BEATING DEADLINES!

Sometimes, the best thing about setting a goal or timeframe is actually beating it! I needed to get all of my files to the printer by tomorrow if there was a chance of them squeezing in the two jobs I need professionally printed for Nashville! Nothing worse that taking printed matter whose ink isn’t quite dry with you. First of all, the product is prone to transfer smudges, secondly it still smells quite strongly and third, the panic feelings of wondering if it will be ready are just plain unpleasant.

I actually got the files all done and sent over this morning after a little help with the proofing from a patient friend (thanks again!!). Sometimes you just stare at things too long to be objective. Stitchers are such clever people that they find the mistakes... but that is AFTER you have already printed your press run!!

Now there is just one last model to stitch and frame for the show. Nick and I can do a sampler in tandem. On a solid piece, our tension is a bit to different to look as smooth as I’d like, but on a sampler, he can whiz through the text backstitching, one or the other can handle the cross stitch and then I do the specialty stitches.

I’m also thrilled with how DD-90 MESSY...BUT MINE! looks now that it is back from the framer’s!! This dragon was such fun to design on her pile of treasure. I even hid my ipod in the stash!!! Of course there had to be a teddy bear and some books to read as well as typical dragon loot... Nick jokes that this model needs to hang on my office door as soon as it gets home from all its shows! Hah! Hah!

With the files out of the way early, I should move on to something practical, but my hands feel like drawing today, so I am going to eat lunch and spend the hour before Bethany gets home just working on one of my pieces for the DragonCon jury. A little Josh Groban music in the background and time to draw sounds like heaven right now!!!

THOSE ARE THE BREAKS...

If this is life getting back to “normal”, I think I’ll stay in holiday mode!!! I practically danced my way home from the bus stop on Monday morning as everyone got back off to school and had my most productive day in ages. I am still in a panic that something won’t get done by Nashville a month from now or that I’ll overlook some major error in a chart because I was rushed... but all you can do is try to eat that elephant one bite at a time!

I’m also very hard on myself because I feel like such a slow stitcher compared to Nick or my wonderful model stitchers... but I am accurate, which Nick in a rush sometimes isn’t, and I don’t have to pay myself!

By Monday afternoon the snow was falling heavily, far beyond the 2 cm the weatherman called for. Nick called to say the roads were horrible and the girls’ choir practice was canceled. Once Nick got home, we just stayed put.

By Tuesday morning, everything was sunny and clear again. Nick has a meeting after school at the board office to discuss the positions he intends to apply for in this first round of openings for Principalships for the 2006-2007 school year and it went very well. Now he’s polishing off his resume, updating Power point presentations etc. I stayed up really late stitching, but it was fun to see the design come to live beneath my fingertips.

By Wednesday morning, it was starting to get warm and they were calling for freezing rain or heavy rain by nightfall. My walking buddy and I finally got our schedules to match and we walked in the local mall for an hour. I came home feeling worked out but satisfied and got lots accomplished before I headed up to the bus to meet Bethany. Imagine my horror when she stepped off the bus holding one arm funny!! She’d slipped on the last part of some playground equipment right after lunch, but everyone at school assumed it was just a sprain because she could still move her fingers. No one called me or even sent a note home! I put some ice on the wrist area for a bit and waited for Erin to get home from staying after school for extra help. As soon as Nick came home, I bundled Bethany off to the hospital with me for an X-ray because she couldn’t hyperflex her “drawing hand” at all and my mommy senses were tingling. It was a long wait in the ER, but finally, the images confirmed she did have a “buckle fracture” in the radius of her right arm an inch or so below her wrist. By then, it was too late in the day to get a cast done and the wrist was still a bit too swollen, so we got a plaster splint and a note to get us fast tracked at the ER this morning. I managed to get quite a bit of model stitching done while playing 20 questions for over 4 hours to keep Bethany’s mind off how much her arm hurt.

