Vertical Learning Curves vs. Roller Coasters
The funny thing about vertical learning curves and roller coasters is that they both leave you feeling kind of queasy! With roller coasters, you pay to go on some large metal ride where you are constantly wondering if the safety features will work properly as you scream your head off on a thrilling, stomach churning and thankfully brief ride.
Vertical learning curves produce much of the same sensations at times but with your feet safely planted on the ground. The same sense of dizziness, stomach churning and doubts... but sometimes this ride lasts longer.... or at least the headache from cramming too much information into your brain at one time lasts longer than a roller coaster ride!
Ever since the information about Multiply.com broke just over a week ago, I have found my days filled not only with my usual work, but hours of learning legal terms, finding out about where and how sites are set up without the proper safety checks in place, checking with some of my friends who know computers far better than I do about how information can be tracked back to the right people, bringing the INRG Legal Defense Fund Committee up to speed on what has been happening in our industry. The first time this pattern sharing started, a whole bunch of designers used their talents to create a book called Celebrations of Stitching. It was not only meant to use our donated talents in a creative way to educate stitchers, but it was also a fundraiser so that we would have money as an industry to take legal action at some point. Perhaps the time has finally come.
It has been hard using energy and time on stuff that I’d rather not learn or have to deal with. My e-mail addy also got added to a list-serve that backfired and got stuck in an endless loop, but for a day or so, we thought that someone had hacked into my computer and used it to send out e-mails because I kept getting replies to replies to... you get the picture. It was odd that many of the companies e-mailing me were from the same country as one of the people I complained about to Multiply.com, but maybe that is just coincidence. I’d rather think the best of people if given a chance. Perhaps this is why the willful abuse of my copyrights by a small but determined group of people is still so baffling and hurtful to me.
Ultimately, we each live by our own moral codes and with our lives as a legacy to what we each believe. That is one of the reasons that Soli Deo Gloria appears on each chart I design and self-publish. That is why I cannot pretend to be someone that I am not. When I investigate a group, I go in as myself.
David Phelps song “Something’s Gotta Change” from his Life is a Church album has kept me sane this past week and is often blaring out of my Mac. It has become the theme song for this season of my life. Hate has to be met with kindness and love, but that does not mean you have to be a victim. I have already looked in the past year at reducing the amount of designing that I do to concentrate on other things that are either more profitable or less difficult to steal from me. Even if I decide to stop designing when I reach my hundredth design soon, I will have left behind a legacy of images that I am so proud of. I have heard from stitchers all over the world in the past 12 years who have enjoyed stitching my designs and that is more than most artists get in their lifetimes.
I also know that I just cannot walk away from an industry I love and still believe in. Something has to change in our society... in how we deal with what is right and wrong... in how things are evolving as we move to a more globally wired community. If I end up feeling called to speak out socially, legally and legislatively or founding a group to lobby for changes to copyright issues and privacy laws that let thieves hide behind false identities. Perhaps then a day will come when someone who creates any image, song, story or item that brings beauty to our world doesn’t have to worry about how quickly people will steal that for their own savings or profit.
It may be a roller coaster ride... and some vertical learning headaches...but that’s what makes life interesting!!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
Ding..Dong..The BOX Is Dead!
Yay! At last! The BOX is dead! Never will I let a large box like that be a place to just toss stuff until I can deal with it. I will deal with it all and get it in its place because the few moments it takes to do that are so much better than dealing with tons of tiny things from receipts to skeins of half used floss to old cards, letters, invoices, receipts, beads and other weird stuff. Now the cardboard box is holding all my sorted brown envelopes ready to go to the accountant as soon as I do the totals for each category. Then, I think this new person is going to help me get set up on a better system to look at categories on a quarterly basis and see how things are going.
It nice to be able to focus on the little successes and the little steps forward when it feels like so much of this past week has been backsliding. Its looking as if some of the infringers on multiply.com are indeed Canadians and that makes me both sad and angry. The size of our population spread over the vastness of our country does mean that sometimes stitchers have to travel great distances to reach a store or mail order/on-line order, but the very idea of using our geography as an excuse for their actions is a bit repugnant to me. I can still remember the excitement of reading the r.c.t.n when I first discovered that there were on-line communities where you could talk about your love of stitching, learn new tips or tricks, find out about new releases or designs that were in the works. Sadly, somewhere along the line with the changes in technology, scanned patterns began to be shared as well.
One stitcher sent me a brilliant poster from the French designers association. It showed a blank graph on the poster with the caption “without designers, this is what your pattern would look like!” It was brilliant, simply brilliant.
We say as an industry that we need to encourage the next generation of young stitchers... but who will they learn from? Will their first introduction to stitching be sharing information or patterns? Unless we speak out, unless we make changes to what is acceptable legally, morally and ethically, this type of behaviour may become the norm instead of the exception. At least I know that my children are learning differently, because they are seeing first hand what effect copyright infringements can have.
Yay! At last! The BOX is dead! Never will I let a large box like that be a place to just toss stuff until I can deal with it. I will deal with it all and get it in its place because the few moments it takes to do that are so much better than dealing with tons of tiny things from receipts to skeins of half used floss to old cards, letters, invoices, receipts, beads and other weird stuff. Now the cardboard box is holding all my sorted brown envelopes ready to go to the accountant as soon as I do the totals for each category. Then, I think this new person is going to help me get set up on a better system to look at categories on a quarterly basis and see how things are going.
It nice to be able to focus on the little successes and the little steps forward when it feels like so much of this past week has been backsliding. Its looking as if some of the infringers on multiply.com are indeed Canadians and that makes me both sad and angry. The size of our population spread over the vastness of our country does mean that sometimes stitchers have to travel great distances to reach a store or mail order/on-line order, but the very idea of using our geography as an excuse for their actions is a bit repugnant to me. I can still remember the excitement of reading the r.c.t.n when I first discovered that there were on-line communities where you could talk about your love of stitching, learn new tips or tricks, find out about new releases or designs that were in the works. Sadly, somewhere along the line with the changes in technology, scanned patterns began to be shared as well.
One stitcher sent me a brilliant poster from the French designers association. It showed a blank graph on the poster with the caption “without designers, this is what your pattern would look like!” It was brilliant, simply brilliant.
We say as an industry that we need to encourage the next generation of young stitchers... but who will they learn from? Will their first introduction to stitching be sharing information or patterns? Unless we speak out, unless we make changes to what is acceptable legally, morally and ethically, this type of behaviour may become the norm instead of the exception. At least I know that my children are learning differently, because they are seeing first hand what effect copyright infringements can have.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Productive Anger Is Better Than A Pity Party!
Nothing makes you more productive that a good mad. I had my Pity Party last night when I wrote my blog and cried all over the keyboard. The girls and Nick all gave me big hugs when I calmed down enough to just look blotchy. Talk about a great teaching example for the girls. They see first hand how supposedly innocent sharing or downloading really hurts the person who created the magic in the first place and will therefore speak up among their friends. They know to spend an iTunes card and buy the downloads rather than steal them.
Ironically, discovering these sites came just after booking our flights for the trade show in Charlotte this summer and writing up the entry for the show guide which announced the release of my most complex design ever this summer. It is called “Santa’s Dragon” and the thought that there will be people just waiting to share that illegally as soon as they get their hands on a copy was almost more than I could bear. One poster on the Multiply site last night was raving about getting a copy of Stargazer a full 20 days before her shop in Europe would have it and now she could stitch it for free!! I was ready to just turn my site black and walk away. Why bother designing a product that is so easy to steal? Why invest the time, effort and money to create a quality product when there are people out there who have so little respect for what you do that they have to yell at you when you defend the rights of your own work and continue to steal?
This morning, however, I had a chance to move from sorrow to anger. I also felt the support from stitchers as they e-mailed their support having read my blog last night. So, instead, I set up my own page on at http://dragondreamsjen.multiply.com with a blog and a copy of the Copyrights & Copywrongs poster that I designed for the INRG (since I am the copyright holder) so that hopefully some of the stitchers who don’t realize that what they are doing is wrong can learn what they may or may not legally do. I also wrote a blog entry there and will keep that up as a portal/presence on Multiply.
I was able to write Cease & Desist letters to all of the sites that had my images on them, except for a Japanese one, as well as report those users for Terms Of Service violations. I wrote my local Member of Parliament to see how I can get involved furthering copyright issues in Canada, contacted the people who put together the Creative Sewing and Needlework Festival in Toronto to see if we can’t bring this before the media a bit during one of the shows this year, came up with some game plans that fellow designers and I could use to make the companies such as Yahoo and Multiply more aware of the abuse going on, complained to a few of the advertisers that had ads which Google placed on those sites to let them know how their ad dollars were being associated with, talked to our local ISP about ways to dig for identity information and find out about joining one of the groups that works with Interpol and the RCMP here in Canada.
All in all, it was a productive day in terms of trying to defend my artwork and copyrights. It didn’t let me get to the end of THE BOX, nor do any designing, but at least it has made me shelve the idea of becoming a goat herder on a tropical island. Last night that held a lot of appeal. At least if times are tough you can eat a goat. Leaflets aren’t tasty, even with ketchup!
