Saturday, March 15, 2008

Goodbyes Are NEVER Easy...

How quickly life can change in a heartbeat...

A few hours after I blogged last night, Nick got word that his father had taken a turn for the worse and was slipping away, so instead of going to bed, we headed downstairs to the computer, booked a flight for him, packed, made some calls and got him out on the 6 am flight this morning for a 17 hour trip from Moncton, New Brunswick to Whitehorse, Yukon.

If there were a longer route to get from point A to point B in our country, I’d be surprised. Nick went Moncton to Toronto, Toronto to Vancouver on the other coast of our country and then Vancouver up north to Whitehorse. Find them on a map and you’ll see just how far he had to race to get to his Dad’s side.

Sadly, he didn’t make it in time.

As I write this, Nick is somewhere in the air between Vancouver and Whitehorse. He woke with a start from a power snooze on the second leg of the flight somehow knowing that it was too late. He called me from Vancouver once he landed to touch base and I had to let him know that he was right.

Luckily, Nick was able to speak to his father late last night before he left and tell him that he loved him and that he was on his way. There are many who don’t get that chance to say goodbye in time.

My girls have cried themselves out as you do with that first huge loss of someone you love in your life. I have spent the day trying to be strong for them, holding down the fort and just aching for Nick and the loss he is facing... but he is where he needs to be right now. He will be able to help his stepmother through the next few difficult days once he arrives tonight.

Luckily, both my girls were able to have fond memories of Ken and Colleen’s visit here for Thanksgiving in 2006 when his health was already starting to fail. Did it hurt more because they got to know him despite the distance or will the memories comfort them? Despite the pain that they are feeling now, I know that they will carry the good forward with them. How can it be a bad thing to know that you were loved?

I worry that Nick’s shoulders, who are always so strong for others, are still recovering. I hope that somehow he can find moments to rest amid this new round of chaos and that from this sadness, some healing will come as he pays his final respects to his Dad.

I called mine tonight to remind him of how much I love him.

Luckily, Ken is no longer in pain.

Never forget to say those “I love yous” as often as possible. We don’t always get to plan when we have to say goodbye.

Goodbye Ken.


Anonymous said...

Hello Jennifer,
I just had to comment- I feel your loss very much and will light a candle for your family and send some healing energy your way. May the Goddess watch over and protect you in this time of grief.
Your friend,

Kitty said...

Big hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Round the Bend said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. Hold up and be your fabulously strong self for your girls.

I remember losing my first grandparent. 3/4 shock, 1/4 disbelief... and then the finality.

I will encourage R&D into teleportation to ensure this doesn't happen to more people than necessary.

Hugs to you & yours.

Lori-Ann said...

I'm sorry for your family's loss, Jen :o(

Very nice memorial blog. Take care of your babes... Nick will be back soon. {{{hugs}}}

andi said...

I am sorry for your loss Jen,

you'll be in my thoughts tonight.

Geralyn said...

Most sincere condolences to you and your family .. peace and hugs ...

Erin said...

I am so sorry. All who loved Ken will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Nic said...

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I was 8 when my grandad, who lived (relatively, this is the UK..) far away. I saw him in school holidays, and I knew I was loved unconditionally. And although the loss was huge, the good things are what I remember. With your support, your girls will be fine, although they may find it hard to believe in the old saw "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all..." for a while.

My thoughts are with you all.

Rani said...

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. *hugs*