the entire competition. Erin was happy for her and gracious about the medal and other participation prizes. On the ride home, she admitted to being disappointed that she couldn’t bring a trophy home for her school, but I explained that to make it to the top 15 in the province was still QUITE the accomplishment...

and then I got lost trying to leave Fredericton.

We got home by 6 pm, fed her and have tucked her in for the night. She needs to be at the volleyball tournament for 7:15 am, so I am off to bed shortly behind her. All the driving and then sitting most of the day have made me really, really sore... but she was worth it.

How to I explain to her how proud I am for just trying? Perhaps she’ll understand some day when she watches her own child attempt something. It isn’t always about winning. Sometimes, it is just about the experience life offers you... to take a risk and reach for that star or not attempt because you might not place first.

I am SO proud of her!

2008-05-08T14:15:00.001-03:00

Knowing What Needs To Come First...

When the going gets tough... sometimes I just get quiet. I don’t like it when my blog is full of complaining. There’s not enough cheese to go with all that whining!

My pinched nerve has flared up again with a vengeance. It has hurt to sit at the computer for too long, sit and stitch or sit and draw. After almost 3 months of getting better, I feel as if I have taken 2 giant steps back. I am wondering now if I didn’t begin to lift more things and exercise a bit harder or push my drawing and stitching times a bit longer because I was feeling so much better. For whatever reason, I am in pain again.

So... when the TNNA organizers contacted me about low class registration for the 2 classes I’d agreed to teach in Columbus, it brought all my doubts of being able to handle the show to the forefront. Since Wheat was also going through health issues of her own, it made me take a long hard look at what I had to put first. I chose my family and my health. If I don’t take care of my health, then everything else falls apart. I’ll just have to save the designs I’d hoped to unveil until closer to the CreativFestival in the fall!

Family has certainly been at the center of everything lately!

My brother and his family came over from Switzerland for a week during their spring break to visit Mom and John since they had to cancel their April trip to Geneva because of Mom’s health. My girls had 3 days off school for professional days, so it was perfect time to let the cousins just play and spend time together. When family lives that far apart, you have to make the most of each visit.

Nick is getting back to being himself, even though this is a hectic time of year. With less than 35 days before school ends and planning for next year’s teaching assignments, staffing, portables being added over the summer, budgets etc. he’s been spending a lot of time at work or on his laptop at home. It’s nice to have my Tigger back!

Tuesday night both girls performed in their school Cabaret show. Bethany did her part in the play for one last time in front of a packed house of parents and Erin sang a duet with her partner from the music festival. Every other night this week, Erin has been out at volleyball practice because the Eastern Nationals for volleyball begin tomorrow. Opening ceremonies are tonight and then we see if she has an early game tomorrow morning. It her team is down for an 8 am game then she can probably play once before we drive to Fredericton for the Provincial Middle School Oratory competition!

Erin has to represent our school district, after placing first here, for the Middle School provincial competition held at St. Thomas University. I’ve never driven to Fredericton on my own before, so it will be a bit scary. I am used to being the knitting passenger, the snack organizer and iPod tune-changer. Erin’s volleyball team will miss her for their first games, but she’ll be playing all day Saturday and any late Friday games that are scheduled. She’s really learned how to use her height to block things and her team affectionately calls her “The Wall”! I was so upset with both things ended up being on the same weekend (Nick is also serving at our church pancake breakfast all Saturday morning). Erin’s teachers felt that since she WON the District competition, she needed to be in Fredericton instead of one of the alternates. Luckily, Erin’s volleyball coach agreed with the plan.

Now if I can just keep from getting lost when we drive down tomorrow, I’ll be fine. I’ve already warned Erin that we’ll take stretch breaks whenever I need them!

2008-04-24T00:13:00.003-03:00

HAPPY DRAGON’S DAY!!!

Ok... it is actually St. George’s Day, but my family decided that it should be Dragon’s Day instead! Why does the dragon always have to be the one to get picked on? We also felt like we had a lot to celebrate, even if Nick was battling a bad cold.

Last week, Bethany did a marvelous job as the tall Egret in “Once Upon A Lily Pad” for the District 2 Drama Festival.

Monday night, Erin won the District 2 Oratory Competition and I finally got a picture of her with the medal downloaded.

Bethany also visited the local SPCA to take in all of the animal food, kitty litter, toys and cash that she received instead of birthday presents at her party. They made up a nice certificate to present to her to thank her for her generosity and is already thinking about what charity to help out next year!

So... back to Dragon’s Day. Bethany and I decorated the dining room with some of our stuffed dragons.

My mom got REALLY inventive for this meal and moulded the meat loaf into tiny dragon shapes before she cooked them! Of course this meant that when we put them on our plates, we just had to add some ketchup and mustard flames.... right?

My stepfather, John, got even more creative... his dragon is also pooping out HP sauce!
(Glad that wasn’t on MY plate! Eeeeeewwww!)

The only hard moment was after grace when Bethany picked up her knife and fork only to realize that she had to cut the cute little dragon meat loaf to eat her dinner!

Oh well... maybe a few dragons did fall to the sword on St. George’s Day... but they were delicious!

2008-04-17T20:06:00.000-03:00

What Makes You COOL....

It was a beautiful day here in Moncton with temperatures finally getting up to 19 degrees (that’s into the 60s!) which felt WONDERFUL after this long winter.

I was standing at the bus stop this morning to get my kids on the bus and discovered that I have gone WAY up in the estimation of two of the kindergarten boys that get on at the same bus stop as Erin & Bethany. Apparently, the dinosaurs that I drew at Queen Elizabeth yesterday REALLY impressed them. Draw a few fangs and sharp claws and suddenly, I am right up there with Batman. Ok... maybe not quite that high, but it was fun to discover the priorities of a 5 year old male.

Another mother came over to tell me that her daughter had been very impressed with the Illustrator that came to the school yesterday, but the mother hadn’t put two and two together until she overheard my conversation with the two boys. “I thought you did that stitchy thingy?” she said sounding a bit puzzled. I hid my grin.

Nick called a few minutes ago to let me know that the photo of me is on the District 2 web site. Pretty cool... even if I can shoot webs from my hands!

2008-04-16T21:48:00.002-03:00

When Worlds Collide...

I am finally surfacing to take a breath! This was supposed to be three separate blog entries, but even getting my computer turned on in the past 5 days has been a rarity, so with three different titles and subsections, here’s a glimpse into the chaos of my life:

The Joy of Learning Something New...

Thanks to a wonderful friend named Barb, I am totally addicted to a new pastime. I am trying to learn how to knit a sock. Sock experts will laugh, but I am still in the feverish thrill of learning a new skill.

First, Barb sends me a box of lovely yarn and needles to tempt me. She figured that after the “excitement” of the past month, I deserve a little pampering and torture all rolled into one exquisite experience. Bless you, Barb, I haven’t had this much fun since I learned to cross stitch!

Of course the first time I cast on my stitches and started to knit, I started going backwards somehow and inside out, but my mother quickly set me straight. She couldn’t help with the knitting part since she and I have TOTALLY different tensions. I am a VERY tight stitcher. I always have to go up at least a size or two in needles to keep from creating things in miniature.

Learning how to hold this little porcupine handful of 5 needles was also a bit of a challenge. Nick found it so hilarious that he took my picture. I hate being photographed in my jammies, so I’ve cropped the heck out of the picture, but .... honest... I AM having fun.

My knitting, when learning something new (ie. anything other than fluffy scarves) is just a tiny bit faster than my stitching. Think of a turtle racing towards you blindfolded through molasses.... I am a little bit faster than that.

But I am having a BLAST! I finally finished the little bit of ribbing and moved on to the stockinette stitch. Here’s my sock so far. Laugh and the dragon will bite you!

The Launch of A Book...

When the author and I first decided to hold the book launch at the Magnetic Hill Zoo, we picked the second week of April because the Zoo was opened on weekends and we thought we might pick up a lot of people passing by as well as the people we bribed (ok... more like begged, pleaded and blackmailed) to show up for the book launch.