Nothing makes you more productive that a good mad. I had my Pity Party last night when I wrote my blog and cried all over the keyboard. The girls and Nick all gave me big hugs when I calmed down enough to just look blotchy. Talk about a great teaching example for the girls. They see first hand how supposedly innocent sharing or downloading really hurts the person who created the magic in the first place and will therefore speak up among their friends. They know to spend an iTunes card and buy the downloads rather than steal them.
Ironically, discovering these sites came just after booking our flights for the trade show in Charlotte this summer and writing up the entry for the show guide which announced the release of my most complex design ever this summer. It is called “Santa’s Dragon” and the thought that there will be people just waiting to share that illegally as soon as they get their hands on a copy was almost more than I could bear. One poster on the Multiply site last night was raving about getting a copy of Stargazer a full 20 days before her shop in Europe would have it and now she could stitch it for free!! I was ready to just turn my site black and walk away. Why bother designing a product that is so easy to steal? Why invest the time, effort and money to create a quality product when there are people out there who have so little respect for what you do that they have to yell at you when you defend the rights of your own work and continue to steal?
This morning, however, I had a chance to move from sorrow to anger. I also felt the support from stitchers as they e-mailed their support having read my blog last night. So, instead, I set up my own page on at http://dragondreamsjen.multiply.com with a blog and a copy of the Copyrights & Copywrongs poster that I designed for the INRG (since I am the copyright holder) so that hopefully some of the stitchers who don’t realize that what they are doing is wrong can learn what they may or may not legally do. I also wrote a blog entry there and will keep that up as a portal/presence on Multiply.
I was able to write Cease & Desist letters to all of the sites that had my images on them, except for a Japanese one, as well as report those users for Terms Of Service violations. I wrote my local Member of Parliament to see how I can get involved furthering copyright issues in Canada, contacted the people who put together the Creative Sewing and Needlework Festival in Toronto to see if we can’t bring this before the media a bit during one of the shows this year, came up with some game plans that fellow designers and I could use to make the companies such as Yahoo and Multiply more aware of the abuse going on, complained to a few of the advertisers that had ads which Google placed on those sites to let them know how their ad dollars were being associated with, talked to our local ISP about ways to dig for identity information and find out about joining one of the groups that works with Interpol and the RCMP here in Canada.
All in all, it was a productive day in terms of trying to defend my artwork and copyrights. It didn’t let me get to the end of THE BOX, nor do any designing, but at least it has made me shelve the idea of becoming a goat herder on a tropical island. Last night that held a lot of appeal. At least if times are tough you can eat a goat. Leaflets aren’t tasty, even with ketchup!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I WIsh I Had The Energy To Get Angry...
I know that will come in the morning. By then the urge to just curl up in a ball in my office and have a good cry will have passed, and I will be ready to deal with the reality that I create things that are easy to steal.
Right now, all I can do is blog. After a day spent doing what I hate the most, trying to sort out invoices and run my business properly, I get e-mails from fellow designers who have found 3 huge sites trading thousands of cross stitch patterns, including many of mine. I am starting to realize that while most stitchers are indeed honest people,a few bad apples have the potential and technology to totally decimate this industry. Sadly as well, when Linn Skinner and her friends first raised this issue in 2001, the industry turned a blind eye and key players in the industry have continued to do so. Now, just a scant 5 years later, I am slowly coming to the realization that it may be just too late to close that barn door. Companies like Leisure Arts, Disney and other giants in the industry failed to pay attention to warnings and prosecute copyright infringers because they didn’t want to look like the “bad guys”. But tonight, I can stare at page after page after page of copyrighted material, with my carefully crafted copyright statements that were just ignored as they were scanned in.
I know the hoops that I am going to have to go through to get these removed. I know the faxes that I will have to send long distance to some copyright agent to prove that this is indeed my own stuff. I know that the true identities of those who are doing this will never be revealed, even though I never bother to hide who I am... and I know that copies of those files have already been “shared” so many times that I cannot possibly blot them all out.
Yet all someone who wants to steal from me needs to do is go surfing, or scan an image and set up a site in a few minutes to share something with the world that they had no hand, so sweat, no effort in creating.
I wish I could get angry. Maybe by tomorrow I will be able to. Right now, all I can do is weep.
I know that will come in the morning. By then the urge to just curl up in a ball in my office and have a good cry will have passed, and I will be ready to deal with the reality that I create things that are easy to steal.
Right now, all I can do is blog. After a day spent doing what I hate the most, trying to sort out invoices and run my business properly, I get e-mails from fellow designers who have found 3 huge sites trading thousands of cross stitch patterns, including many of mine. I am starting to realize that while most stitchers are indeed honest people,a few bad apples have the potential and technology to totally decimate this industry. Sadly as well, when Linn Skinner and her friends first raised this issue in 2001, the industry turned a blind eye and key players in the industry have continued to do so. Now, just a scant 5 years later, I am slowly coming to the realization that it may be just too late to close that barn door. Companies like Leisure Arts, Disney and other giants in the industry failed to pay attention to warnings and prosecute copyright infringers because they didn’t want to look like the “bad guys”. But tonight, I can stare at page after page after page of copyrighted material, with my carefully crafted copyright statements that were just ignored as they were scanned in.
I know the hoops that I am going to have to go through to get these removed. I know the faxes that I will have to send long distance to some copyright agent to prove that this is indeed my own stuff. I know that the true identities of those who are doing this will never be revealed, even though I never bother to hide who I am... and I know that copies of those files have already been “shared” so many times that I cannot possibly blot them all out.
Yet all someone who wants to steal from me needs to do is go surfing, or scan an image and set up a site in a few minutes to share something with the world that they had no hand, so sweat, no effort in creating.
I wish I could get angry. Maybe by tomorrow I will be able to. Right now, all I can do is weep.
Creative Types and Order... or Bag, Spawn of Box
I refuse to let chaos win!! It turns out that THE BOX has spawned a Bag!! I have no idea where the bag came from, but as I was getting down to the bottom of THE BOX, there was a bag, stuffed full of its own mess of receipts, papers, paid bills, notes, sketches, bits of fabric and fibers... some dating back to 2003?? Perhaps BAG is the Mother of the Box?
I shudder at this proof that if chaos is left long enough in a forgotten corner of my office, it will reproduce. This is worse that dust bunnies!!
Actually, this is one of my worst nightmares. For as long as I can remember, I have hated tidying. Oh, I love the order it produces, and I love the sense of knowing where everything is for the day or so it seems to last. I guess that means that I’ve always been a messy, cluttered child. I can remember being sent to my room in order to deal with a desk or surface that finally had to be dealt with, usually right before a favourite TV program was due to come on as an added incentive for speed. Once or twice a year, the second closet in my bedroom, where I tossed everything I didn’t immediately need during these desk and bureau tidies, would have to be dealt with and it felt much the same as it does to me now. It makes me want to SCREAM!
Of course, having iTunes on Party Shuffle has made things more bearable today. I never realized what an eclectic mix of music that Nick and I own until Josh Groban and Great Big Sea followed Louis Armstrong and Johnny Cash with a little Kate Bush, Queen and Earth, Wind and Fire sandwiched in there!
The sense of satisfaction is also growing as yet another blue garbage bag (dry paper recyclables) of shredded paper I no longer need fills in the middle of my floor and each receipt gets safely into its proper brown paper envelope, but it has started me thinking about being creative and seeking order.
Are most creative types messier by nature? There will certainly be exceptions to that generalization, just as there are exceptions to every stereotype, but is there something in our brains that make those intuitive leaps or juggle lots of textures, ideas and thoughts around at once that make us more prone to clutter or the act of leaving things unfinished? If I try to train myself, can I make myself take the time to get each receipt which comes into my office filed away in its proper place instead of just setting it down on the desk to deal with later? What invariably happens is that I need to clear the desk, so I set the still undealt with pile somewhere else.... and eventually, you have THE BOX!
There.... the BAG has officially been put to rest. Now there is just the rest of THE BOX to deal with. I must go up and get some lunch first, however, or I will never have the strength to push on an vanquish this foe! (Imagine heroic James Horner music in the background as I lift myself off the carpeted cement floor and discover just what it feels like to have a 36 inch inseam worth of leg go pins and needles!)
I refuse to let chaos win!! It turns out that THE BOX has spawned a Bag!! I have no idea where the bag came from, but as I was getting down to the bottom of THE BOX, there was a bag, stuffed full of its own mess of receipts, papers, paid bills, notes, sketches, bits of fabric and fibers... some dating back to 2003?? Perhaps BAG is the Mother of the Box?
I shudder at this proof that if chaos is left long enough in a forgotten corner of my office, it will reproduce. This is worse that dust bunnies!!
Actually, this is one of my worst nightmares. For as long as I can remember, I have hated tidying. Oh, I love the order it produces, and I love the sense of knowing where everything is for the day or so it seems to last. I guess that means that I’ve always been a messy, cluttered child. I can remember being sent to my room in order to deal with a desk or surface that finally had to be dealt with, usually right before a favourite TV program was due to come on as an added incentive for speed. Once or twice a year, the second closet in my bedroom, where I tossed everything I didn’t immediately need during these desk and bureau tidies, would have to be dealt with and it felt much the same as it does to me now. It makes me want to SCREAM!