By this morning, it was pouring rain. I drove the girls to school so that I could express my disappointment at not having received any communication from the school. Her teacher was aghast that it was broken. I certainly didn’t want anyone to get in trouble, but I did want to stress that I prefer to be called and given the option of what to do if my child is hurt during instructional time. Bethany and I went down to the hospital afterwards. She was prepped for the cast, but just before the plaster layer, the cast expert was called to the acute side of the ER for an emergency splint. We played silly puppet games with her jacket sleeve and more 20 questions until he returned. Once we were done, we headed to the bank to deposit my Hoffman cheque in the US dollar account and then to Blockbuster to rent a pile of fun DVDs to watch together (she’ll watch, I’ll stitch and listen) until the cast sets in 48 hours. She can’t really draw until then so she’s very grumpy about that... just like her mom would be.

This morning, we also found out that our new dwarf hamster, who has been with us for just over a month, is as diabetic as Nipper who passed away a year ago. Perhaps females are just more vulnerable to this disease. Erin has been heartbroken all day and cried as she played with her tonight, but I tried to turn that into a life lesson. We really never know how much time we have for anything, so each moment that we do have should be savoured and enjoyed. With special diet, she may live another few months... or even longer. We certainly won’t breed her to our male hamster of 10 months though. I think the girls were hoping for one batch of baby hamsters sometime...

What a week this has been so far!! My framer is on standby for this design as soon as I finish it. One more late night and tomorrow with Bethany should do it. Tomorrow night is date night and I can’t wait to toast the end to this crazy week with my husband and a nice glass of Merlot or a piece of chocolate!!

Looking Back and Looking Forward...

New Year’s Eve always makes me feel reflective. Perhaps it is something about having a new year with all the possibilities stretching out before us that inspires me to dream about what the coming 365 days will hold.

Tonight we are staying in with friends joining us for a night of games, good snacks and great company. Mom and John are also here, so the girls are thrilled to have grandparents around.

It’s funny how hard it has been to blog lately. Things will inspire me to write and then I get interrupted. I am going to try to change that for the New Year and go back to writing smaller entries more often.

One of the most exciting things to happen over the holidays was reading the latest Monica Ferris book that I received as a present. It is set at the show in Nashville, which I am getting ready for, so I could picture everything very clearly. When I got to page 190, you should have heard the SQUEEEEEEEEEEEAL that I let out upon seeing my company name in print. So silly, but incredibly fun as well. When she mentioned the line about a bunch of us being dressed up in garb... I had to laugh. At least she didn’t have me running through the lobby with my sword!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! May it be a year of dreams and inspiration for everyone!

Happy Holidays... Celebrate the Unexpected!

Response the the fun I’ve tried to have with the website this month has been gratifying. Life should be a adventure and looking for ways to celebrate the unexpected, as well as longing for what is expected. Tonight was lovely at church. The girls sang and played the tone chimes with their choir. Nick and I sat together in the audience, without wiggly daughters, for the very first time. Now everything waits in a still hush. The girls finally asleep and dreaming of presents tomorrow, my house is awash in the promise of advent now fulfilled. Nick and I have sipped on the elderberry cordial that I made from the bounty of our bush this fall... and life is good. May we never stop looking for wonder in our world or celebrating the unexpected!

Calm Before The Storm?

I can’t believe December has flown by even faster than November. Where has the time gone? Rushing from one event to another... from Christmas concerts and staff parties to Guides and Sparks and Junior Choir... My parents once warned me that the years would go by faster as I got older and I didn’t believe them until now!

Today is the last day of quiet in my office before the girls are home for the holidays. Nick works until noon on Friday, but I am keeping the girls home for that last half day since Bethany actually would have been dismissed and back on the bus 2 hours after getting to school! I’d much rather have a PJ/Princess morning and stay in our jammies.

I always look forward to the Christmas Break with a sense of joy and also resignation. I will work on stitching now since that is easier to do up in the living room with the rest of the family. I will look forward to not waking up to an alarm every morning, but I will also miss the quiet of the house as I work on the computer when everyone is out at school.

The show in Nashville will be here before I know it! I am still trying to finalize which designs I will actually invest in printing for this show. THe tougher market right now has forced me to be much more selective about what I release, which can be a good thing. By acting as my own quality control before printing designs, I can be sure that the very best of what I produce makes it into the hands of stitchers. Quality vs. Quantity. I must keep that in mind with holiday cookies as well!!

The Magic of Storm Days...