By the middle of last week, the temperatures were soaring into double digits and Maritimers were almost giddy as the snow melted around us. I saw neighbours out walking that I haven’t spoken to in almost 5 months. It was a LONG winter with drifts higher than Nick and I in many places. Wonderful, we thought. All the animals will be out and people will want to spend a warm spring day up at the zoo.

It snowed Saturday. Not just a few fluffy white flakes. Almost an INCH of the icky white stuff fluffed its way out of the sky and onto the city. The zoo animals were smart. They hid inside. We were inside too, but as the snow grew heavier around noon, Paul and I began to worry about the really important things.... Who was going to eat all the cake?

Luckily, we have a lot of terrific friends and a supportive community. People braved the slippery roads to come up to the book launch.

They brought me flowers, chatted, designed their own dinosaurs and got us to sign books.

Sue even made little blue dinosaurs for each of us. What talent!

I even ended up on the evening news for a quick 30 second promo spot!! Since absolutely NO ONE came to the zoo itself, they were VERY glad that we gave them a dollar from every book sold for the Year of the Frog. The leftover cake went to church with me the next day...

What Else Needs To Be Done...

Now amid all the excitement of the book launch, radio & newspaper interviews, my daughters decided that a little extra pressure might make my life more interesting. Erin had a group project to work on that required friends being over at our house painting a model, writing a speech in French and I also had to listen to her practice her Persuasive Speech on a given topic for a contest at school.

Bethany has been practicing for her role as the lead Egret in “Once Upon A Lily Pad”, a sweet musical that the grade 3-4s were putting on this week at the Drama Festival. Like an idiot, I had filled out the form months ago saying that I would help with costumes. Guess when they needed to be made? Yup, I spent most of Friday and Sunday nights on the living room floor with white garbage bags for egret wings, making turtle shells out of green garbage bags, wire, newspaper and green fabric or painting shadows onto flower petals for costumes. Am I just totally insane or stuck with that super mom complex? (I am somewhat reluctant to admit that I was totally pleased with the results... if somewhat stiff from crouching on hardwood.)

Monday was spent delivering costumes to school, books to local bookstores and shops then frantically stitching on the ornament for Just Cross Stitch magazine. I’d written down the wrong date for the deadline and that has really messed everything up. Remember what a slow stitcher I am? At least I am totally pigheaded about honouring commitments and doing without sleep if necessary.

Tuesday is my double meeting day for Weight Watchers and it was a great topic this week to do as a leader, but that meant stitching into the night a bit more than my hands were happy with.

This morning I went to Queen Elizabeth School as the visiting illustrator. When I’d blocked off the date 2 months ago on the calendar, it had been wide open!! Today was also the Drama Festival, so I raced over after I spoke to the 3 grade levels and managed to watch Bethany as the lead Egret. What a wonder to watch your children find a passion and run with it! If the photos I took this afternoon turn out, I'll post them.

Now I am frantically blogging before I head back upstairs to stitch. My fingers itch to knit a bit, but I am using that as a reward for getting the ornament finished. Bait is good. Sleep is optional. I am a crafter!!!

2008-03-29T19:08:00.002-03:00

Finally... A Regular Saturday!

Sometimes you don’t know how badly you need things to be normal again until they happen.

For the first time in over a month, we had a regular Saturday morning. There were no swim lessons, no volleyball tournaments, no one was injured, away or undergoing surgery...

The girls and I are all on antibiotics for awful sinus and throat infections, but they have started to kick in and we don’t feel nearly as miserable as we did 48 hours ago.

We did a few errands after a pancake breakfast at one of the local churches with Mom & John. She’s up and about now, though still getting used to the new medication that goes along with the pacemaker. When she gets frustrated about her slow progress, I point out that it has only been a week since the surgery and how glad we are that everything turned out all right.

Nick and I even had a nap this afternoon while the girls enjoyed a massive Barbie game in the basement.

I’m blogging quickly tonight because our city and our family plan to observe EARTH HOUR tonight and spend an hour with NO electricity on at all. Having watched The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising movie last night, I plan to introduce my girls to the book by Susan Cooper which is MUCH more detailed than the movie. That should be the perfect tale to read by candlelight!

2008-03-28T10:24:00.002-03:00

Saying Goodbye to Nanny Kay...

It’s sad when an author dies before all of their stories get told.

When Madeleine L’Engle, Marion Zimmer Bradley and Andre Norton each passed away, I felt a keening sense of regret that there would never be a “new” story to look forward to. Having reread most of my Andre Norton collection early this year , I know that I can still treasure the works that they shared with the world over and over and over... but it’s still not quite the same.

I found out in January that Nanny Kay had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. After my own health fears all fall, I could imagine the disbelief she was feeling. Sadly, the cancer won the battle on Monday night.

Yesterday, I went to the funeral home to say goodbye to the woman who helped set my feet on their current path and to tell her family how much she meant to me. It was very hard.
On the kneeler before the coffin were the two books that she had written, the second of which I had the privilege of illustrating.

I met Nanny Kay at “STORYFEST 2006”, an enrichment event put on by our local school district. I’d been called in at the last minute to help chaperone the group of students from Queen Elizabeth (including Erin) because I had a “flexible” work schedule. I almost refused to go. I dreaded being around authors and illustrators who had actually gone out to do what I had only dreamed of doing since I was 11 years old. I was using my art, I’d built an international reputation as a cross stitch designer over 13 years, I worked from home to be there for my kids, but I’d never gotten around to that which I wanted most... to illustrate children’s books.

During the course of the day, one of the presenters mentioned that author Kay Doucette, known as Nanny Kay, was having trouble finding someone to illustrate her second children’s book. I met up with her, introduced myself and gave her my business card. Within a few days of looking through my portfolio and some rough pencil sketches that I drew up, she’d hired me to draw the illustrations for Just Nanny and Me & Fun Things To Paint. For 10 weeks through a hot summer of trying not to sweat on my artwork, I drew at our dining room table and we put the book together for its release in September of 2006. The following spring at “STORYFEST 2007”, I was there as guest presenter doing an illustration workshop.

Had it not been for Nanny Kay hiring me and encouraging me, I might never have actually chased the dream of illustrating children’s books. It would have been so easy to avoid trying what I wanted most ... in order to not fail at something that would hurt deeply if I didn’t succeed. I might never have learned all the technical things that made putting together Owen & The Dinosaur so much easier.

Sometimes, there are special people who come into our lives for a reason. We may not understand it fully, or appreciate it as much as we should, but we certainly feel the loss when they leave. Goodbye Nanny Kay.

2008-03-23T21:42:00.001-03:00

From Darkness To JOY!

I have my husband home...

HALLELUJAH!

My mom has a pacemaker and is out of ICU...

HALLELUJAH!

Erin and her team won the gold medal in their volleyball tournament yesterday...

YAY! YIPPEE! YAHOO!

The Easter Bunny brought some chocolate...

YUM!!!

I get to go to bed with my husband instead of the stuffed animals...

THANK GOODNESS! THANK GOD!

2008-03-21T21:58:00.002-03:00

Light and Warmth In the Darkness...

It is the darkest day of the year for my faith, this Good Friday. A day when light and warmth can seem very far away if you let them.

Yesterday was ice rain, rain and slick roads for most of the day. This morning is sideways snow and spring seems hopelessly far away.

Yesterday morning, my mother had to go to the hospital with an irregular heartbeat and it has turned out to be a bit more serious than we hoped. She will be in ICU for the Easter weekend.

It would be so easy to give in to despair...

It would be easy to get into the Easter candy early...

Life is seldom easy!

I can remember looking at grown ups as a child. I thought they were so lucky to be able to stay up as late as they wanted, earn their own money to buy things and pick what gets cooked for dinner.

As an adult, I know that many of us don’t get enough sleep, have bills to pay and grab something to eat on the go which may not be the best for our health.

Life is not about how easy your path is, but how you travel it.