Of course, having iTunes on Party Shuffle has made things more bearable today. I never realized what an eclectic mix of music that Nick and I own until Josh Groban and Great Big Sea followed Louis Armstrong and Johnny Cash with a little Kate Bush, Queen and Earth, Wind and Fire sandwiched in there!
The sense of satisfaction is also growing as yet another blue garbage bag (dry paper recyclables) of shredded paper I no longer need fills in the middle of my floor and each receipt gets safely into its proper brown paper envelope, but it has started me thinking about being creative and seeking order.
Are most creative types messier by nature? There will certainly be exceptions to that generalization, just as there are exceptions to every stereotype, but is there something in our brains that make those intuitive leaps or juggle lots of textures, ideas and thoughts around at once that make us more prone to clutter or the act of leaving things unfinished? If I try to train myself, can I make myself take the time to get each receipt which comes into my office filed away in its proper place instead of just setting it down on the desk to deal with later? What invariably happens is that I need to clear the desk, so I set the still undealt with pile somewhere else.... and eventually, you have THE BOX!
There.... the BAG has officially been put to rest. Now there is just the rest of THE BOX to deal with. I must go up and get some lunch first, however, or I will never have the strength to push on an vanquish this foe! (Imagine heroic James Horner music in the background as I lift myself off the carpeted cement floor and discover just what it feels like to have a 36 inch inseam worth of leg go pins and needles!)
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Community...Where Is Yours?
I’d planned to write about something else today. Yesterday a touch of some bug had me feeling shivery, achy and total unproductive, so I went to bed at the same time as Erin and slept the night through.
This afternoon, one of Bethany’s friends got off the bus and came home with her in tears because her baby-sitter hadn’t been out at the bus stop to pick her up. Lindsay and Bethany are in the same class and our families share the bus stop every day, so her mom and I have swapped off before, especially if I’ve been at trade shows. This was indeed a daycare day, but no one was there to pick her up... no wonder she was in a panic about what to do!
So I’ve called everyone I need to in order to sort this out and the girls are playing happily upstairs. We’ll get to homework in a few minutes, but it made me realize two things....
One, as hard or frustrating as it is to work from home some days, this is a time when it is really worth it.
Second, when something happens that is unexpected, having a sense of community with my neighbours is really what the word community is all about.
Where is your community? How have you reached out to be a part of your surroundings? It takes a bit of effort and trust to make friends or even casual acquaintances with the people in your neighbourhood, but then in times of trial, you have others to lean on. I can remember a scary night a few years ago when one of our neighbour’s houses caught fire just after Christmas. Luckily the home was saved and the top floor could be rebuilt/repaired, but the kids lost quite a few of their presents, clothes got damaged etc. The outpouring from the community in terms of help, food, clothing etc. was immediate and appreciated.
This morning I learned of the Cyclone that hit Queensland, Australia on Monday morning. While it is half a world away from me here, I am still keenly aware that this too is my community in a way. I have lots of fans in Australia that e-mail me about my designs and so I am thinking of them as their lives are suddenly turned upside down. I am also reminded that we are all one community on this precious planet. It does seem that with all these incredible changes in our weather patterns and disasters, we are pushing our poor home to the brink of what it can bear. What is MY responsibility in all this to keep my community safe? The challenge is to never lose sight of what each of us can do so that the homes around us and the homes on the far side of the planet grow to be nurturing communities where we can thrive!
I’d planned to write about something else today. Yesterday a touch of some bug had me feeling shivery, achy and total unproductive, so I went to bed at the same time as Erin and slept the night through.
This afternoon, one of Bethany’s friends got off the bus and came home with her in tears because her baby-sitter hadn’t been out at the bus stop to pick her up. Lindsay and Bethany are in the same class and our families share the bus stop every day, so her mom and I have swapped off before, especially if I’ve been at trade shows. This was indeed a daycare day, but no one was there to pick her up... no wonder she was in a panic about what to do!
So I’ve called everyone I need to in order to sort this out and the girls are playing happily upstairs. We’ll get to homework in a few minutes, but it made me realize two things....
One, as hard or frustrating as it is to work from home some days, this is a time when it is really worth it.
Second, when something happens that is unexpected, having a sense of community with my neighbours is really what the word community is all about.
Where is your community? How have you reached out to be a part of your surroundings? It takes a bit of effort and trust to make friends or even casual acquaintances with the people in your neighbourhood, but then in times of trial, you have others to lean on. I can remember a scary night a few years ago when one of our neighbour’s houses caught fire just after Christmas. Luckily the home was saved and the top floor could be rebuilt/repaired, but the kids lost quite a few of their presents, clothes got damaged etc. The outpouring from the community in terms of help, food, clothing etc. was immediate and appreciated.
This morning I learned of the Cyclone that hit Queensland, Australia on Monday morning. While it is half a world away from me here, I am still keenly aware that this too is my community in a way. I have lots of fans in Australia that e-mail me about my designs and so I am thinking of them as their lives are suddenly turned upside down. I am also reminded that we are all one community on this precious planet. It does seem that with all these incredible changes in our weather patterns and disasters, we are pushing our poor home to the brink of what it can bear. What is MY responsibility in all this to keep my community safe? The challenge is to never lose sight of what each of us can do so that the homes around us and the homes on the far side of the planet grow to be nurturing communities where we can thrive!
Friday, March 17, 2006
CREATIVE DAYS VS. PRODUCTIVE DAYS...
This week has been extremely productive... and that got me to thinking about the difference between creativity and productivity, especially in our insanely achievement driven society. This week was all about facing tasks which needed to be done, even though part of me wanted to stay in “vacation mode”. The more I tackled, the better I started to feel as a bag of clutter went out the door on garbage night, laundry from the trip got done and everything got put away. Yesterday and today are devoted to spreading out every receipt I’ve filed away by category all year long , totaling them and putting them into large, brown manilla envelopes to hand over to my accountant for corporate taxes. Hey... at least I’m not a shoe box full of paper kind of girl. My mom always filed things away and could find things when she needed them. I have a very deeply buried inner Virgo (supposedly the tidiest of the zodiac) and clutter still tried to win the battle, but I like knowing where things are. I have come to one important conclusion in the past year... it would be much easier to find things and keep track of them if I had less STUFF!
Productivity is all about accomplishing tasks... and when the tasks seem too overwhelming, it is often tempting to avoid them, but that really doesn’t help in the long run. So I have had my itunes blasting on my eMac while I try to carpet the floor with odd bits of paper and sort them out again. My files were easy enough to sort through, keeping the current year bits in there and putting the others into the assigned envelopes, but dealing with THE BOX was harder.
Do you have one of those “throw it there now and deal with it later” holders? Mine is a photocopy paper box on the floor of my office that has been there since we redid the place last year. Instead of reams of paper, it holds all the fiddly little bits of paper, receipts, notes, statements and stuff that I “meant to get to”. Often stuff piles up on the kitchen table or counter upstairs. When it gets to be too unbearable, I sort it out, toss out the junk, sort it further into Dragon Dreams stuff and family stuff, then the business stuff comes down to the office. In theory, it should get sorted right there into what it needs... but this past year as I wrestled with fear and procrastination, it often just got chucked into THE BOX. The warped logic behind having it all in one place was that if I lost something, I had one place to rummage through instead of several.
So now I am tackling THE BOX, just in case there are receipts that could be important to this year’s corporate tax return. I am absolutely hating every minute of it, except for the sense of accomplishment and freedom it is giving me as stuff goes where it belongs... or into the trash.
Creativity isn’t about how much you get done and sometimes recharging your creative batteries is all about taking time to be... but creative types also need to remember that accomplishing important tasks is part of treating this as a career, a calling and a business... instead of just a hobby.
This week has been extremely productive... and that got me to thinking about the difference between creativity and productivity, especially in our insanely achievement driven society. This week was all about facing tasks which needed to be done, even though part of me wanted to stay in “vacation mode”. The more I tackled, the better I started to feel as a bag of clutter went out the door on garbage night, laundry from the trip got done and everything got put away. Yesterday and today are devoted to spreading out every receipt I’ve filed away by category all year long , totaling them and putting them into large, brown manilla envelopes to hand over to my accountant for corporate taxes. Hey... at least I’m not a shoe box full of paper kind of girl. My mom always filed things away and could find things when she needed them. I have a very deeply buried inner Virgo (supposedly the tidiest of the zodiac) and clutter still tried to win the battle, but I like knowing where things are. I have come to one important conclusion in the past year... it would be much easier to find things and keep track of them if I had less STUFF!
Productivity is all about accomplishing tasks... and when the tasks seem too overwhelming, it is often tempting to avoid them, but that really doesn’t help in the long run. So I have had my itunes blasting on my eMac while I try to carpet the floor with odd bits of paper and sort them out again. My files were easy enough to sort through, keeping the current year bits in there and putting the others into the assigned envelopes, but dealing with THE BOX was harder.