Today was supposed to be back to back chaos. One complicated meeting and then racing over to church to help put on the Advent Retreat that I helped to plan. A snowstorm and high winds have canceled school for the day, and also the first meeting. With the roads a little iffy in the wind, I decided not to risk venturing out for the retreat either. My minister and I had touched base by phone this morning to see what we’d do and she urged me to stay home if things looked bad. Since our street only JUST got plowed out and the winds are picking up a bit, I decided to listen to that little voice that said “Be Still!”

My kids, however, are out in the backyard right now, bundled up to the gills for a romp in the snow before the winds escalate to the 90 km hour high the weather channel is calling for. Their best friends from across the street have joined them to give Lori-Ann a chance to rest. She’s been fighting pneumonia and the last thing she need right now is two energetic boys underfoot.

This is one of those moments that reminds me why I chose to do what I do from home. It helps ease the gloomy feeling from yesterday when the exchange rate on my Hoffman cheque was so pitiful and the Postal Service announced that rates on everything are going up AGAIN. Snow days can be a magical way of life telling you to just listen to the world around you and move at a slower pace. We modern humans tend to want to impose our will on the planet and have everything to be “business as usual” no matter what the weather is doing. I’m not convinced that this is always best for our bodies... or our souls.

FEELING FROZEN IN ONE SPOT...

The weather is getting colder and I do find myself wrapping my hands around warm mugs of tea more often, but these past few days, I have also felt as if I am frozen in one spot, unsure of where to move next. Not in a bad way, necessarily, just unsure.

We did have some fun on Saturday and have added a new member to our family! While going into the pet store after groceries, just so the girls could have a Pet Fix, we discovered that a new shipment of baby dwarf hamsters had just arrived that week. They were also different markings from Wuffles. I picked up one tiny one who was white with black spots who promptly tried to leap from my hands but didn’t bite the way Nipper had when we bought our first hamster last fall (who passed away after only 5 months). We are pretty sure that Jellybean (full name Jumping Jellybean Jaws according to my girls) is a little girl. she is SO tiny compared to Wuffles who has been with us for 9 months and is palm sized. Jellybean is just over 2 inches! Since we already had 2 cages, we decided to get her. Nick insists it was IMPOSSIBLE to resist 3 females looking at him with big pleading eyes!! I’ve also been told that Jellybean is in lieu of a sweater and I get this present early, but I don’t mind at all. Now begins the fun of making her even tamer and hopefully she will be as friendly as Wuffles as she learns that hands can be nice instead of scary things that scoop you out of your cage!

Just getting that all down in this entry had made me smile and feel a bit unfrozen... but I still feel like I am waiting for something, I just don’t know quite what....

Peace... Quiet... and Health AT LAST!

I’m not really sure where November went. Suddenly the end of the month is here and I am finally able to get some large blocks of work done now that Nick is back at work and I have my voice back. Last week was horrible with both of us home, feeling under the weather, yet still dealing with 2 energetic girls and all their activities. Erin’s volleyball team placed 2nd in her division, but I have yet to hear if that means more matches for playoffs etc. Swimming lessons and gymnastics just wrapped up until after the holidays and there are only 2 more weeks for Guides and Sparks. I can’t wait for the holidays just to relax a bit.

I feel way behind in deciding my lineup for Nashville, but I know that sometimes being backed into a deadline gets me to pick and narrow the field. Luggage weight restrictions and budget mean that I can’t really release more than 3 designs for that show, so I have to try to decide what stitchers will enjoy most... and that’s not always easy! At least it does keep me on my toes!

Baby Steps and Giant Leaps...

It was a whirlwind weekend... the culmination of almost 2 weeks worth of work on two iMovie slide shows for church and drawing a 36 inch square panel on Mylar drafting film so that the families who attended our Advent Festival could colour it in. It will now be able to be taped into one of the plain glass windows at church for the Advent season and easily removed afterwards.

The hardest part of all of this was leaving Nick at home for so many of the special events. This was all supposed to be family time.. and yet, you cannot cry over spilt milk. I can just be thankful that he is getting better in baby steps. Each day we see a bit of improvement and so things look hopeful. It could be so much worse. I am also learning to do a lot of things I always let him do, though I think I will draw the line at using the snow blower!! I have that artist’s fear about things that could chop off fingers. We may just call around and find out what it would cost to have our driveway plowed out this winter so that there is no risk Nick could hurt his back again while it is still healing.