Do you look around you at the scenery and appreciate the beauty that you find around you or are you always looking for a shortcut or envying other roads?

Do you take time to speak to people along the way, stop and give directions, point out neat spots to others, share part of your sandwich with someone who is hungry, play 20 questions and listen to the radio at full blast when a great song comes on... or are you racing to your destination with a speed and intensity that lets nothing distract you?

The dark times remind us to treasure all that is precious... to rely on the hugs of friends... to say “I love you” more often... to count the many blessings that we do have... and to remember that after the darkness comes the brilliance of the dawn.

2008-03-17T21:55:00.001-03:00

Things I Am Learning with Nick Away...

Being a single parent in the midst of report card season, pre-Easter activities and upcoming school holidays has taught me a lot this week. I need to make myself smile tonight, so here’s what I’ve learned while Nick is up in the Yukon helping organize his father’s funeral.

1) My kids will eat almost anything for supper if I convince them it is something new and unusual that Dad might not let them do if he were here.

2) I can let off steam to unsuspecting telemarketers who call during supper hour.

3) All 6 of my stuffed animals on Nick’s side of the bed along with the pillow bolster do NOT compensate for his body weight. I am waking up in the middle of the bed doing a dead man’s float and snoring... how attractive!

4) It feels strange not to have anything of his in the laundry pile.

5) I’ve gone back to wishing I could stuff myself through a phone line so that I can hug him in person... just like I did when we were dating long-distance.

6) I’m starting to talk to the hamster again for adult conversation.

7) I am more ruthless with the paper clutter on the counters. Shredding things into pieces or scrumpling them into wads is good therapy and keeps me from biting my fingernails or getting into the chocolate.

8) If I must get into some chocolate, baking chocolate chip cookies with my girls can be justified as a math lesson, a chance to learn a necessary life skill, a bonding experience and much more. Making sure that at least half of the cookies go out the door to an event also keeps me from eating the rest when they are at school!

9) There really is nothing good on TV late at night!

10) If I read until very late at night, and get really, really tired, I don’t jump at ever creak and groan the house makes in the middle of the night. The only problem is that the next morning, all the creaks and groans come from me!

2008-03-15T22:04:00.002-03:00

Goodbyes Are NEVER Easy...

How quickly life can change in a heartbeat...

A few hours after I blogged last night, Nick got word that his father had taken a turn for the worse and was slipping away, so instead of going to bed, we headed downstairs to the computer, booked a flight for him, packed, made some calls and got him out on the 6 am flight this morning for a 17 hour trip from Moncton, New Brunswick to Whitehorse, Yukon.

If there were a longer route to get from point A to point B in our country, I’d be surprised. Nick went Moncton to Toronto, Toronto to Vancouver on the other coast of our country and then Vancouver up north to Whitehorse. Find them on a map and you’ll see just how far he had to race to get to his Dad’s side.

Sadly, he didn’t make it in time.

As I write this, Nick is somewhere in the air between Vancouver and Whitehorse. He woke with a start from a power snooze on the second leg of the flight somehow knowing that it was too late. He called me from Vancouver once he landed to touch base and I had to let him know that he was right.

Luckily, Nick was able to speak to his father late last night before he left and tell him that he loved him and that he was on his way. There are many who don’t get that chance to say goodbye in time.

My girls have cried themselves out as you do with that first huge loss of someone you love in your life. I have spent the day trying to be strong for them, holding down the fort and just aching for Nick and the loss he is facing... but he is where he needs to be right now. He will be able to help his stepmother through the next few difficult days once he arrives tonight.

Luckily, both my girls were able to have fond memories of Ken and Colleen’s visit here for Thanksgiving in 2006 when his health was already starting to fail. Did it hurt more because they got to know him despite the distance or will the memories comfort them? Despite the pain that they are feeling now, I know that they will carry the good forward with them. How can it be a bad thing to know that you were loved?

I worry that Nick’s shoulders, who are always so strong for others, are still recovering. I hope that somehow he can find moments to rest amid this new round of chaos and that from this sadness, some healing will come as he pays his final respects to his Dad.

I called mine tonight to remind him of how much I love him.

Luckily, Ken is no longer in pain.

Never forget to say those “I love yous” as often as possible. We don’t always get to plan when we have to say goodbye.

Goodbye Ken.

2008-03-14T22:36:00.003-03:00

Back From March Break!

We’ve been home a week from a fabulous (if somewhat slower paced) trip to London, England for Spring Break. Now that the snowstorms, jet lag, time change and laundry are done, I can finally get caught up on e-mail, blogging and other fun news!

The proofs for Owen & The Dinosaur looked great. The author and I poured over them and signed off on everything (with a few corrections or spots to watch out for) and so now I just have to sit back and let them print the copies! We’ve set the date of the book launch here in Moncton for April 12th at the Magnetic Hill Zoo from 1 to 3 pm. Like many zoos around the world, they are celebrating 2008 as the year of the frog to bring attention to water quality and other threats to habitats. Since dinosaurs did end up extinct and frogs are about as close as we could come since none of our museums in the city have much in the way of fossils, we decided this was the closest fit. One dollar from every book sold during the launch will be donated to this cause at the zoo!

I managed to get the website updated today as well to include the calorie-free Easter treat that I’d been promising. I had such fun doodling little dragonlets with bunny ears that I even have next year’s planned already. Actually, next year’s may involve a contest as well and I will post the chart earlier. If you wander over to our web site’s newsletter right now, you’ll be able to get your claws on the 2008 Easter Dragonlet and stitch it up before next weekend. I know you... you stitchers are FAST... MUCH faster than this dragon!

Tomorrow is the last session of swimming lessons for the girls which is good because Erin’s volleyball is switching into high gear. I think we have tournaments almost every other weekend until the Nationals/Easterns are held here in May. I foresee a lot of stitching and knitting on the sidelines!

2008-02-28T20:14:00.002-04:00

It’s DONE!!!

If I had more energy, I would skip around the house in a mad dragon dance of glee... but I have discovered that I just can’t do without sleep as often as I used to in my 20s!

Instead, I am sitting with a warm mug of tea in my claws and purring happily to myself. Ok, maybe dragons rumble with contentment instead of purring... but you get the idea.

All the files for Owen & the Dinosaur have made it safely to the printer’s. They will take care of getting the colour proofs ready while I take some time off and enjoy Spring Break with my family. Yesterday’s snowstorm made it feel anything BUT spring like, however the day off school meant that Nick could get a bit more rest. His balance is still going wonky at the darndest times. He’s been back at school this week but trying to take it a bit easy (as much as a Principal can when they are in the building ) but he’s VERY tired when he gets home at night!

I’ve been working on the website updates for March and they should be posted before lunch time tomorrow, including the announcement of the winners from our name the dragons contest and information about the Easter present for stitchers this month... a tiny dragonlet with bunny ears and a basket. It will go up on the site on March 16th so that all you speedy stitchers can get some done in time for the next weekend. Another great treat with no calories!

If I am quiet here for a week or so, know that I am fine. I am resting, recharging and spending some MUCH needed time with my family! Yawn..... This dragon is WAY to tired to stay up and watch Survivor tonight!

2008-02-23T23:11:00.001-04:00

Beating My Head Against The Screen ...

This is the most frustrating part of the whole book process!

The drawings are all done... they looked fine when scanned in at 600 dpi... but then when I need to convert them to CMYK for the printing process, each page turns into MONSTER FILES that are 265 MB and up!

My poor older Mac running Photoshop 2.0 just doesn’t have enough memory to handle playing around with files that size unless I want to watch it think for 10 to 15 minutes between each command.

So...

Somewhere along the line, I have to compromise.

I hate compromising when it comes to the inner perfectionist’s sense of quality control.

I feel like I have been compromising and compromised all week!

I’ve done all the driving while Nick recovers his sense of balance, purchased birthday presents for parties, driven a rocking chair to school for a Rock-A-Thon, packed the sleeping bag, air mattress and other sundries for an Explorer sleep over, driven to volleyball practices & meetings, driven to doctor’s appointments.... until I am ready to scream!