Do you have one of those “throw it there now and deal with it later” holders? Mine is a photocopy paper box on the floor of my office that has been there since we redid the place last year. Instead of reams of paper, it holds all the fiddly little bits of paper, receipts, notes, statements and stuff that I “meant to get to”. Often stuff piles up on the kitchen table or counter upstairs. When it gets to be too unbearable, I sort it out, toss out the junk, sort it further into Dragon Dreams stuff and family stuff, then the business stuff comes down to the office. In theory, it should get sorted right there into what it needs... but this past year as I wrestled with fear and procrastination, it often just got chucked into THE BOX. The warped logic behind having it all in one place was that if I lost something, I had one place to rummage through instead of several.
So now I am tackling THE BOX, just in case there are receipts that could be important to this year’s corporate tax return. I am absolutely hating every minute of it, except for the sense of accomplishment and freedom it is giving me as stuff goes where it belongs... or into the trash.
Creativity isn’t about how much you get done and sometimes recharging your creative batteries is all about taking time to be... but creative types also need to remember that accomplishing important tasks is part of treating this as a career, a calling and a business... instead of just a hobby.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Pictures in My Jam Blobs and Drawing With Ketchup...
It’s funny how getting something off your chest can make you feel so lighthearted! Today was a busy day of running around to the bank and post office, getting copies for a Hoffman order picked up at Staples to batch tonight during the American Idol results show after choir practice, but it all felt very productive as well.
This morning, once I got the girls on the bus for school, I made some toast to munch on while I checked e-mail. I know, I can hear the groans about crumbs in the keyboard! In my rush to get the jam spread quickly, I dropped a blob on the counter and then stood transfixed at the cool little whale shape it made. I was about to run and get my digital camera, when I suddenly realized how odd that might be to try to capture a jam blob in pixels. Was I going to show it around like some crazy ink-blob test to see what others saw? Maybe one of the things about being an artist is to see things in almost any shape or groupings of patterns. I can remember being transfixed as a child by marbled floors, foam ceiling tiles and linoleum because I would see all kinds of things in the random patterns of the tiles.
For me, that sudden, swift desire to capture what I’d seen and show it to others is one of the cornerstones of being an artist. It is the seeing of things that others might otherwise pass by... the way the light hits the surface of a texture, the colours, the shapes or the patterns of something in the world around us. I have a whole sketchbook that is pasted full of things like that so I can sit and look through it from time to time.
This is also one of the reasons that I always try to have a tiny sketchbook in my purse and a pen to doodle with. Once, when Erin was younger than Bethany is now, we were at McDonald’s eating supper and I looked up to see a spectacular sunset with a cloud shaped like a dragon’s head backlight by the setting orange sun. I searched through my purse and pockets in vain for something to draw on and came up completely blank. Undaunted, I grabbed a white napkin, stole one of Erin’s french fries and proceeded to sketch the cloud shape onto my napkin with ketchup. I left the restaurant with the napkin held carefully on the palms of my hands so as not to blot it before I could get home and copy the shape into a sketchbook. As I walked through the restaurant and out the door, to the puzzled stares of fellow restaurant-goers, Erin just sighed behind me and said in her loudest voice possible. “Mom, you are SO embarrassing!”
Artists really can draw with almost anything and see images almost anywhere... even in jammy blobs!
It’s funny how getting something off your chest can make you feel so lighthearted! Today was a busy day of running around to the bank and post office, getting copies for a Hoffman order picked up at Staples to batch tonight during the American Idol results show after choir practice, but it all felt very productive as well.
This morning, once I got the girls on the bus for school, I made some toast to munch on while I checked e-mail. I know, I can hear the groans about crumbs in the keyboard! In my rush to get the jam spread quickly, I dropped a blob on the counter and then stood transfixed at the cool little whale shape it made. I was about to run and get my digital camera, when I suddenly realized how odd that might be to try to capture a jam blob in pixels. Was I going to show it around like some crazy ink-blob test to see what others saw? Maybe one of the things about being an artist is to see things in almost any shape or groupings of patterns. I can remember being transfixed as a child by marbled floors, foam ceiling tiles and linoleum because I would see all kinds of things in the random patterns of the tiles.
For me, that sudden, swift desire to capture what I’d seen and show it to others is one of the cornerstones of being an artist. It is the seeing of things that others might otherwise pass by... the way the light hits the surface of a texture, the colours, the shapes or the patterns of something in the world around us. I have a whole sketchbook that is pasted full of things like that so I can sit and look through it from time to time.
This is also one of the reasons that I always try to have a tiny sketchbook in my purse and a pen to doodle with. Once, when Erin was younger than Bethany is now, we were at McDonald’s eating supper and I looked up to see a spectacular sunset with a cloud shaped like a dragon’s head backlight by the setting orange sun. I searched through my purse and pockets in vain for something to draw on and came up completely blank. Undaunted, I grabbed a white napkin, stole one of Erin’s french fries and proceeded to sketch the cloud shape onto my napkin with ketchup. I left the restaurant with the napkin held carefully on the palms of my hands so as not to blot it before I could get home and copy the shape into a sketchbook. As I walked through the restaurant and out the door, to the puzzled stares of fellow restaurant-goers, Erin just sighed behind me and said in her loudest voice possible. “Mom, you are SO embarrassing!”
Artists really can draw with almost anything and see images almost anywhere... even in jammy blobs!
Monday, March 13, 2006
FINALLY EMERGING FROM MY CAVE...
There’s something about getting away from home, especially on a vacation, that gives you the time to really think, dream, reflect and deal with things that otherwise might remain shoved to one side during the business of life’s daily task.
Getting away to Austin with my family was very soul-restoring. Teaching wonderful stitchers at Ginger’s and spending time with one of my favourite shop owners also gave me a renewed enthusiasm for cross stitch that has been feeling a bit stale lately. Both of those things gave me the courage to finally write this blog.
I probably should have shared my doubts here months ago, but in a way, I was afraid of letting too much spill out onto these pages. Some of it has made it into my private journals, but much of it just stayed bottled up inside. Now that I am finally learning to work through these challenges, it is time to be more honest here in case it helps someone else down the road face the same paralyzing fears and insecurity.
I’ve always been an optimist and a dreamer. Maybe that’s why the doubts and terrors took me so completely by surprise. It went completely against the grain of who I am and how I have always pictured myself. I just thought I was at lose ends or that cross stitch was in transition and therefore so was I. But every now and then would come a day when I knew I should be designing or working on other artwork to send off to publishers. and the fear or self-doubt would be so great that I would let myself get caught up in busy work, laundry or even invent tasks to keep myself from picking up a pencil.
I think that is why I tried to start my other blog Candles In The Darkness... I wanted to surround myself with positive images and words in the hopes that they would lift up my soul and I would feel that soaring wonder again. Instead, too often, I felt like I was having to sift through so many stones to find one gem of wisdom to encourage myself and others with. Meanwhile, since I thought of Dragon Musings as only a glimpse into a CROSS-STITCH DESIGNER’S world, instead of the world of me, I avoided writing anything at all. Who would want to read about doubt and fear?
In the end, it was preparing for the Dragon*Con jury deadline on March 1st that brought me out of this long tunnel. It was facing the cold hard fact that I had to draw and try or just admit how crippling this self-doubt had become and let it win. It was tempting... very tempting. Far easier not to apply at all and cheer Teresa on this year, as she supported me in my She-Hulk adventures last year, than to face the fact that I might get another letter thanking me for my time but telling me that I wasn’t chosen for the Art Show (ie. not good enough). I was just about convinced that since I’d been drawing with needle and thread in squares and Xs for so long that I could no longer draw the way I had a dozen years ago when I was sending stuff off to publishers on a monthly basis, trying to break into children’s books while working at an ad agency during the day.
What if, when push came to shove, I really wasn’t “good enough”?
The first few days of drawing were torture. Half of my pages ended up scrumpled in the wastebasket because I just couldn’t get past the fact that they all looked like “my stuff”. I began to get a little deadline crazy and decided to just go ahead and finish some of the drawings. I even spent a day close to tears on the final weekend because of a painting that had been sitting half completed in my office for over 6 months. I’d reached the point where I no longer had time to build the painting up in misty layers to make it look realistic. Instead, I opted to finish it in my bold, outlined style and reached a point where I was convinced it was ruined beyond saving... but the next day I came back and finished it off, bringing it back from the point of disaster to something I could live with and even be a bit proud of.
I also learned a valuable lesson about being a role-model to my kids. They would stand there looking at the finished pieces and tell me how cute or beautiful they were with wonder in their eyes. When I looked at the pieces, all I could see were the places where I’d made tiny mistakes or drawn the line just a bit too thick or thin... It just looked like MY stuff, not the many styles I’ve seen out there that I admire so much. I watched my girls draw beside me and noticed how they still drew for the sheer joy of it, not caring if one leg on the princess was longer than the other, not worrying if the composition wasn’t just right... just drawing and giving their hands and eyes the practice they need to improve their skills.