I’ve also been very busy with freelance writing for our local paper. It had been a toss-up between that or supply teaching for extra income to replace what would have come from TLC and Hobby Lobby. The advantage of the writing is that it can be done at home, after the girls are in bed if necessary and I don’t have to set up after-school daycare for the girls on a sporadic basis. You don’t get a lot of warning for supply teaching, so it is hard to know when you will need the after-school care. Since sending them my resume and writing samples, I have been pleasantly busy with stories as we move into the holiday rush. Funny how all those years of copy writing just leap right back to my fingertips!

So this week will be a combination of baby steps and giant steps forward... and maybe some bunny hops in between!

Too Much To Do!

I thought that once I got through the shows in October, I’d have a breather, but for some reason stuff is colliding on top of my desk again!! To make up for some of the income that won’t be coming in from Hobby Lobby anymore, I’ve gone back to doing some advertorial writing for our local paper. Some clients just don’t like to get back to people on the phone and I find that frustrating with tight deadlines.

I’m also editing a movie to play in church this Sunday. iMovie on my Mac will let me add type and music to photos and create a wonderful slide show that I can then burn to DVD. The learning curve on this has been a bit vertical, but I am pleased with the results. What was supposed to be a whole committee working on this ended up just being me, with some help from two ladies who dug through all the old photos for me to scan in.

Nick’s back is still really locked. He went for his first physio today and is now able to walk/shuffle on his own without holding onto walls, but I don’t know how he’s going to go back to work on Monday. We see our family doctor for a follow-up tomorrow, so we’ll see what she says. Meanwhile, I am getting used to the interrupted sleep and having him underfoot during the day... but I’d give almost anything to know that he’ll get better!

Picking Up The Pieces...

It is hard watching someone you love try to inch around the house when normally they are so full of energy. All I can think of is how this must be for those who have their lived turned completely upside down by something permanent. We know, at least we hope, that Nick will get better. I see an improvement just since yesterday, but it has been so hard to see the man I love in pain and feeling helpless.

This has also been one of those coming of age moments for Erin. She is old enough to be scared by Daddy not being the big, strong invincible hero, yet also so sympathetic and helpful to me getting stuff done around the house. Both girls have been such incredible helpers that it has made a rocky weekend bearable.

I’d also forgotten what it was like to sleep in fits and starts. Helping Nick turn over or fetching water bottles in the wee hours of the morning is like being back on those 2 am feeding schedules! If I survived it twice, I can survive it again.

I am SO glad I started the blog about hopeful quotes (my blog called CandlesInTheDarkness) because searching for positive things to share with others has helped me too!

Clean Shed...Broken Husband!

There is a reason why marriage vows include those lines “For Better or Worse, In Sickness and In Health”!

Nick and I spent 3 hours this morning cleaning out the shed. We don’t have a garage attached to the house, so we’ve had a “baby barn” as they are called here in the Maritimes, or shed, to hold the seasonal items such as bikes, snowblowers, holiday decorations etc.

Lately, the shed has started to resemble my office- a place to stuff things until you need them. Since it was getting hard to move around in there to find things, we decided to haul almost everything out and really purge!! Part of my de-STUFFing project.

It was very productive, if somewhat grueling, to realize just how many half empty boxes of things had been thrown in there that, once organized, took up a LOT less space. We filled the van with a load for the dump, found several boxes to go to the church rummage sale of books or outgrown shoes that weren’t needed anymore (ever notice how kid’s dress shoes never really get worn out before their feet grow too big?) etc. I even found my cross-country skis, boots and poles!

We had a late lunch once we finished and then Nick headed up to take a warm shower to see if that would make him feel better. Unfortunately, he got sleepy instead and lay down on the bed. When he woke up, his back had seized up and he could hardly move!

He’s been hobbling around since then. We had planned to have dinner out with good friends, but instead they came over to our house and we ordered food in. Once they left, I got the girls ready for bed, Nick crawled up the stairs and I got him settled in bed. He has one of the walkie-talkies beside him to reach me while I work on the computer tonight. So much for date night!

I’m actually very glad that I didn’t got to the stitching retreat this weekend (the one I usually go to just for fun) because if he’d done the shed alone, he might have hurt himself even more.

I guess we’ll just have to see how the rest of the weekend plays out...

How Do I Explain What I Do?