When the going gets tough... the tough hide in the basement, stay up late and work in the peace and quiet once everyone else has gone to bed.

I am sure that when I hold the book in my hands, this will all be worth it....

but right now, there isn’t enough chocolate in the WORLD to ease this frustration!

2008-02-18T19:10:00.003-04:00

Tests, Trials & Tribulations...

All of the drawings are done!

As with the last book, one coloured pencil barely held out until the very end. I may have to start a collection of teeny, tiny pencil bits in a jar as trophies!

I am amazed that I actually got them done considering all that has gone on in the last few weeks.

I had my test. Preparing for it was horrible... then I couldn’t eat for 48 hours. Did I ever mention that dragons get very grumpy when they aren’t fed?

The day of the capsule endoscopy test, they told me to dress in loose clothing. The only problem is that I don’t own any loose pants any more. I gave all my larger sizes away when I lost my weight 6 years ago... so I had to borrow a pair of Nick’s. I headed off to the hospital and they hooked me up. Here’s how attractive I felt....

Here’s a peek at the cool belt that held the data recorder for 8 hours during the test. It recorded everything that the camera sent during its trip through the dragon. I kept waiting to hear Miss Frizzle announce another field trip on the Magic School bus every now and then...

Here’s how many wires and pads were hooked up to the dragon underneath the loose shirt. Pulling them off at the end of the test made the dragon roar a bit. They were so sticky that I am still scrapping off little patches of grey adhesive almost 2 weeks later in a few spots.

The dragon was VERY happy to get this test over with. No children or husband were eaten in the process... but it was close. Even dust bunnies under the couch were looking tasty!

Last week, we had more snow storms roll through. Monday the 11th probably should have been a snow day because the wind was wicked and the snow was blowing sideways. A few buses came close to going off the roads and one or two school buses did run into trouble but no one was hurt. Wednesday the 12th, there was a storm that brought snow then freezing rain and then rain all in one day. The roads were horrid and school was canceled, so my whole family did the happy dance while I tried to work with everyone underfoot. Wednesday night the temperature plunged and everything turned into a giant skating rink. The stores started running low on salt and sand as everyone tried to cope. Thursday morning school was canceled because there was very little traction whatsoever. Again with the happy dance... though the girls got a bit grumpy when I actually made them work on the projects they had due and had put off the day before due to snow day glee and a massive Barbie game. I am such a mean mommy dragon!

Friday morning everyone was back at school for belated Valentine’s Day events and projects that were due. I drove Nick up to work, took both girls and their projects as well as Teacher Appreciation Week baking to the school. Bethany’s class had to make robots (not working ones) and she made an adorable bunny that scooted around on coaster. Can you believe in all the chaos that I forgot to take a picture before it went to school? I hope it comes back in one piece! Bethany was also heartbroken to learn that her teacher had fallen on the ice and broken her wrist the day before, requiring surgery to fix it! Poor Madame! (Bethany is in French Immersion)

I headed off to one of the local schools with my portfolio to fill in for a rescheduled author and illustrators day. One of the presenters had been unable to make it on the Friday and I was a fill-in. I had a great time right up until lunch when I got the call to come to the office.

Nick had been trying to get a bunch of kids to come in off some dangerous ice on the playground at his school when his feet went out from under him. The Vice-Principal was calling to let me know that Nick had split the skin on the back of his head and that they were taking him to the Emergency Room. Needless to say, the last hour of presentations was a bit of a blur. I raced to the hospital as soon as I was done (after calling my Mom in a panic to meet the girls at the bus stop). The ER was full of broken limbs, cracked ribs and other “slip & fall” injuries including one other man with a wound almost identical to Nick’s! 6 hours, 9 stitches and a “mild concussion” later, I brought my poor hubby home. I decided not to post the totally gross picture of his stitches that I took with my digital camera so that he could see what the back of his head looked like. It made him quite woozy... and I don’t want to do the same to any blog readers!

The weekend was a blur of taking care of Nick and working on drawings, getting ready for Sunday School, youth group a concert and the last part of volleyball tryouts for Erin. There is a new provincial-level team for girls 14 & under that she’d tried out for on Thursday night. She was good enough to be asked to go with 7 of the other girls to play in a tournament on Saturday that needed one more team to round things out. The girls met for the 1st time that morning, practiced a bit together and... went on to win the gold medal and the whole tournament! Erin was VERY proud and is thrilled to have officially made the team as of last night.

This morning was more snow, freezing rain and then POURING rain for about 6 hours. The streets are skating rinks once again with an inch or two of water on top of all the ice. We’ll have to watch the weather for the next few days and hope the temperatures stay ABOVE freezing until more of this horrid stuff melts.

I am SO glad to have all the drawings done. Now I just have to take them to be scanned tomorrow and build the final versions of the pages in the computer. The end is in sight...

2008-02-01T11:41:00.001-04:00

The Looming Deadline Dragon...

Have you ever felt a deadline breathing down your neck? With less than 10 drawings left to complete for the book, it seems like I just can’t make my hands draw fast enough. When the going gets tough, I have to be extra careful not to push the hands to the point where they shake and ruin a drawing... because with paper and pen, you can’t just push the “UNDO” command on a keyboard!

I managed to get the website updated for February at last, so I think January just slipped into the same black hole that eats socks out of the dryer. I also got all of my class proposals organized for the fall show in Toronto. As soon as I hear which ones get accepted, I will post details and titles on our website to tempt you!

Dad is now out of the hospital and seems to be on the mend. It is SO hard to be far away when stuff like this happens. I can’t just drive across town or head up the street the way I can with our other parents. Both my father and Nick’s live very far away from us, even though they are close in our hearts. It is hard not to be able to see them when they are hurting!

Grant underwent surgery yesterday because a liver was found (just as things were getting very dicey) so all those prayers must have helped! We are waiting to hear details today, but the surgery went well, he got to keep his spleen and now we hope he will be on the road to recovery. Please keep him in your thoughts as his body recovers from this huge operation.

I go through another test on Monday (hopefully the last for a while) called a Capsule Endoscopy where I get to swallow a tiny camera in a pill and wear a special vest to record the data it transmits as it passes through my system. This will hopefully give them the details they need to rule out one more health mystery. Given what Dad has been through with his colon cancer, I don’t mind them being thorough in my case to make sure nothing is brewing inside. I only wish that I didn’t have to drink two more rounds of that lemon-flavoured battery acid they get you to take before hand. I will be a very grumpy, feeling sorry for myself dragon Sunday night and Monday morning.

Now I just need to draw as much as possible over the weekend!

2008-01-24T14:40:00.000-04:00

Finding My Balance...

Slowly, but surely, I am finding my balance... even when life seems to want to make me tip over.

I am learning to say no, to lift less things if any, to listen to my body, to eat right and to hug those I love more often. This week has been a perfect reminder of why that is so important.

My Dad is back in the hospital. His last chemo treatment was so rough on his body that he can’t eat and was dropping weight so fast that they needed to get him on an IV and feed him that way. It was hard to talk to him on the phone and hear how weak he sounds. The treatments are so hard on his body. I’m not ready to say goodbye to my Dad yet!

I’m not ready to say goodbye to a friend either! I found out this week that Nanny Kay has pancreatic cancer. I will forever be grateful to this wonderful lady for her encouragement and the chance to illustrate a first children’s book. How can this be happening when she still has so many stories to tell? I spent most of the fall in terror that my own health crisis was going to reveal something horrible. While I have certainly had to make quite a few changes to my life in the past 2 months... degenerative disc disease won’t kill me!

Bethany was home sick yesterday after running a high fever the night before. I’ve been feeling somewhat panicky about focussing so much attention, time and billable hours on the book lately as we race to get it ready to publish. Doing less freelance work for paying clients means less income coming in. Yesterday, however, when Bethany was feeling so sick, I was able to work on drawings at the dining room table and get up to check on her every time I needed a stretch or she needed something. If I’d been working full-time OUTSIDE the home, we’d have run into the same chaos & tough decisions that so many working parents face.