I learned to let them know what a struggle I was having. That I still had doubts and got frustrated when my hands wouldn’t create the exact image that I’d seen in my head. The hugs and support that I got from them and Nick as I finally admitted my fears and worked through them helped more than they will ever know. It also helped to know that a friend I very much respected had her own share of doubts from time to time.
It has also helped to know that almost every artist or creative person goes through the same kind of doubts. I am sure that writers, actors, singers, composers, dancers, news anchors, designers, DJs all face the same emotions at one point or another. Wondering if you’ll be “good enough” to get noticed or famous or respected...
What finally brought me to write this entry... and to transform the subtitle of the blog... was the realization that someone else may find it comforting or even helpful to know that they are not alone. I am learning that the best cure for those fears is just to pick up a pencil and get right to work being creative. To listen to music instead of those little whispers of self-doubt in my head. To stop measuring myself to some impossible standard and just work at producing the best drawing, painting, design or image that I can at the time then dream about the next one. To explore the thoughts about what it is to be a creative soul... which is what Dragon Musings will now evolve into. I started the blog to show those who thought little of stealing or sharing my designs that a designer’s life was not all glamour and glory. Cross stitch will always be an important way in which I make images to share with others... but it will not be the only one I need to muse about. What this blog can really only be is about my journey... with all its hills and valleys.. and my life as an artist... because grown ups really can draw pictures as their job!
There’s something about getting away from home, especially on a vacation, that gives you the time to really think, dream, reflect and deal with things that otherwise might remain shoved to one side during the business of life’s daily task.
Getting away to Austin with my family was very soul-restoring. Teaching wonderful stitchers at Ginger’s and spending time with one of my favourite shop owners also gave me a renewed enthusiasm for cross stitch that has been feeling a bit stale lately. Both of those things gave me the courage to finally write this blog.
I probably should have shared my doubts here months ago, but in a way, I was afraid of letting too much spill out onto these pages. Some of it has made it into my private journals, but much of it just stayed bottled up inside. Now that I am finally learning to work through these challenges, it is time to be more honest here in case it helps someone else down the road face the same paralyzing fears and insecurity.
I’ve always been an optimist and a dreamer. Maybe that’s why the doubts and terrors took me so completely by surprise. It went completely against the grain of who I am and how I have always pictured myself. I just thought I was at lose ends or that cross stitch was in transition and therefore so was I. But every now and then would come a day when I knew I should be designing or working on other artwork to send off to publishers. and the fear or self-doubt would be so great that I would let myself get caught up in busy work, laundry or even invent tasks to keep myself from picking up a pencil.
I think that is why I tried to start my other blog Candles In The Darkness... I wanted to surround myself with positive images and words in the hopes that they would lift up my soul and I would feel that soaring wonder again. Instead, too often, I felt like I was having to sift through so many stones to find one gem of wisdom to encourage myself and others with. Meanwhile, since I thought of Dragon Musings as only a glimpse into a CROSS-STITCH DESIGNER’S world, instead of the world of me, I avoided writing anything at all. Who would want to read about doubt and fear?
In the end, it was preparing for the Dragon*Con jury deadline on March 1st that brought me out of this long tunnel. It was facing the cold hard fact that I had to draw and try or just admit how crippling this self-doubt had become and let it win. It was tempting... very tempting. Far easier not to apply at all and cheer Teresa on this year, as she supported me in my She-Hulk adventures last year, than to face the fact that I might get another letter thanking me for my time but telling me that I wasn’t chosen for the Art Show (ie. not good enough). I was just about convinced that since I’d been drawing with needle and thread in squares and Xs for so long that I could no longer draw the way I had a dozen years ago when I was sending stuff off to publishers on a monthly basis, trying to break into children’s books while working at an ad agency during the day.
What if, when push came to shove, I really wasn’t “good enough”?
The first few days of drawing were torture. Half of my pages ended up scrumpled in the wastebasket because I just couldn’t get past the fact that they all looked like “my stuff”. I began to get a little deadline crazy and decided to just go ahead and finish some of the drawings. I even spent a day close to tears on the final weekend because of a painting that had been sitting half completed in my office for over 6 months. I’d reached the point where I no longer had time to build the painting up in misty layers to make it look realistic. Instead, I opted to finish it in my bold, outlined style and reached a point where I was convinced it was ruined beyond saving... but the next day I came back and finished it off, bringing it back from the point of disaster to something I could live with and even be a bit proud of.
I also learned a valuable lesson about being a role-model to my kids. They would stand there looking at the finished pieces and tell me how cute or beautiful they were with wonder in their eyes. When I looked at the pieces, all I could see were the places where I’d made tiny mistakes or drawn the line just a bit too thick or thin... It just looked like MY stuff, not the many styles I’ve seen out there that I admire so much. I watched my girls draw beside me and noticed how they still drew for the sheer joy of it, not caring if one leg on the princess was longer than the other, not worrying if the composition wasn’t just right... just drawing and giving their hands and eyes the practice they need to improve their skills.
I learned to let them know what a struggle I was having. That I still had doubts and got frustrated when my hands wouldn’t create the exact image that I’d seen in my head. The hugs and support that I got from them and Nick as I finally admitted my fears and worked through them helped more than they will ever know. It also helped to know that a friend I very much respected had her own share of doubts from time to time.
It has also helped to know that almost every artist or creative person goes through the same kind of doubts. I am sure that writers, actors, singers, composers, dancers, news anchors, designers, DJs all face the same emotions at one point or another. Wondering if you’ll be “good enough” to get noticed or famous or respected...
What finally brought me to write this entry... and to transform the subtitle of the blog... was the realization that someone else may find it comforting or even helpful to know that they are not alone. I am learning that the best cure for those fears is just to pick up a pencil and get right to work being creative. To listen to music instead of those little whispers of self-doubt in my head. To stop measuring myself to some impossible standard and just work at producing the best drawing, painting, design or image that I can at the time then dream about the next one. To explore the thoughts about what it is to be a creative soul... which is what Dragon Musings will now evolve into. I started the blog to show those who thought little of stealing or sharing my designs that a designer’s life was not all glamour and glory. Cross stitch will always be an important way in which I make images to share with others... but it will not be the only one I need to muse about. What this blog can really only be is about my journey... with all its hills and valleys.. and my life as an artist... because grown ups really can draw pictures as their job!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Nashville Bound...
I leave for Nashville tomorrow and am actually all packed! I will see the girls off on the bus to school and come home to get everything straightened out before heading to the airport. What a whirlwind 5 days this will be... I am not sure whether to be excited, nervous, anxious or just plain giddy. Shows never lose their excitement/terror for me, even after doing them for so long. There is something about putting your work out there for all to see that makes you feel vulnerable, even when you are an “established” designer. Yet, I cannot imagine myself doing anything else.
Hmmm. Time to double check my packing list and treat myself to a glass of merlot while I watch American Idol!
I leave for Nashville tomorrow and am actually all packed! I will see the girls off on the bus to school and come home to get everything straightened out before heading to the airport. What a whirlwind 5 days this will be... I am not sure whether to be excited, nervous, anxious or just plain giddy. Shows never lose their excitement/terror for me, even after doing them for so long. There is something about putting your work out there for all to see that makes you feel vulnerable, even when you are an “established” designer. Yet, I cannot imagine myself doing anything else.
Hmmm. Time to double check my packing list and treat myself to a glass of merlot while I watch American Idol!
Friday, February 03, 2006
I’m Now Married To A Principal!!!
In the midst of getting ready for the trade show, we get some fabulous news. After weeks of putting in applications and getting set for 3 interviews for 3 Principalships, Nick went into the first interview yesterday for one of the schools he wanted most and just did a fabulous job. He came home with a grin on his face and a sense of relief that the interview process for the day was over and told me that he couldn’t possibly have done anything better. Usually he comes home and thinks of things he should have said or done... but not this time. Right after supper, the phone rang to give him the news that he’d been given the Principalship of Magnetic Hill School for a 5 year term starting in the fall of 2006!!!
There were happy squeals and hugs from all of us as Nick got caught in the middle of the three females in his life all trying to congratulate him at once! Since this school is just 7.8 km from the school, his commute will now be about 6 minutes by highway instead of 25!! Nick jokes that he might even bike to work a few days this summer when he’s going in to check things out...
I am SO proud of how much he has grown as an administrator these past 2 years. Even though the switch to being a VP at Petitcodiac meant a lot of adjustment for our family, the experience that he got there gave him the skills and confidence he needs for this next step in his career. Way to go, NICK!!!!
In the midst of getting ready for the trade show, we get some fabulous news. After weeks of putting in applications and getting set for 3 interviews for 3 Principalships, Nick went into the first interview yesterday for one of the schools he wanted most and just did a fabulous job. He came home with a grin on his face and a sense of relief that the interview process for the day was over and told me that he couldn’t possibly have done anything better. Usually he comes home and thinks of things he should have said or done... but not this time. Right after supper, the phone rang to give him the news that he’d been given the Principalship of Magnetic Hill School for a 5 year term starting in the fall of 2006!!!
