I arrived home safely from the SCBWI show in NY, after Air Canada’s best attempts to strand me in Montreal for a few extra hours, and our plane got in only 45 minutes late. Sitting in airport lounges for longer than expected gave me lots of time to journal about my experiences and reflect upon WHY I feel so strongly that this is what I need to do.
What is this hunger to speak or draw stories into being? What is this restless gnawing in the pit of our souls that demands release? No wonder the creative process is often compared to giving birth... the travails of loving something enough to it change you as it grows inside of you... and the sheer work/pain/sweat of bringing it into the world where you set it free to grow and have a life of its own...
The feel of holding the first and second books that I illustrated were similar to the wonder that swept through me as I held each of my daughters in my arms for the first time. Each one was unique. Both of them were different from the other and yet that same swell of emotion poured forth from some deep inner well of my being. “Look, World! Look at what I have helped to create!”
In an instant, all of the work and pain and sweat are forgotten in some glorious euphoria of pride and you know that you would do it all again. That you would put yourself in that place of vulnerability and doubt and sweat and angst because it is simply what you need to do.
I wish I didn’t have meetings today. All I really want to do is paint after all the ideas I got this weekend!