I have been so busy working on OWEN & THE DINOSAUR and learning to draw in shorter bursts that I’ve hardly had the computer on at all. What a strange thing in this digital age!

I’ve only got 9 drawings left to complete before we do the computer layout and get the book off to the printer’s. I’d originally hoped to get it to them by the end of January, but given all the turmoil of the fall, I’m not as far behind as I feared.

Because the drawings will be scanned in on a scanner that can handle 11 x 14” sheets of paper, I’ve been batching smaller drawings onto the same page to save money. It does confuse some people when I show off the pictures...

but it certainly lets me keep the style and colours more consistent.

I love putting lots of detail into the pictures...

One of the biggest challenges was redrawing the watercolour that I’d originally sent to Nimbus Publishing (to show two different styles) along with the coloured pencil character sketches. The dinosaur had changed a bit to be more appealing and a bit less scary.

First I retraced the pencil sketch onto drawing paper and began to put the coloured pencil layers in. The composition changed a bit as we focussed more on Owen and the dinosaur.

After all the coloured pencil layers were done, it was time to add the brush markers on top to help blend things together and add more vibrancy to the colours. Here, the sky and water have already been done, but nothing else.

Once all the marker layers have been done, it is type to ink in the detail. This is the opposite of comic books or animation where the inking is done first. If I ever learn to do this in the computer, I’d probably to the line art first, but my hands still do what I want better this old fashioned way than in my computer. It is just such a slow process!!

This close-up shows how much the black pen details make Owen stand out compared to the rest of the drawing...

Ever so slowly, more and more details and outlines get added in. If I feel my hands or back getting tired during this stage, I make sure to take a break because one slip of the pen could be a total disaster!!

Finally, all the inking is done and the piece is complete. It looks very different from the bold hues in the watercolour, but it certainly matches the rest of the book much better now. I also like this version of the dinosaur much better than my original. This dino I would bring home!

I finished off the other large beach drawing shortly after to keep my colour palette the same and avoid having one pencil or marker wear out.

I also had great fun doing this cartoonish picture of Owen. It comes at a place in the book where he’s explaining to the dinosaur that he used to be afraid of the dark, so the cartoony style is to show how he’s remembering the event.

There's most of what I’ve been up to. I also put in two class proposals for the TNNA show in Columbus to see if I will be teaching during that trade show, I wrote an adorable poem for a design called “Dragon’s Lullaby” which I will teach first at the CreativFestival next fall and plotted with Teresa for what joint class we’d teach in Toronto next October. Now I just have to submit all my CSNF class proposals before the end of January.

Did I say that I’ve been finding my balance? I think I need a nap!

2008-01-08T21:01:00.000-04:00

One small gift...

This magical heart appeared on our kitchen window during the last snowstorm. Over the holidays, we had 4 storms in 7 days! I took a picture of it before the back window snow thawed out, not knowing how appropriate it would be for this blog.

I got in to see my doctor late last week and finally have some news to share. The pathology reports aren’t back on some of the other internal issues, but the spinal CT scan was fairly conclusive. I have very little disk left between my L5 and S1 vertebrae and thinning disks at the L4 and L3 levels as well. My doctor suspects that one of the clusters of nerves that leads down to the right leg (one that goes around the front area which is less common) is being pinched and is causing the pain. Degenerative disk disease is something that I can learn to live with. Keeping my weight reasonable and doing exercises for my core region to strengthen back and abs will probably help. I will probably start sitting on my ball rather than my office chair at the computer. I also know that shoveling is NOT a part of my winter activities anymore. I tried to do a bit last week between storms and the agony the next 3 days was not worth the calories burned as exercise!

What really brings me here tonight are not by own health concerns, but those of a close friend’s son. Grant has been waiting for a liver transplant for most of his 16 years, but things are getting critical. He is at the Sick Kids hospital in Toronto with his parents who are struggling to be brave as time seems to be slipping away from them. Prospects for livers are so slim right now that they are putting out a call for a partial liver donation instead and spreading the word through friends and family. This procedure only involves giving up a portion of a liver from a living donor, since the liver is the only organ that can regenerate and grow.

If you haven’t ever talked with your family about organ donation or signed an organ donor card, PLEASE don’t wait another day! There is such a huge shortage out there and such a great need. That new life can come from tragedy or loss is one of the greatest gifts out there.

Your prayers for Grant would be appreciated. Regardless of which faith you celebrate, please take a few moments to hold this young boy and his family in your heart.

2007-12-21T19:10:00.000-04:00

Wishes for Peace & Hope...

I had such great plans for 2007, especially how I wanted to celebrate the season on the new website and make it an exciting place for stitchers to visit. I also wanted to launch two exciting new ideas on New Year’s Eve so that when people visited our site on January 1st, they’d discover that the world of Dragon Dreams had expanded even more...

But all that is going to be put on hold for now.

All these tests I’ve been going through have picked up a few concerns that need to be addressed with a few rounds of more detailed exams that are going to take place fairly quickly in the New Year. I am just going to need to focus on a few less things for a tiny while, my health being the biggest one. The website newsletter will NOT be updated until after I get through the next round of tests in mid-January.

This has been going on for such a very long time and it is starting to wear the dragon down just a little, both physically and magically. 5 months of pain has been a long quest to endure, especially since they still aren’t exactly sure what is causing this or how to fix it! There are days when I wish I’d broken my drawing hand instead... because at least I’d have been out of the cast by now!

Your thoughts and prayers have been appreciated as well as the kind words or cards that keep popping up on days when I seem to need them the most. As a thank you, I wanted to send some wishes, prayers and goodies back to all of you, especially since I missed doing the fun stuff on the site all month long.

THE DRAGONS HAVE A NAME!

For all those of you who entered the contest to name the illustration and needlework dragons on our website, I have some winners.

The needlework dragon’s name is now HOOPER (hoop-er) because it sounded so cute and WAY too many of you suggested Flossy. It was a natural choice, but it was also the name of the cow in too many fairy tales that I read as a child to win. Beth P. Skott was the clever person who came up with that name.

The illustration dragon’s name is PIGMENT. Several of you (including Beth) submitted that entry, so I had to do a random draw and Elaine Long was the winner for that suggestion.

Thanks to everyone who submitted their great name ideas!

A GIFT OF PEACE...

I have learned over the past few months to treasure those moments of peace whenever they land in your lap. A sunrise, a quiet moment with someone you love, staring in wonder at the falling snow or the beauty of the decorated tree. I’ve also had moments when a sense of peace was shattered suddenly by a stab of pain. I know that there are many of you out there going through things that are FAR worse and corners of our world that are in far more turmoil than my life. My wish is that PEACE could spread a little farther this year, anger dissipate a little quicker and healing happen where it is least expected.

A TASTE OF SOMETHING SWEET...

I’ve tried to keep some things normal in our family this holiday season and the chance to bake has been one of them. I’ve actually adapted one of my favourite recipes and given it a new holiday twist which I share with all of you here to enjoy. These squares are VERY rich so they can be cut quite small. Feel free to pick other toppings that your family will enjoy.

THE DRAGON’S HOARD BARS

INGREDIENTS: • 2 cups of margarine, melted
• 1 cup of sugar
• 4 cups of all-purpose flour
• 2 14-ounce cans of sweetened condensed milk
• 2 cups of semisweet chocolate chips
(whole 12 oz. pkg.)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

TOPPINGS: • 5 crushed Candy Canes
• 1 cup white chocolate chips
• 1 cup Skor toffee bits
• 1 cup Chippit caramels
• chopped nuts, coconut or anything else fun that
you are hoarding!