There were happy squeals and hugs from all of us as Nick got caught in the middle of the three females in his life all trying to congratulate him at once! Since this school is just 7.8 km from the school, his commute will now be about 6 minutes by highway instead of 25!! Nick jokes that he might even bike to work a few days this summer when he’s going in to check things out...
I am SO proud of how much he has grown as an administrator these past 2 years. Even though the switch to being a VP at Petitcodiac meant a lot of adjustment for our family, the experience that he got there gave him the skills and confidence he needs for this next step in his career. Way to go, NICK!!!!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
PULLED IN ALL DIRECTIONS...
Remember when you were a teenager and you looked at grown-ups? They have it all... you thought to yourself. They earn money, they can stay up as late as they want, they don’t have to go to school and do homework that just doesn’t relate to real life...
I can see that in my children’s eyes already at time - that longing for the perceived freedom of adulthood. If I can share anything with them, I hope it is that EACH age carries its own joys, tribulations and challenges. Since we only dance through time one way, it makes sense to savour as much of each stage as possible instead of waiting for it to be over.
Easier said than done!! As I get ready for the show next week in Nashville, I feel pulled in a million directions at once. I am still wrapping up a design to print and package this weekend so that it can go in my suitcase with me, but most of the designs are already en route to the show to save on weight. Bethany’s cast is off, but they have recommended a wrist guard for gym class and outdoor play, so we borrowed one that a friend’s children wear for rollerblading. That type of equipment isn’t popular in sports stores right now because it is still too wintery to think of bare pavement and roller blades!
Nick is on pins and needles because the next three work days hold 3 separate interviews for 3 different Principalships that come up for the next school year. He is ready for the challenge of his own school and the experience at a larger school these past 2 years has been a great opportunity, even if it hasn’t been without stresses and challenges for both him and our family. It is hard to share a single vehicle when he works over 40 km away!
Time just seems to scurry by like my hamsters on their wheels. I keep wondering each night where the day went, but at least that’s better than getting bored!
So much speculation about how the show is going to go, how the industry is faring, why more people aren’t stitching, how to reach the next generation... I can’t get caught up in that or I might never have the courage to get on the plane. All we can do each day is work at producing the best designs possible, the best quality product and putting some fun into what we do. I am sure that by the time I get on the plane, I will have stopped worrying about what still needs to be done and just look forward to seeing fellow designers and the shop owners who have become friends over the last dozen years.
Remember when you were a teenager and you looked at grown-ups? They have it all... you thought to yourself. They earn money, they can stay up as late as they want, they don’t have to go to school and do homework that just doesn’t relate to real life...
I can see that in my children’s eyes already at time - that longing for the perceived freedom of adulthood. If I can share anything with them, I hope it is that EACH age carries its own joys, tribulations and challenges. Since we only dance through time one way, it makes sense to savour as much of each stage as possible instead of waiting for it to be over.
Easier said than done!! As I get ready for the show next week in Nashville, I feel pulled in a million directions at once. I am still wrapping up a design to print and package this weekend so that it can go in my suitcase with me, but most of the designs are already en route to the show to save on weight. Bethany’s cast is off, but they have recommended a wrist guard for gym class and outdoor play, so we borrowed one that a friend’s children wear for rollerblading. That type of equipment isn’t popular in sports stores right now because it is still too wintery to think of bare pavement and roller blades!
Nick is on pins and needles because the next three work days hold 3 separate interviews for 3 different Principalships that come up for the next school year. He is ready for the challenge of his own school and the experience at a larger school these past 2 years has been a great opportunity, even if it hasn’t been without stresses and challenges for both him and our family. It is hard to share a single vehicle when he works over 40 km away!
Time just seems to scurry by like my hamsters on their wheels. I keep wondering each night where the day went, but at least that’s better than getting bored!
So much speculation about how the show is going to go, how the industry is faring, why more people aren’t stitching, how to reach the next generation... I can’t get caught up in that or I might never have the courage to get on the plane. All we can do each day is work at producing the best designs possible, the best quality product and putting some fun into what we do. I am sure that by the time I get on the plane, I will have stopped worrying about what still needs to be done and just look forward to seeing fellow designers and the shop owners who have become friends over the last dozen years.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
BEATING DEADLINES!
Sometimes, the best thing about setting a goal or timeframe is actually beating it! I needed to get all of my files to the printer by tomorrow if there was a chance of them squeezing in the two jobs I need professionally printed for Nashville! Nothing worse that taking printed matter whose ink isn’t quite dry with you. First of all, the product is prone to transfer smudges, secondly it still smells quite strongly and third, the panic feelings of wondering if it will be ready are just plain unpleasant.
I actually got the files all done and sent over this morning after a little help with the proofing from a patient friend (thanks again!!). Sometimes you just stare at things too long to be objective. Stitchers are such clever people that they find the mistakes... but that is AFTER you have already printed your press run!!
Now there is just one last model to stitch and frame for the show. Nick and I can do a sampler in tandem. On a solid piece, our tension is a bit to different to look as smooth as I’d like, but on a sampler, he can whiz through the text backstitching, one or the other can handle the cross stitch and then I do the specialty stitches.
I’m also thrilled with how DD-90 MESSY...BUT MINE! looks now that it is back from the framer’s!! This dragon was such fun to design on her pile of treasure. I even hid my ipod in the stash!!! Of course there had to be a teddy bear and some books to read as well as typical dragon loot... Nick jokes that this model needs to hang on my office door as soon as it gets home from all its shows! Hah! Hah!
With the files out of the way early, I should move on to something practical, but my hands feel like drawing today, so I am going to eat lunch and spend the hour before Bethany gets home just working on one of my pieces for the DragonCon jury. A little Josh Groban music in the background and time to draw sounds like heaven right now!!!
Sometimes, the best thing about setting a goal or timeframe is actually beating it! I needed to get all of my files to the printer by tomorrow if there was a chance of them squeezing in the two jobs I need professionally printed for Nashville! Nothing worse that taking printed matter whose ink isn’t quite dry with you. First of all, the product is prone to transfer smudges, secondly it still smells quite strongly and third, the panic feelings of wondering if it will be ready are just plain unpleasant.
I actually got the files all done and sent over this morning after a little help with the proofing from a patient friend (thanks again!!). Sometimes you just stare at things too long to be objective. Stitchers are such clever people that they find the mistakes... but that is AFTER you have already printed your press run!!
Now there is just one last model to stitch and frame for the show. Nick and I can do a sampler in tandem. On a solid piece, our tension is a bit to different to look as smooth as I’d like, but on a sampler, he can whiz through the text backstitching, one or the other can handle the cross stitch and then I do the specialty stitches.
I’m also thrilled with how DD-90 MESSY...BUT MINE! looks now that it is back from the framer’s!! This dragon was such fun to design on her pile of treasure. I even hid my ipod in the stash!!! Of course there had to be a teddy bear and some books to read as well as typical dragon loot... Nick jokes that this model needs to hang on my office door as soon as it gets home from all its shows! Hah! Hah!
With the files out of the way early, I should move on to something practical, but my hands feel like drawing today, so I am going to eat lunch and spend the hour before Bethany gets home just working on one of my pieces for the DragonCon jury. A little Josh Groban music in the background and time to draw sounds like heaven right now!!!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
THOSE ARE THE BREAKS...
If this is life getting back to “normal”, I think I’ll stay in holiday mode!!! I practically danced my way home from the bus stop on Monday morning as everyone got back off to school and had my most productive day in ages. I am still in a panic that something won’t get done by Nashville a month from now or that I’ll overlook some major error in a chart because I was rushed... but all you can do is try to eat that elephant one bite at a time!
I’m also very hard on myself because I feel like such a slow stitcher compared to Nick or my wonderful model stitchers... but I am accurate, which Nick in a rush sometimes isn’t, and I don’t have to pay myself!
By Monday afternoon the snow was falling heavily, far beyond the 2 cm the weatherman called for. Nick called to say the roads were horrible and the girls’ choir practice was canceled. Once Nick got home, we just stayed put.
By Tuesday morning, everything was sunny and clear again. Nick has a meeting after school at the board office to discuss the positions he intends to apply for in this first round of openings for Principalships for the 2006-2007 school year and it went very well. Now he’s polishing off his resume, updating Power point presentations etc. I stayed up really late stitching, but it was fun to see the design come to live beneath my fingertips.
By Wednesday morning, it was starting to get warm and they were calling for freezing rain or heavy rain by nightfall. My walking buddy and I finally got our schedules to match and we walked in the local mall for an hour. I came home feeling worked out but satisfied and got lots accomplished before I headed up to the bus to meet Bethany. Imagine my horror when she stepped off the bus holding one arm funny!! She’d slipped on the last part of some playground equipment right after lunch, but everyone at school assumed it was just a sprain because she could still move her fingers. No one called me or even sent a note home! I put some ice on the wrist area for a bit and waited for Erin to get home from staying after school for extra help. As soon as Nick came home, I bundled Bethany off to the hospital with me for an X-ray because she couldn’t hyperflex her “drawing hand” at all and my mommy senses were tingling. It was a long wait in the ER, but finally, the images confirmed she did have a “buckle fracture” in the radius of her right arm an inch or so below her wrist. By then, it was too late in the day to get a cast done and the wrist was still a bit too swollen, so we got a plaster splint and a note to get us fast tracked at the ER this morning. I managed to get quite a bit of model stitching done while playing 20 questions for over 4 hours to keep Bethany’s mind off how much her arm hurt.