I got a panicky call from Erin’s teacher on Tuesday. The parent volunteer from our school who normally helps out for the district-wide Science Olympics was unable to attend this year, so she called to see if I could fill in. As it was, Nick was also helping out with the event, so I juggled my schedule around and told her I could do it. Then, Erin and one of her classmates were chosen to fill in for 2 kids who had dropped out unexpectedly, so this morning only Bethany got on the bus and went to school. The rest of the family headed off to Science Olympics.

It was a fun day and all of the kids were really well behaved. The only thing I found odd was that several people came over at different times and said “Oh... taking a day off cross-stitching?” One of them knows that I design patterns and that I’d just been away at two shows in October, but the other two had only heard that “I did cross stitch for a living” and so were asking all kinds of questions as to how they too could get paid to stitch all day. LOL!

I gently explained that I did try to do a bit of stitching on models every day if possible (sometimes it isn’t) but that I mostly designed the patterns, shipped orders, programmed my website, answered e-mail, filed receipts, did freelance graphics, writing, editing and illustration as well. I hate to burst someone’s bubble, but it also isn’t realistic to let someone get a warped idea of what stitching (either as a model stitcher or as a designer) actually pays. I know most of my model stitchers do not count on their income from stitching to support themselves!

Perhaps someday, I will come up with a simple way to explain what I do for a living. Until then, I am just glad to have something that allows me to be flexible with my hours. Erin and her team were on the local news tonight and may also be in the paper tomorrow. She is just thrilled...

My Ways Are Not Your Ways...

I know that sounds more like a sermon title than a blog entry, but I’ve just spent the past hour explaining to my 10 year old daughter that she doesn’t have to find a boyfriend just because the other girls in her grade 5 class are trying to pair off with boys!

I can remember that ache of being so much taller than everyone else... so bad at anything athletic... so much into books and art instead of gossip games... and yet, still wanting somehow to “fit in” or be like everyone else, even though no one else was really sure what that meant either.

It’s really quite horrible the pressure our world places on all of us. To be thin, to be wealthy, to be popular, to be famous, to be powerful... It seems as if more and more kids are trying to accomplish everything before the end of their teens!!

What a far cry from the community we truly long to be part of... where we are valued for who we are, not what we look like, for how we treat others instead of how much we earn. Think of the fine examples of being neighbours such as Amish barn raisings, quilting circles, prayer groups, book clubs, knitting or stitching groups where that sense of belonging or helping one another still exists.

People wonder why I tell them that crafting is SO important. When you slow down and take the time to create something with your hands, you have the chance to ponder the deeper issues, to listen for the still small voices, to spend time with those you care about and share burdens... or recharge your batteries with much needed alone time. We cannot always run at a frantic pace trying to keep up to some imaginary pace setter on the track ahead of us! How awful to always be looking over your shoulder to see if someone is about to pass you!

I may never know how much Erin actually heard from me tonight. Perhaps the most important thing she will remember is that I took the time to listen. I did try to encourage her to just start finding out who she really is instead of changing herself to try to fit in or make someone like her. Words that it took me almost half my lifetime to believe for myself and the second part of my lifetime to champion.

Each of us is totally unique and wondrous in this Universe. We can bring gifts, insights, talents, wisdom, compassion and all manner of things into the world that NO ONE else can do just the same way. Find your own voice and then sing with all your soul. It shouldn’t matter if it is perfectly in tune!

In The Company Of Friends...

There is something to be said about the company of good friends. Nick and I went over to set up for our church’s pancake breakfast, which takes place tomorrow, and one of our friends offered to let our girls and their three daughters play together at her house instead of running around the church while we were all trying to set up tables. The girls had a wonderful time and then we stayed to chat while the kids finished watching a movie.

There is something so precious about spending time in the company of people you enjoy. It restores something deep in your soul to compare notes with other parents and discover that you aren’t the only ones who go through the challenges that rearing responsible children entails.

Friday nights are usually “date night” because when you have a home-based business, it is too easy to disappear to the office all the time. Tonight we shared that “date” with good friends and still felt connected.

It was a productive day getting packages ready to mail out tomorrow. Of the 22 orders I shipped out for the “I’ll Make My Own Happy Ending” design, it turns out that 5 never made it to the stores in question. Those are horrible odds, but what else can I do except send it again? I sure wish that our two postal systems worked better together!!