1. Preheat oven to 350° F. Melt the margarine in the microwave and pour into mixing bowl. Add sugar and flour and mix with fork until crumbly and well combined. Press most of the mixture into an ungreased 13 x 9 x 2 inch glass baking dish or baking pan (slightly different results. I use the pyrex/glass one) to form the bottom crust. Save just under a cup to crumble on the top.

2. In a medium saucepan, combine the sweetened condensed milk and the chocolate chips. Stir over low heat until the chocolate melts completely and the mixture is smooth. Remove from heat. Stir in the vanilla. Spread evenly over the crust and then crumble the remaining crust mixture on top of the chocolate filling. Sprinkle all of your hoarded toppings on there as well until very little chocolate filling shows.

3. Bake in the preheated oven for about 35 minutes or until topping is golden. Cool in pan on wire rack. DO NOT CUT into squares until completely cool. If you need to speed up the cooling process, you can put the pan into the fridge once it has cooled for about 20 minutes at room temperature. Makes 40 - 50 squares when cut small.

A GIFT OF HOPE...

We all need to keep hope alive and burning brightly in our hearts, no matter what. I am writing this on the darkest night of the year with candles lit to celebrate that light, like hope, can shine in the darkness and not be overcome.

Whatever this season holds, whatever you are facing, do not give up hope. That is one of the things that sets us apart from all other creatures... our ability to dream and imagine and pray and hope.

I hope that the New Year waiting just around the corner is filled with more adventures, more wonder, more creativity and more love than you can imagine. That the answers you seek will be found, that the dreams that inspire you will be shared to make this world a better place and that no matter what may lurk around the corner or under the bed, you will keep hope with you on your journey, like a magical, friendly dragon to scorch all your troubles to ashes and curl about you on cold, bitter nights to keep you warm.

2007-12-13T19:53:00.000-04:00

Cookies Taste Better Than Barium!

It was still dark and bitterly cold when I left the house this morning. That kind of deep, crisp cold that almost steals the breath from your body. I’d been fasting since last night and headed off to the hospital for yet another test. This time, I had to swallow the chalky-tasting barium for an upper GI. I got to the hospital, slid into a parking spot, dumped lots of coins into the meter and headed in. I got dressed in one of those flattering gowns that are never quite long enough and always seem to be on the verge of a wardrobe malfunction. The perky nurse told me that I could keep my boots and panties on... so I am sure that I made quite the picture; a 6’5” dragon in a short robe and clompy winter boots knitting a scarf as she waited for the radiologist to arrive. I bravely downed the fizzy gas crystals and the huge barium milkshake, then climbed on the table. At least this time, the machine was on was long enough... though I did almost have a Janet Jackson moment when they told me to roll over completely to coat the inside of my stomach! I “vogued” all my poses and mistakenly thought that was it. The next thing I knew, they were giving me ANOTHER cup of the icky white stuff (though not nearly as horrid as the lemon flavoured battery acid stuff from two weeks ago!) and told me to go sit outside for 45 minutes to let it move through me.

Apparently, dragons have slow digestive systems. Every half hour, they kept putting me on a different table and taking another X ray to see if things had moved “far enough through”. After being there for over 2 hours, I scooted out with my johny shirt under my coat, my jeans barely zipped and my hat askew to pump more money in the meter. Had I realized I was going to be there for over 4 hours, I would have parked the van in the lot!

Finally, the powers that be decided that perhaps tall dragons needed more vile stuff in there if they were slightly taller insides too... so they brought me another milkshake which I bravely downed. By this point, the nurses could see that I was shivering slightly and brought me a nice warm blanket to put over my long legs while I knit more on the scarf. Thank goodness for knitting to keep me sane! I even got 3 other ladies hooked on the possibility of just picking out some cool wool, casting on 16 stitches and just knitting again for the first time in years. Heh! Heh!

At long last a very HUNGRY dragon climbed back on the original machine and let the radiologist maneuver the strange pod down to press on my belly and peer deep inside the well coated, frothy insides of the dragon. With a wink and a smile, they told me I could go home and get some breakfast at last!

A quick glance at my watch revealed that it was now 11:30 and that the parking meter had probably expired about 4 minutes earlier, so I scrambled back into my clothes and raced out into the cold. Luckily, the subzero temperatures also made it uncomfy for the meter men to be out ticketing people, so I leapt in the van, drove home, opened a tin and bit a cookie’s head off to make myself feel human again while I fixed lunch. The sun even came out amid some dark clouds, and I felt my mood lighten.

Cookies taste SO much better than barium. They even smile at you while you eat them!

Our family has a fond tradition of icing all our cookies at once in an evening of madness. I make up royal icing from the Bulk Barn mix and put it into lots of ziplock bags with food colour to give me the broadest range of icing colours possible, then we all sit down to ice them.

Being a rather OC traditionalist, I usually ice my sugar cookie trees and gingerbread men the same way every year because I love how they turn out. Wouldn’t Martha be proud??

Nick, on the other hand, has a unique style and sense of humour that is a madcap blend of Monty Python and Mister Bill... but colourful and lots of fun!

The girls always insist on decorating a batch of cookies for their homeroom teachers and bus drivers, so they come up with unique designs that are all their own.

Erin made this adorable reindeer from one of the candy cane shapes and I have already told her it is MINE... MY cookie! (I’ll consider it one of my Christmas presents!)

Icing all these cookies last night also kept my mind off the test today and gave me something to chew my frustrations out on when I came home at last! I even got Nick to pose in front of the tree with the trifle his Mother made before she left for Ireland to be with her sister for the holidays. It was a taste of his childhood that he had fun sharing with the girls and I after supper last night before I had to start fasting. It was good, but not as good as cookies.

Cookies taste SO much better than barium!!!

2007-12-05T09:40:00.001-04:00

INSTANT WINTER!

Winter arrived in one fell swoop! Yesterday’s storm dumped almost 2 feet of snow (46 cm or 18 inches) on our city. Everything ground to a halt. Schools were canceled, meetings, buses pulled off the roads...

So why didn’t I blog, get the website updated etc.?

Well, I had three excited people bouncing around the house about having a snow day and I was a bit giddy myself since I had to cancel both meetings at Weight Watchers. I won’t get paid... but that’s OK.

Then, it took Nick almost 2 hours to clear out the driveway. I shoveled a little emergency path from our back door down off the deck which you can’t even really see in this picture.

It was frustrating not to be able to attack the snow with my usual gusto... but I don’t want to make anything worse. I can’t even strap on my cross country skies for a run which is just about driving me crazy!

Lastly, when that many people in our city are stuck at home with nothing to do, the Internet usage spikes to a crazy high and even high speed internet slows to what feels like a crawl.

So guess what? I just stayed cozy, baked my grandmother’s Oatmeal Brown Bread recipe (which only seems to work properly in a snowstorm) and drew the next batch of sketches for the book.

It won’t be a green Christmas this year!

2007-11-30T13:36:00.001-04:00

Up and Around Again...

OK. I’m up and moving again after yesterday’s adventures and the horror of getting ready for the test. My kids will NEVER be able to get out of taking icky cough medicine again in their lives, because they have watched Mommy be brave and drink something that tasted like lemon-flavoured battery acid and burned all the way down.

The preparation really was worse than the procedure! They took a few samples to double check one area, but nothing really bad showed up, so one more thing to cross off the list! I am thankful that the doctors are being thorough and careful... but I truly hate being the case that is baffling them! The one funny part was not being allowed to go home until I’d had some big farts... I’ll have to cartoon a dragon fart sometime!

Someone sent me this link in an e-mail to make me smile and it worked! Can you imagine putting the costume on in the first place?

This weekend should be fun as we put up the decorations as this year’s Advent season gets underway. The Josh Groban Noël CD arrived just in time!

2007-11-26T21:32:00.001-04:00

Busy and Sore...

When I’m quiet for a while on the blog, it usually means that I am either sore or busy. This past week has been both!

I went for another CT scan of the whole spinal area and again, did not fit the machine so much of the dragon’s long, long legs suspended out into space as I tried to brace my abs and hold the legs up as they ran me through the scanner. Now I know what a pattern feels like when it’s being copied! No unauthorized extra copies of me please!