By this morning, it was pouring rain. I drove the girls to school so that I could express my disappointment at not having received any communication from the school. Her teacher was aghast that it was broken. I certainly didn’t want anyone to get in trouble, but I did want to stress that I prefer to be called and given the option of what to do if my child is hurt during instructional time. Bethany and I went down to the hospital afterwards. She was prepped for the cast, but just before the plaster layer, the cast expert was called to the acute side of the ER for an emergency splint. We played silly puppet games with her jacket sleeve and more 20 questions until he returned. Once we were done, we headed to the bank to deposit my Hoffman cheque in the US dollar account and then to Blockbuster to rent a pile of fun DVDs to watch together (she’ll watch, I’ll stitch and listen) until the cast sets in 48 hours. She can’t really draw until then so she’s very grumpy about that... just like her mom would be.
This morning, we also found out that our new dwarf hamster, who has been with us for just over a month, is as diabetic as Nipper who passed away a year ago. Perhaps females are just more vulnerable to this disease. Erin has been heartbroken all day and cried as she played with her tonight, but I tried to turn that into a life lesson. We really never know how much time we have for anything, so each moment that we do have should be savoured and enjoyed. With special diet, she may live another few months... or even longer. We certainly won’t breed her to our male hamster of 10 months though. I think the girls were hoping for one batch of baby hamsters sometime...
What a week this has been so far!! My framer is on standby for this design as soon as I finish it. One more late night and tomorrow with Bethany should do it. Tomorrow night is date night and I can’t wait to toast the end to this crazy week with my husband and a nice glass of Merlot or a piece of chocolate!!
If this is life getting back to “normal”, I think I’ll stay in holiday mode!!! I practically danced my way home from the bus stop on Monday morning as everyone got back off to school and had my most productive day in ages. I am still in a panic that something won’t get done by Nashville a month from now or that I’ll overlook some major error in a chart because I was rushed... but all you can do is try to eat that elephant one bite at a time!
I’m also very hard on myself because I feel like such a slow stitcher compared to Nick or my wonderful model stitchers... but I am accurate, which Nick in a rush sometimes isn’t, and I don’t have to pay myself!
By Monday afternoon the snow was falling heavily, far beyond the 2 cm the weatherman called for. Nick called to say the roads were horrible and the girls’ choir practice was canceled. Once Nick got home, we just stayed put.
By Tuesday morning, everything was sunny and clear again. Nick has a meeting after school at the board office to discuss the positions he intends to apply for in this first round of openings for Principalships for the 2006-2007 school year and it went very well. Now he’s polishing off his resume, updating Power point presentations etc. I stayed up really late stitching, but it was fun to see the design come to live beneath my fingertips.
By Wednesday morning, it was starting to get warm and they were calling for freezing rain or heavy rain by nightfall. My walking buddy and I finally got our schedules to match and we walked in the local mall for an hour. I came home feeling worked out but satisfied and got lots accomplished before I headed up to the bus to meet Bethany. Imagine my horror when she stepped off the bus holding one arm funny!! She’d slipped on the last part of some playground equipment right after lunch, but everyone at school assumed it was just a sprain because she could still move her fingers. No one called me or even sent a note home! I put some ice on the wrist area for a bit and waited for Erin to get home from staying after school for extra help. As soon as Nick came home, I bundled Bethany off to the hospital with me for an X-ray because she couldn’t hyperflex her “drawing hand” at all and my mommy senses were tingling. It was a long wait in the ER, but finally, the images confirmed she did have a “buckle fracture” in the radius of her right arm an inch or so below her wrist. By then, it was too late in the day to get a cast done and the wrist was still a bit too swollen, so we got a plaster splint and a note to get us fast tracked at the ER this morning. I managed to get quite a bit of model stitching done while playing 20 questions for over 4 hours to keep Bethany’s mind off how much her arm hurt.
By this morning, it was pouring rain. I drove the girls to school so that I could express my disappointment at not having received any communication from the school. Her teacher was aghast that it was broken. I certainly didn’t want anyone to get in trouble, but I did want to stress that I prefer to be called and given the option of what to do if my child is hurt during instructional time. Bethany and I went down to the hospital afterwards. She was prepped for the cast, but just before the plaster layer, the cast expert was called to the acute side of the ER for an emergency splint. We played silly puppet games with her jacket sleeve and more 20 questions until he returned. Once we were done, we headed to the bank to deposit my Hoffman cheque in the US dollar account and then to Blockbuster to rent a pile of fun DVDs to watch together (she’ll watch, I’ll stitch and listen) until the cast sets in 48 hours. She can’t really draw until then so she’s very grumpy about that... just like her mom would be.
This morning, we also found out that our new dwarf hamster, who has been with us for just over a month, is as diabetic as Nipper who passed away a year ago. Perhaps females are just more vulnerable to this disease. Erin has been heartbroken all day and cried as she played with her tonight, but I tried to turn that into a life lesson. We really never know how much time we have for anything, so each moment that we do have should be savoured and enjoyed. With special diet, she may live another few months... or even longer. We certainly won’t breed her to our male hamster of 10 months though. I think the girls were hoping for one batch of baby hamsters sometime...
What a week this has been so far!! My framer is on standby for this design as soon as I finish it. One more late night and tomorrow with Bethany should do it. Tomorrow night is date night and I can’t wait to toast the end to this crazy week with my husband and a nice glass of Merlot or a piece of chocolate!!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Looking Back and Looking Forward...
New Year’s Eve always makes me feel reflective. Perhaps it is something about having a new year with all the possibilities stretching out before us that inspires me to dream about what the coming 365 days will hold.
Tonight we are staying in with friends joining us for a night of games, good snacks and great company. Mom and John are also here, so the girls are thrilled to have grandparents around.
It’s funny how hard it has been to blog lately. Things will inspire me to write and then I get interrupted. I am going to try to change that for the New Year and go back to writing smaller entries more often.
One of the most exciting things to happen over the holidays was reading the latest Monica Ferris book that I received as a present. It is set at the show in Nashville, which I am getting ready for, so I could picture everything very clearly. When I got to page 190, you should have heard the SQUEEEEEEEEEEEAL that I let out upon seeing my company name in print. So silly, but incredibly fun as well. When she mentioned the line about a bunch of us being dressed up in garb... I had to laugh. At least she didn’t have me running through the lobby with my sword!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! May it be a year of dreams and inspiration for everyone!
New Year’s Eve always makes me feel reflective. Perhaps it is something about having a new year with all the possibilities stretching out before us that inspires me to dream about what the coming 365 days will hold.
Tonight we are staying in with friends joining us for a night of games, good snacks and great company. Mom and John are also here, so the girls are thrilled to have grandparents around.
It’s funny how hard it has been to blog lately. Things will inspire me to write and then I get interrupted. I am going to try to change that for the New Year and go back to writing smaller entries more often.
One of the most exciting things to happen over the holidays was reading the latest Monica Ferris book that I received as a present. It is set at the show in Nashville, which I am getting ready for, so I could picture everything very clearly. When I got to page 190, you should have heard the SQUEEEEEEEEEEEAL that I let out upon seeing my company name in print. So silly, but incredibly fun as well. When she mentioned the line about a bunch of us being dressed up in garb... I had to laugh. At least she didn’t have me running through the lobby with my sword!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! May it be a year of dreams and inspiration for everyone!
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Happy Holidays... Celebrate the Unexpected!
Response the the fun I’ve tried to have with the website this month has been gratifying. Life should be a adventure and looking for ways to celebrate the unexpected, as well as longing for what is expected. Tonight was lovely at church. The girls sang and played the tone chimes with their choir. Nick and I sat together in the audience, without wiggly daughters, for the very first time. Now everything waits in a still hush. The girls finally asleep and dreaming of presents tomorrow, my house is awash in the promise of advent now fulfilled. Nick and I have sipped on the elderberry cordial that I made from the bounty of our bush this fall... and life is good. May we never stop looking for wonder in our world or celebrating the unexpected!
Response the the fun I’ve tried to have with the website this month has been gratifying. Life should be a adventure and looking for ways to celebrate the unexpected, as well as longing for what is expected. Tonight was lovely at church. The girls sang and played the tone chimes with their choir. Nick and I sat together in the audience, without wiggly daughters, for the very first time. Now everything waits in a still hush. The girls finally asleep and dreaming of presents tomorrow, my house is awash in the promise of advent now fulfilled. Nick and I have sipped on the elderberry cordial that I made from the bounty of our bush this fall... and life is good. May we never stop looking for wonder in our world or celebrating the unexpected!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Calm Before The Storm?