Finally Getting Tidy!

Today was productive and the garbage bags prove I have less stuff in the house than I did this morning. Nothing like knowing you’ll be having people visiting your home to make you tackle the piles that you’d normally ask your family to function around!

Now, there’s just my office to tidy and that is already underway. I had some patterns to get ready for Hoffman, so after sweeping everything from my desk to the floor to sort, I set the printer in the other room to chug away at printing out covers. I should be able to do a run to the post office if my allergy testing doesn’t take too long tomorrow. I am pretty sure that the trigger is either whey protein concentrate or potassium sorbate, but we’ll see.

There is something so therapeutic about not seeing clutter everywhere you look... so why do we let our lives get so cluttered up anyway? I am trying to coax Bethany into sleeping with less stuffed animals on the bed, but she insists on having the heap of 20 odd stuffies lined up against the wall to snuggle with. Ah well... I’ve been fighting that clutter bug in me for as long as I can remember and am only now learning at 40 how to get everything in its place. Maybe they will learn that earlier!

I Hate The Day After Halloween!!

OK... maybe hate is a pretty strong word. Last night was quite possibly the most glorious night for Trick or Treating that my kids have ever experienced. For once there was no bitter wind, no snow, sleet or rain, but rather a suddenly balmy temperature as many people decided to sit outside on their front steps with the bowl of candy to savour this last gift or warmth before winter makes its presence felt. This was the first year that Bethany was able to keep up with Erin and not have to go back to the house early. They each had a friend along for the cruise around our neighbourhood. Since the forecast had called for a 60 percent chance of rain, I had decided earlier in the day not to spend 2 hours painting myself green for She-Hulk, but I did don the wig, put on my medieval top and boots with my black jeans to saunter around with the kids. The fact that I ended up holding a witch’s broom and hat for Bethany’s friend only added to the general weirdness. At least my friend Cheryl wore the white feather boa that her daughter quickly discarded. That would NOT have been warrior-like at all.

What I found hardest about last night was the candy insanity that only seems to grow more intense every year. We put off buying the treats until Saturday. I was very well behaved as long as the bags were all sealed until I began filling the bowl near the door at 4pm yesterday afternoon. By 4:05, I knew I was in trouble. I had a tiny taste to make sure that none of the candy was stale and then set to making sure we all ate a healthy supper. Sweets are one of my biggest downfalls and getting to pick what I wanted from their bags as my “Mom Tax” for a tiny pile of treats to enjoy was such fun. The girls sorted out their candy and divided it in to two piles: The “I must keep this” and the “Ewwww! I don’t like those!” piles. I let them each keep a dozen tiny bags of chips, Doritos or cheesies and then the wretched excess went back into our bowl to hand out. A small grocery bag for each of them was then properly labeled so that there will be no confusion as to whose bag is whose. After a late night snack and far too much stalling, I got them off to bed and managed to foist the remainder of the chips and candy off on a herd of gangly teenagers that were sauntering down the street. Imagine their surprise when this tall woman in warrior garb threw open a door and bellowed down the street at them. “Do you want the last of our treats?” The ensuing stampede was quite impressive, but the “Gee thanks, Ma’am!” was like a shot of cold water to the ego. A nibble or two from my Mom Tax pile helped a bit.

The cold reality of the day after hit like a ton of bricks this morning as I stared at the wrappers I had left on the shelf near my seat. I lined them up like so many tiny body bags to take stock of what I had actually consumed. The points count was scary... but it fit right in with the topic I had to share with the Weight Watchers group I lead ever Tuesday. Confession time... Leaders are not perfect! I have learned once again that I am just far better off when the treats I give out are something that I cannot stand, That way the only nibbling I do is from the Mom Tax pile.

I wonder how badly egged the house would get next year if I gave out the sticker sheets I saw at Wal-mart? Then again... with a husband who may be a principal next year, it might be hard to be sure what exactly triggered the eggings.

Sigh! Time to give the tiny wrappers a decent burial in my garbage bag and move on.

Going Back To The Beginning...

I found my voice... then I lost it. I found a new path in the woods and thought that every step had to be a grand adventure, but that led me to forget why I had set out on this journey in the first place.