I’ve also been working hard on a set of drawings for Owen and the dinosaur. I went through 2 or 3 days of hating what my hands were producing because I decided to go with coloured pencil and brush marker instead of watercolour. To me the differences are VERY obvious! I was mourning the loss of some of the things I can do with paint while savouring how much faster each drawing could go together because I didn’t have to wait for everything to dry before adding my ink details.... I’d worked myself into a lather when I met with the author to see which he preferred. He sat at the dining room table, looked at both... peered at them closer and told me that until I pointed out the details, he couldn’t see much of a difference!

Artists sometimes get so obsessed with detail that it gets in the way. I bet all creative types can be like that. Some stitchers worry so much about a mistake that seems glaring to them, they forget that most people won’t ever notice unless they point the mistake out.

This week is the most invasive test thus far and I go off all forms of pain medication tonight, eat lightly tomorrow and basically purge the dragon completely on Wednesday before the test on Thursday. I won’t go into details or doodle any cartoons unless something totally twisted comes to mind, but I might show off some of the drawings later this week, just to put some pictures up here. It always feels so naked when there are only words!

2007-11-16T00:46:00.001-04:00

How Do Single Parents Do It?

I just don’t know how single parents do it.

Bethany was home sick today, so I adapted my schedule around her and tried to get done what I could. Nick is away until tomorrow night and I never really sleep well with half of the bed empty. I hope I never have to adapt.

The house is too quiet, even with both my girls sleeping soundly.

He sent me flowers and the dining room smells wonderful. Bonus points in the “He can do no wrong club” again. A present to make me miss his presence even more.

I’d forgotten just how much company the other adult in my family can be! Someone to talk to, decompress with and make a stand with. I find myself wanting to hold deep conversations with the dwarf hamster at almost 1 in the morning. Time for bed!

Kudos to all single parents out there who do this alone all of the time!

2007-11-14T21:35:00.001-04:00

Back To Reality... and it's only taken me 3 days to blog about it!

There’s nothing like being away from it all to make coming back to reality a bit harder than usual!

Retreat was WONDERFUL! Nick drove Mom and I, with all our bags, up to Camp Wildwood on Friday night having left the girls with their grandfather, 2 pizzas to bake and some movies to watch. Friday night is always fun as stitchers stake their claims, set up their circles of chairs and pull out a project to work on that isn’t too hard on the head.

I decided that I was going to PLAY for this year’s ornament exchange. I’d been into Because You Count to pick up a wonderful array of buttons from Just Another Button Company. Here’s what I picked out:

I got out some fabric and just started to stitch, designing as I went. They fed us snacks, we got caught up on all the news and I just settled in to enjoy myself. Whenever I got uncomfy, I just got up and walked around a bit.

Saturday morning, we woke up to SNOW! Mother Nature decided to gift us with a little dusting of snow to put everyone in a holiday mood. We had breakfast and some of us drove off to a tiny local craft show. I bought a pair of wool socks to keep my dragon toes warm, some wonderful tole painted items and two Holiday pins made out of FIMO.

Once we got back to retreat, I taught my mother how to cross stitch. Most people were amazed that I hadn’t taught her before this...

I also autographed a few copies of Santa’s Dragon...

One of the ladies had made up stitching accessories to sell with an incredible variety of fabric. This one called to me. Is this my Mission Statement or what??

After working on my ornament for the rest of the morning, I needed a change. I pulled out the amazing Dragon Needle Felting kit that I bought at the CreativFestival in Toronto a few weeks ago created by Wendo van essen. Here’s how my dragon took shape...

First, I bent the wire and the pipe cleaner as the instructions told me to.

Next, I began to add the coloured fibre (wool fluff) around the wire to make a bit more of a dragon shape. Using an INCREDIBLY SHARP needle, I began to poke in and out of the fluff to turn it into felt. Is is a FUN sensation. Because of the little grooves in the Felting needle, you can almost feel it crunching as you poke into the fluff. The needle pulls out clean and then you stab it back in again. Wendo thoughtfully provides a piece of foam in the kit so that there is usually something between the fluff and your body parts to stop any over exuberant stabs through the fluff. USUALLY being the key word. Did I mention that the needle is very, very SHARP?

Slowly, but surely... my dragon began to take shape.

I had one moment of panic when he started to bear a slight resemblance to a purple dinosaur that used to be very popular in our household....

Adding the scales down the dragon’s back was fun!

Stitchers kept drifting over to see what I was up to or to check on my progress. One of them snapped this photo for me.

I tried to zoom in here to show you the needle, but it was mostly hidden by my hand. I’m probably not demonstrating the proper grip... but anything that lets you stab fluff without hitting your own flesh is probably a good grip!

Wendo does a great job of describing how to make the feet and hands for your dragon out of separate pieces. Mine ended up with less toes on each foot than her version, but each dragon is unique.

Her red dragon looked nice and fierce on the cover of the kit, but in the end, mine ended up looking very cute, cuddly and quite bottom heavy...

Meet BUDDY!

If you feel the need to felt a dragon of your own, just drop by Wendo’s Website!!

I also managed to finish my ornament for the exchange the next day and decided to call it “Snowy Wait”. The chart and instructions will be on our website (accessed through the newsletter) in December.

Sunday morning, we woke up to even more snow. Maybe calling my ornament “Snowy Wait” wasn’t such a good idea!

A fire was lit in the main hall and we all just curled up with our projects after a brief worship service. We paused at the eleventh hour for a minute of silence in honour of our veterans and recited the poem “In Flanders Fields” together.

Here’s a picture of Mom with what she got done on her dollhouse rug over the weekend... not bad for a first time stitcher! She’s MUCH faster than me!

We held our ornament exchange and had our last meal together at lunchtime. Here's Elizabeth, who has run the retreats all these years, beside the tree before the ornament exchange.

As soon as lunch was done, stitchers began packing up to head home on the snowy roads. The circles disappeared, the bits of floss and fluff were swept from the floor and we all headed back to reality.

Sorry that it’s taken until this afternoon to post about my adventures. I can already find myself dreaming about the next retreat!

2007-11-09T15:15:00.001-04:00

Off To RETREAT!

My bags are in the hall, my sleeping bag is out of the shed so that it won’t be freezing cold and I am just sorting through what projects to bring along for the weekend retreat at Camp Wildwood with some of the most awesome stitchers I know.

I brought lots of little things to work on this year because I’m not sure how long I can sit at a stretch in the camp chair. I have also promised myself that if I want to go and take a nap, I’m just going to do it!

I have lots of stuff that isn’t even stitching (knitting, felted dragon, sketchbook, journal etc.) but that is all part of the fun. Best of all, I won’t have to answer a phone, cook a meal, mediate a fight, drive anyone to an activity or other such commitment until Sunday after lunch. WhooooHoooo!

Part of being creative, is giving yourself time to recharge and just play. I brought along an assortment of my favorite Just Another Button Company Buttons to play with. If my camera weren’t already packed, I would take a picture of them now... but instead I will take one once I get to retreat and get settled in.

Did I mention I don’t have to cook any meals until Sunday at supper time?

Did I mention that I could sleep in tomorrow morning or take a nap if I wanted to?

Whooooooo Oho!

2007-11-07T11:17:00.001-04:00

One more test down...

Having all that icky stuff to drink for the CT scan certainly didn’t agree with me! I was in such pain (and VERY bloated) by Monday night that I went and sat in the Emergency department hoping to be seen. I thought perhaps that they could feel something different when I was all puffed up like that. However, there were several cases that came in on the acute side and after 6 hours, I gave up and went home!

Yesterday, I was still uncomfy but not as “puffy” (No jokes about PUFF the magic dragon, please!) and I managed get a hold of my doctor’s office. They squeezed me in and she managed to pull up my CT scan results.

