Thursday, September 16, 2004

Saying “I Love You” Instead of “See You Soon”!

It was another rough morning for Bethany at the bus stop. She absolutely loves school, but saying goodbye to Mommy each morning is proving to be difficult. Last year, Nick would just put her in the car and drive her to daycare. This year, he is out the door while we are still eating breakfast and Bethany first starts dragging her heels when the time comes to put on her shoes! She gets quiet on the walk up and starts to clutch my hand tighter as I babble away in my best “Cheerful Mommy Voice” about all the fun things that might happen at school today. It is when everyone lines up for the bus and we have those 5 to 10 minutes of waiting (the bus has yet to arrive at the same time twice yet) that things really get hard. I can tell that she gets a big lump in her throat because you can almost hear her swallow. The tears spill out quietly over those freckled cheeks of hers as she just stands there wanting desperately not to have to say goodbye.

Part of me wanted to just say “I’ll be seeing you SO soon!” and yet, lately, I have found myself avoiding that phrase and saying “I LOVE YOU” or “It will be OK” instead. Those really are the only two things that I can promise.

We cannot predict how the world may change from day to day. September 11th taught us that, the recent terror and tragedy in Russia reminded us of that yet again. Getting an e-mail from Hoffman Distributing last night about their closure due to Hurricane Ivan heading directly for them made me aware that we cannot control Mother Nature or the actions of others. And yet, we cannot walk into each day with fear... because that really isn’t living life to its fullest... it isn’t really LIVING at all.

What I CAN teach my children is to say “I LOVE YOU” to those you hold dear as often as you can, and to live that out. To KNOW that you are loved is one of the greatest gifts there is. I will love them no matter what. Bethany and I say “I love you up to Infinity and Beyond” every night and that is so true...

BRING! BRING! (Sound of phone ringing!)

Moms must have ESP... because just as I was typing this, MY mom called to see how I was doing! We had a wonderful chat... and she told me to go ahead and say the “I’ll see you soon”s in my life. As she pointed out, if something were to happen, it wouldn’t be breaking a promise to my kids, which is why I think I have always hated saying that.

Hmmmmm! Perhaps you are never too grown up to have your Mom point out that you might still have some Monsters hiding in your own closet!


Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Now I Need To Get MYSELF Into A Routine!

I had forgotten just how hectic this time of year could be. Monday everyone headed off to school scratching a few more mosquito bites than they’d had before a wonderful weekend at Camp Ta-Wa-Si. Monday night was registration for Girl Guides, so Erin signed up for her first year of Girl Guides with the same troop that the rest of her Brownie Pack flew up to on one side of town... and Bethany signed up for Sparks at our own church on the other side of town. Erin was a wee bit jealous because she’d never been a Spark, but I reminded her of the Highland Dance lessons and other things that she had tried when she was Bethany’s age.

I also decided to pull apart my entire office since I coped most of the summer by making little piles around the room of things that I needed to get to but was having trouble doing with everyone underfoot. I hauled everything out into the family room except the furniture itself, clearing off every surface, shelf etc. Not only did I find a few giant dust bunnies and lost change, I also managed to fill two bags of paper garbage before the garbage pick up that night. I made sure that if stuff came back into the office, it went in the right place. Nick is teasing me because there is still a pile of 2 boxes to deal with out there, but I am almost done sorting. It feels wonderful to have a desk surface again and to be able to see what a nice shade of blue carpet I actually have!

Tuesday was meetings and I missed a box from Purolator. I hope it is some of the stuff I am missing to put my kits together for Toronto! I called to have it redelivered on Thursday. Bethany and Erin both needed help with school stuff when they got home, so I felt as if the day just flew by!

Today was hot and sunny, but I had the van today and had 3 appointments to try to squeeze in between the girls getting on the bus and Bethany getting home. For some reason, she did not want to say goodbye this morning and was all tearful and blotchy-faced getting on the bus, but Erin later told me that she was fine by the time they arrived at school. Both of them came home feeling very tired and flat, complaining of sore throats and stuffy noses. Sounds like the back-to-school germ fiesta has begun!!

I have more paperwork to get taken care of tonight, just in case either of them is running a fever by morning, so I will end here for the night, but I really sense that I need to get MYSELF back into a routine. I am learning to get more done in the shorter day than when Bethany was at daycare, how to cook meals while calling out spelling words and then how to gear up to do a bit more once they go down. I am sure that it will all fall into place in a week or so.