When I first started Dragon Musings, I wanted it to be a glimpse into the everyday life of a singe cross stitch designer... me. While I am great friends with a few other talented people in the industry, the only career I can really comment on is my own. When so many of the pattern sharers were accusing designers of wallowing in cash, being huge companies that didn’t care about stitchers or trying to otherwise justify stealing designs, I felt a realistic look into what I have chosen to try to do for a living was warranted.

But somewhere along the line I got distracted. I worried that if I complained too much, I would sound like I was whining... a trait that I am trying to curb in Bethany right now, so I should set the example. I also didn’t want to burst the bubble for aspiring designers by letting them know what a struggle it is to make ends meet some months, even after a dozen years of designing. I wanted stitchers to see the ordinary side of me, that designers are real people too, we just happen to be crazy enough to want to earn a living from something we used to do just for fun and relaxation.

One of my greatest thrills is to be able to do what I love for a living, but as my girls get a bit older and I have time to diversify back into illustration, I am going to chase that dream as well, especially since the needlework market is, shall we politely say, a bit soft?

Which in a roundabout way brings me back to why I suddenly realized how much I need this blog to head back to its beginnings... a more regular glimpse into the crazy career I have chosen. No more waiting until I think I have something important to say... it’d only be a puff of smoke anyway! No more wondering about implications and tone... blogging is all about the moment in which you write that entry. It gets nailed out there in cyberspace and captures that moment in time much as my personal journal entries anchor my thoughts to paper and clarify who I was at the time I wrote an entry. If time is fluid and we are always given the chance to change with every second that we breathe and our heart still beats, it is better to just get out there and live each moment, as ordinary or incredible as they may be, instead of waiting for the PERFECT moment and then look back to see how much we have missed in the meantime.

As an offshoot of this blog, I also started one up today called Candles In The Darkness that I plan to fill with quotes, inspirational stuff and messages of hope to counteract all the negative out there. I am going to have fun hunting for stuff that inspires me!

Off Again...

Another early morning flight ahead of me tomorrow, another tearful goodnight to Bethany and Erin. This time, there will be no Nanny and Grr to add a balance, but there are birthday parties and Guiding events for poor Nick to get the girls to.

I am sure that once I get there, the excitement will kick in. Right now, I know why I usually go into “quiet mode” after a show. It does take something out of you even as it recharges you. I am looking forward to the new experience of a retreat I have never done before in a pretty part of the world and seeing some familiar faces there. I just don’t want to have to do the 4:00 am wake-up!

The Dragon Finds Her Voice Again...

My grandmother always told me that if I couldn’t say anything nice... I shouldn’t say it. With the recent upheavals in the needlework industry and the strength of the Canadian dollar hurting the fact that most of my income comes in US dollars, I haven’t really felt like I had much to say that was positive. I did promise that Dragon Musings would be a look inside the head of a designer and a realistic look into my life... but I just couldn’t bear to whine and complain when I am still SO much more fortunate that many on the rest of this planet. Watching all of the natural disasters around the world has convinced me that snowstorms really aren’t that awful!

The second thing that helped me find my voice again was spending time teaching at the Creative Sewing and Needlework Festival up in Toronto last weekend. It will now be known as the CreativFestival, which is probably more appropriate. It now encompasses everything from quilting and needlework to beading, basket weaving, scrapbooking and much more. While a few people lamented that there just wasn’t enough needlework, I thought that the strength of the show was the ability to reach out to such a wide audience of creative people. Seeing the faces of stitchers who have not only been students over the years but also become friends, reminded me of all the best this industry has to offer. Giving a lecture on how to not only improve the look of your crafts, but also understand why taking the time to craft is SO important to our spirit and our health, was a vibrant reminder to me to heed my own words and treasure my own calling.

In getting the website overhauled and broadened to reflect the true scope of all that I do, I have taken my stand that what I really do as an artist, is to try to create images that reach out and speak to people. Sometimes, it will be with a needle and thread, while others may be with painted rocks or watercolour illustrations.

The Ebay auction for the first two wizard rocks, Orion and Malachai, go live October 19th (Items #7358945644 and 7358947574) . It will be fun to see what the response is to them, if any. Like any business person, I need to constantly perfect and adapt what I do... or be open to new markets when a pathway narrows or a door gets slammed in your face. If you never take the risk of spreading your wings... you will never get the joy of knowing what it means to fly.