The good news is, aside from the slight beginnings of some bone degeneration in one of my spinal disks (common in tall people but I’m going to take more calcium just in case!) the CT was absolutely clear of anything strange or startling going on with my liver, kidneys and intestines. Given my Dad’s battle with colon cancer right now, that was VERY good news indeed.

The bad news is, that means they still have no idea what is causing all this pain... which keeps getting steadily worse. After her examination yesterday, my doctor said that perhaps we needed to take a second look at the possibility of a small hernia or tear in one of the muscles, especially since the 6 sessions of physio didn’t improve things.

So... one less thing to panic about, one more silver lining of good news to be thankful for, but I’m still getting a bit cranky from not being able to sleep well at night or get comfy during the day. Having been a VERY active person the past few years, I’m also finding it hard being a more idle dragon.

The good news is, this gives the dragon lots of time to think up twisted ideas, fun stuff, crazy illustration ideas etc.

I can’t wait for the cross stitch retreat this weekend either. I am going to work on the felted dragon kit that I bought in Toronto, take naps whenever I feel tired, be free from cooking any meals for almost 48 hours and spend time with my Mom. She’s coming along to her first retreat! I think she’ll be hooked!

Time to go dig some more Why Hoard Gold patterns out of the self store for my Hoffman order (not lifting too many at a time) and then pick up something that’s NOT mine to stitch on at retreat!

2007-11-02T14:57:00.000-03:00

BLEEEeeeeeeeahhhhh!

Dragons do NOT like CT scans!

Let me back up a bit.

Halloween was fun, even though I was feeling kind of yucky. I brought back these COOL heart and brain growing things from Toronto that you put in water for 72 hours and they get bigger. Ours didn’t just get bigger, they got HUGE! Halloween night, we put them on top of a box in the front window which was lit up from underneath. It looked VERY creepy and GROSS! My kids tell me I am a cool Mom to bring them slimy things!

Speaking of the dragonlets... I had a pirate and a teenage witch to escort Wednesday night. Apparently, Swiffers get better mileage than brooms. Who knew? Since the cold metal pole began to freeze Erin’s hands after a while... guess who got to carry it? Yup... the MOM. I just got her to add a bit to my “mom tax” from her treats to make up for being her Sherpa. The tax is my favourite part of the night. Just enough tiny chocolates to make the dragon feel like she’s had fun and then I don’t raid their bags later... well... maybe not much.

One of the highlights, this year, was being able to Trick Or Treat at Nanny and Grr’s house for the first time in their lives! Now that my Mom and John live a block away, it was easy to hit their house on our rounds. Nick drove the girls across town to Grammy’s house as well, but alas... they were out for the night! John answered the door all night with “Hennery”, one of his puppets. Their street is much busier than ours, so I ran my leftover candy up once we decided to turn our lights off. I really didn’t need the temptation around!

Another cute sight that night was this teeny dragon skipping around our neighbourhood. Wouldn’t it be fun if they made a costume like that in MY size? It wouldn’t be as cute, but it would certainly stand out at Trade Shows!

Today, I went for my CT scan. Nothing to eat after breakfast and a totally icky drink to chug two hours before I headed to the hospital.

Here’s the proof that the dragon swallowed it all, nose pinched to avoid the taste. I forgot that wouldn’t help for burps afterwards! YUCK!

I got to the hospital, took a number, stood in line and then followed the red dots on the floor as instructed until they ran out. I sat patiently while they hooked up my IV, drank a smaller glass of the icky stuff (berry this time instead of banana... but not much of an improvement!) and then headed into the room with the machine. That’s when the problems started.

Apparently, they don’t often try to scan 6’5” dragons! They had me scoooch as far down on the bench thing as possible so that just my bum to head was on there. Which was fine until the machine slid me through and most of me just hung out there in midair!

There wasn’t anything to rest my feet or legs on, so I just had to tense my ab muscles and hold them tight as they ran the dragon through the machine... several times.... holding my breath each time.... legs dangling behind...

Definitely not one of my more graceful moments!

Now, I’m home and drinking lots of water to flush my system like they told me. With every test, I hope they either keep ruling stuff out or find out what is causing all this pain and discomfort. I am getting a bit grumpy after 4 months of this!

The kids should be home any minute from school. Nick, bless his heart, is taking the girls and our godson to a hockey game tonight and I am just going to stay curled up here at home.

2007-10-31T09:19:00.000-03:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Trick or Treat from the Dragon! There’s a calorie-free treat to enjoy on our website’s newsletter for the next 48 hours. Just click on the word FANG in our NEWSLETTER and you can get your claws on this little chart to stitch!

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-30T21:26:00.000-03:00

CreativFestival Decompression

I’ve been at Weight Watchers most of the day teaching 2 classes, then racing around to pick up the girls with Nick from 2 separate Halloween events- a school dance and Explorers’ party. No wonder I just wanted to sleep and hide from the world yesterday, I knew how crazy today would be! The little white snowflakes falling this morning at the bus stop didn’t help either... ACK! Winter is on its way!!

So, what did I think about Toronto?

Dwaggy loved all the soft pillows and the cozy bedspread.

I really loved the shower that could be adjusted WAY up and the cool rainmaking disk in the ceiling. I got a little confused with 3 faucets to turn and a temperature dial to boot, but no serious freezings or scaldings of Dragon to report.

Toronto is big and busy! All the car accidents, sirens, homeless people, rushing bodies that don’t make eye contact etc. made me realize that I’ve gotten very used to living in a friendly little city of just over 110,000. I kept smiling at people and chatting with people at stoplights just to see if they’d answer back. It became a bit of a game... I also find the contrast of historic buildings and ultra modern ones very fascinating, so I kept pulling out my camera to take pictures...

I must have looked like a total tourist...

But how can you not be in awe of views like this?

This is one of the reasons I want to be able to upload photos and blog about them in the immediacy of the moment instead of having to wait until I get home!

The black squirrels are SO much more aggressive that our little red ones.

See the beady eyes on this one? Ok, so it’s just the camera, but I am sure this one kept checking to see if my ankles looked tasty!

The stitchers in all of my classes were totally awesome again this year. Many of them I now consider friends more than students and they are such totally fun people to hang with. I tried some smaller projects this year to see if I could push them out of their comfort zones by making teeny, tiny treasure chests out of perforated paper which we then filled with special beads and a tiny sleeping dragon with a teddy bear that we tucked into wonderfully unique felt beds.

I taught a class in beadpoint and encouraged stitchers to make designs with beads instead of Xs. We had more than a few beads go flying and some colourful language, but great results.

This is Andrea... she beadpoints REALLY fast.

She finished her project just 45 minutes into the 1.5 hour class and impressed everyone. Others told me to award a prize for the slowest person in the class, but then I worry that everyone might go slow on purpose!

We also played Monster Mix-up and I ended up doodling a communal monster near the end. It was designed by consensus... ie. Is it going to be cute or scary (show of hands). Can you guess that CUTE won?

I also LOVED the two lectures I gave. One was a huge blast and totally fun... the other was really important information to pass on. Honest... it had nothing to do with the power to make over 120 people “bow down” their hands like a giant game of Dragon Says. I was teaching stretching exercises at the time. They were a great crowd that laughed in all the right places. Maybe next time the mike won’t cut out halfway through the lecture though. I can feel how tired my voice is tonight after talking most of the day once again!

The CreativFestival truly is a unique event that combines so many crafts and classes in one space. It brings a huge variety of crafters together for 4 days, many of whom don’t venture beyond their comfort zone, but when you can get them talking about what makes them passionate, you can tell that deep down, we’re all the same. We love to make things and have them appreciated, which a Walmart-mentality world sometimes doesn’t value.

I truly needed to get away and get re-inspired. This festival made me realize what wonderful people there are in creative fields, how important good friends are (no matter what adventures you end up on), that I still need to be deeply involved in creating things with thread and that making people feel GOOD about the time they spend crafting beautiful objects is very important to me.

But it is time to make a mug of something warm and crawl into bed. The halloween treat is already up on the website early... share the link and SPREAD THE WORD!