I can’t believe December has flown by even faster than November. Where has the time gone? Rushing from one event to another... from Christmas concerts and staff parties to Guides and Sparks and Junior Choir... My parents once warned me that the years would go by faster as I got older and I didn’t believe them until now!
Today is the last day of quiet in my office before the girls are home for the holidays. Nick works until noon on Friday, but I am keeping the girls home for that last half day since Bethany actually would have been dismissed and back on the bus 2 hours after getting to school! I’d much rather have a PJ/Princess morning and stay in our jammies.
I always look forward to the Christmas Break with a sense of joy and also resignation. I will work on stitching now since that is easier to do up in the living room with the rest of the family. I will look forward to not waking up to an alarm every morning, but I will also miss the quiet of the house as I work on the computer when everyone is out at school.
The show in Nashville will be here before I know it! I am still trying to finalize which designs I will actually invest in printing for this show. THe tougher market right now has forced me to be much more selective about what I release, which can be a good thing. By acting as my own quality control before printing designs, I can be sure that the very best of what I produce makes it into the hands of stitchers. Quality vs. Quantity. I must keep that in mind with holiday cookies as well!!
I can’t believe December has flown by even faster than November. Where has the time gone? Rushing from one event to another... from Christmas concerts and staff parties to Guides and Sparks and Junior Choir... My parents once warned me that the years would go by faster as I got older and I didn’t believe them until now!
Today is the last day of quiet in my office before the girls are home for the holidays. Nick works until noon on Friday, but I am keeping the girls home for that last half day since Bethany actually would have been dismissed and back on the bus 2 hours after getting to school! I’d much rather have a PJ/Princess morning and stay in our jammies.
I always look forward to the Christmas Break with a sense of joy and also resignation. I will work on stitching now since that is easier to do up in the living room with the rest of the family. I will look forward to not waking up to an alarm every morning, but I will also miss the quiet of the house as I work on the computer when everyone is out at school.
The show in Nashville will be here before I know it! I am still trying to finalize which designs I will actually invest in printing for this show. THe tougher market right now has forced me to be much more selective about what I release, which can be a good thing. By acting as my own quality control before printing designs, I can be sure that the very best of what I produce makes it into the hands of stitchers. Quality vs. Quantity. I must keep that in mind with holiday cookies as well!!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
The Magic of Storm Days...
Today was supposed to be back to back chaos. One complicated meeting and then racing over to church to help put on the Advent Retreat that I helped to plan. A snowstorm and high winds have canceled school for the day, and also the first meeting. With the roads a little iffy in the wind, I decided not to risk venturing out for the retreat either. My minister and I had touched base by phone this morning to see what we’d do and she urged me to stay home if things looked bad. Since our street only JUST got plowed out and the winds are picking up a bit, I decided to listen to that little voice that said “Be Still!”
My kids, however, are out in the backyard right now, bundled up to the gills for a romp in the snow before the winds escalate to the 90 km hour high the weather channel is calling for. Their best friends from across the street have joined them to give Lori-Ann a chance to rest. She’s been fighting pneumonia and the last thing she need right now is two energetic boys underfoot.
This is one of those moments that reminds me why I chose to do what I do from home. It helps ease the gloomy feeling from yesterday when the exchange rate on my Hoffman cheque was so pitiful and the Postal Service announced that rates on everything are going up AGAIN. Snow days can be a magical way of life telling you to just listen to the world around you and move at a slower pace. We modern humans tend to want to impose our will on the planet and have everything to be “business as usual” no matter what the weather is doing. I’m not convinced that this is always best for our bodies... or our souls.
Today was supposed to be back to back chaos. One complicated meeting and then racing over to church to help put on the Advent Retreat that I helped to plan. A snowstorm and high winds have canceled school for the day, and also the first meeting. With the roads a little iffy in the wind, I decided not to risk venturing out for the retreat either. My minister and I had touched base by phone this morning to see what we’d do and she urged me to stay home if things looked bad. Since our street only JUST got plowed out and the winds are picking up a bit, I decided to listen to that little voice that said “Be Still!”
My kids, however, are out in the backyard right now, bundled up to the gills for a romp in the snow before the winds escalate to the 90 km hour high the weather channel is calling for. Their best friends from across the street have joined them to give Lori-Ann a chance to rest. She’s been fighting pneumonia and the last thing she need right now is two energetic boys underfoot.
This is one of those moments that reminds me why I chose to do what I do from home. It helps ease the gloomy feeling from yesterday when the exchange rate on my Hoffman cheque was so pitiful and the Postal Service announced that rates on everything are going up AGAIN. Snow days can be a magical way of life telling you to just listen to the world around you and move at a slower pace. We modern humans tend to want to impose our will on the planet and have everything to be “business as usual” no matter what the weather is doing. I’m not convinced that this is always best for our bodies... or our souls.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
FEELING FROZEN IN ONE SPOT...
The weather is getting colder and I do find myself wrapping my hands around warm mugs of tea more often, but these past few days, I have also felt as if I am frozen in one spot, unsure of where to move next. Not in a bad way, necessarily, just unsure.
We did have some fun on Saturday and have added a new member to our family! While going into the pet store after groceries, just so the girls could have a Pet Fix, we discovered that a new shipment of baby dwarf hamsters had just arrived that week. They were also different markings from Wuffles. I picked up one tiny one who was white with black spots who promptly tried to leap from my hands but didn’t bite the way Nipper had when we bought our first hamster last fall (who passed away after only 5 months). We are pretty sure that Jellybean (full name Jumping Jellybean Jaws according to my girls) is a little girl. she is SO tiny compared to Wuffles who has been with us for 9 months and is palm sized. Jellybean is just over 2 inches! Since we already had 2 cages, we decided to get her. Nick insists it was IMPOSSIBLE to resist 3 females looking at him with big pleading eyes!! I’ve also been told that Jellybean is in lieu of a sweater and I get this present early, but I don’t mind at all. Now begins the fun of making her even tamer and hopefully she will be as friendly as Wuffles as she learns that hands can be nice instead of scary things that scoop you out of your cage!
Just getting that all down in this entry had made me smile and feel a bit unfrozen... but I still feel like I am waiting for something, I just don’t know quite what....
The weather is getting colder and I do find myself wrapping my hands around warm mugs of tea more often, but these past few days, I have also felt as if I am frozen in one spot, unsure of where to move next. Not in a bad way, necessarily, just unsure.
We did have some fun on Saturday and have added a new member to our family! While going into the pet store after groceries, just so the girls could have a Pet Fix, we discovered that a new shipment of baby dwarf hamsters had just arrived that week. They were also different markings from Wuffles. I picked up one tiny one who was white with black spots who promptly tried to leap from my hands but didn’t bite the way Nipper had when we bought our first hamster last fall (who passed away after only 5 months). We are pretty sure that Jellybean (full name Jumping Jellybean Jaws according to my girls) is a little girl. she is SO tiny compared to Wuffles who has been with us for 9 months and is palm sized. Jellybean is just over 2 inches! Since we already had 2 cages, we decided to get her. Nick insists it was IMPOSSIBLE to resist 3 females looking at him with big pleading eyes!! I’ve also been told that Jellybean is in lieu of a sweater and I get this present early, but I don’t mind at all. Now begins the fun of making her even tamer and hopefully she will be as friendly as Wuffles as she learns that hands can be nice instead of scary things that scoop you out of your cage!
Just getting that all down in this entry had made me smile and feel a bit unfrozen... but I still feel like I am waiting for something, I just don’t know quite what....
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Peace... Quiet... and Health AT LAST!
I’m not really sure where November went. Suddenly the end of the month is here and I am finally able to get some large blocks of work done now that Nick is back at work and I have my voice back. Last week was horrible with both of us home, feeling under the weather, yet still dealing with 2 energetic girls and all their activities. Erin’s volleyball team placed 2nd in her division, but I have yet to hear if that means more matches for playoffs etc. Swimming lessons and gymnastics just wrapped up until after the holidays and there are only 2 more weeks for Guides and Sparks. I can’t wait for the holidays just to relax a bit.
I feel way behind in deciding my lineup for Nashville, but I know that sometimes being backed into a deadline gets me to pick and narrow the field. Luggage weight restrictions and budget mean that I can’t really release more than 3 designs for that show, so I have to try to decide what stitchers will enjoy most... and that’s not always easy! At least it does keep me on my toes!
I’m not really sure where November went. Suddenly the end of the month is here and I am finally able to get some large blocks of work done now that Nick is back at work and I have my voice back. Last week was horrible with both of us home, feeling under the weather, yet still dealing with 2 energetic girls and all their activities. Erin’s volleyball team placed 2nd in her division, but I have yet to hear if that means more matches for playoffs etc. Swimming lessons and gymnastics just wrapped up until after the holidays and there are only 2 more weeks for Guides and Sparks. I can’t wait for the holidays just to relax a bit.
I feel way behind in deciding my lineup for Nashville, but I know that sometimes being backed into a deadline gets me to pick and narrow the field. Luggage weight restrictions and budget mean that I can’t really release more than 3 designs for that show, so I have to try to decide what stitchers will enjoy most... and that’s not always easy!
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