Thursday, September 16, 2004

Saying “I Love You” Instead of “See You Soon”!

It was another rough morning for Bethany at the bus stop. She absolutely loves school, but saying goodbye to Mommy each morning is proving to be difficult. Last year, Nick would just put her in the car and drive her to daycare. This year, he is out the door while we are still eating breakfast and Bethany first starts dragging her heels when the time comes to put on her shoes! She gets quiet on the walk up and starts to clutch my hand tighter as I babble away in my best “Cheerful Mommy Voice” about all the fun things that might happen at school today. It is when everyone lines up for the bus and we have those 5 to 10 minutes of waiting (the bus has yet to arrive at the same time twice yet) that things really get hard. I can tell that she gets a big lump in her throat because you can almost hear her swallow. The tears spill out quietly over those freckled cheeks of hers as she just stands there wanting desperately not to have to say goodbye.

Part of me wanted to just say “I’ll be seeing you SO soon!” and yet, lately, I have found myself avoiding that phrase and saying “I LOVE YOU” or “It will be OK” instead. Those really are the only two things that I can promise.

We cannot predict how the world may change from day to day. September 11th taught us that, the recent terror and tragedy in Russia reminded us of that yet again. Getting an e-mail from Hoffman Distributing last night about their closure due to Hurricane Ivan heading directly for them made me aware that we cannot control Mother Nature or the actions of others. And yet, we cannot walk into each day with fear... because that really isn’t living life to its fullest... it isn’t really LIVING at all.

What I CAN teach my children is to say “I LOVE YOU” to those you hold dear as often as you can, and to live that out. To KNOW that you are loved is one of the greatest gifts there is. I will love them no matter what. Bethany and I say “I love you up to Infinity and Beyond” every night and that is so true...

BRING! BRING! (Sound of phone ringing!)

Moms must have ESP... because just as I was typing this, MY mom called to see how I was doing! We had a wonderful chat... and she told me to go ahead and say the “I’ll see you soon”s in my life. As she pointed out, if something were to happen, it wouldn’t be breaking a promise to my kids, which is why I think I have always hated saying that.

Hmmmmm! Perhaps you are never too grown up to have your Mom point out that you might still have some Monsters hiding in your own closet!


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