Missing The Connection...
Funny how sometimes being apart can make you appreciate someone even more. This has been a tricky year with Nick taking a Vice-Principalship at a rural K-12 school about 40 km (20 minutes) from home. We remained a one van family by choice, but that also meant juggling things around sometimes or the girls and I taking the occasional taxi. I also learned to cope with longer hours on my own with the girls. Most mornings, Nick left before 7 am and got home after 5 pm. I know this pales when compared to what most parents in major centers lose to commuting time etc., but it was quite a switch from the family schedule we had the year before.
Since I was lucky enough to marry my best friend, I also found it hard when I couldn’t do much to help him adjust to what was less than a welcoming atmosphere at the new complex. It made me mad to see how hard he was working to help solve problems and not really getting the support he needed. Especially when he had gone down to that school at the request of the District, giving up a nice position at a great school in order to help the District as a whole.
With the school year almost over, and the objectivity of having spent a week away at my Mom’s, I can now see what a great learning experience this year has been for Nick. Even the darker moments taught him things about how he will or won’t run a school once he has a chance to become a Principal. It has also re-affirmed for me why I chose the type of career that I did while the girls are younger, so that I can be there when they get off the bus and help them with homework etc. Yes, sometimes that means staying up late to complete work after they go to bed, but they won’t be this age forever. Rereading my Mom’s collection of For Better Or Worse comic anthologies has reminded me of that.
It is great to know that after almost 16 years of marriage and 21 years of being together, I can miss someone so completely. I have missed all of the chats with my best friend this week, even though we have tried to call each other amid the chaos. Nick very rarely gets that “alone head space” time that I do when I go to trade shows or have an empty house all to myself during the day to get work done. I hope it has been restful in some way for him as the hectic pace of school closing time tries to run all teachers ragged.
When you marry someone, you really do create a bond/fusion of two lives that, if you work hard enough, are lucky enough and support each other enough, stands apart from other family bonds. You remember and love those who gave you live and with whom you grew up. You love, nurture and raise your children until they go off to have lives of their own. But through it all, around it all and in spite of it all, remains the bond that you forge as the years go by. I can’t wait to get home to my friend, my partner and my love!