Packing is SUCH a PAIN!

Packing for a vacation is stressful, but nothing like packing for a trade show or event.  I woke bolt upright this morning thinking about the 2 things for the classes I will be teaching in Toronto that had NOT made it into my suitcase last night.  The worry that I will forget something important and have to fly by the seat of my pants makes the last 24 hours before a show really difficult for me.

It’s funny, but once  I am on the plane then I seem to relax because I know that there’s nothing I can do but go with the flow and adapt.  It is the running around before I leave, trying desperately to remember everything that I find much more challenging.

Is it easier to leave the kids behind as they get older?  It is different.

I can still remember the guilty feeling of freedom to be in my own head space that I felt that first year flying up to teach at what was then the Creative Sewing and Needlework Festival.  Time to write in my journal on the plane, no one’s food to cut, rediscovering myself as a person instead of just a Mom... those were all heady stuff.

Now my girls are both capable of getting themselves out the door in the morning to school and even helping with or making a basic supper.  While they may not need my help as much, I know that they will still miss me.  The hugs were much stronger this morning than usual.

Absence can make the heart grow fonder.  Maybe their rooms will be tidier when I get home.

Did I mention how much I hate packing? Here is another reason... stuff gets lost!

Yesterday, I did all the laundry to get ahead and wash up some of the clothes I needed for the show.  It promised to be a beautiful, sunny day with a nice breeze so despite the bitter morning cold, I put laundry out on the line.  Silly dragon!

I checked it again before I left to teach my pre-supper Weight Watcher meeting and some things were still a bit damp, so I left Nick a note to get stuff off the line when he got home.

Last night as I was packing, the only thing missing was my good dress bra.  When I asked Nick about it, he said he hadn’t seen it.

I found it this morning in my garden, covered in frost.

Needless to say... it is going in the dryer before I put that sucker on!

I HATE PACKING!

Father’s Day 2010

It is an odd sort of day for me... the first one I’ve ever been through were I couldn’t pick up the phone and call him.  If I am honest with myself, his death affected me far more profoundly than I’d expected, especially when Nick and I realized that our mothers and stepfathers were growing older too. It is a strange and scary thing to be hit in the face with the thought of being the “end of your line” when you still feel so young at heart inside.  Maybe that is why I hid from being out here in cyberspace for a while... 

This year it was more important than ever for both of us to thank the other Dads in our lives, the stepfathers who have been there through thick and thin, especially over the past few months.  They are more precious to Nick and I than we can sometimes put into words or find the right card for, but we really tried this year to let those wonderful men know that they were the fathers of our hearts!

There are many men in our lives who play important roles as nurturers, role models, guides along our path in life, teachers, protectors, providers and comforters.  If this is a day when we celebrate those attributes and those special people in our lives, it should also be a day where we choose to celebrate our own inner strengths as well.

Nick has been away since early Thursday morning chaperoning the grade 8 trip for his school with some other brave teachers and parents.  I have kept in touch with him by phone, but I have been the only adult in the house for 4 days now and I miss him very much.  I have had to do quite a few things out of my comfort zone from BBQ meat to check the tire pressure and inflate a tire.  Showing my girls how to pump gas or put the hubcaps back on teaches them that they can find their inner strengths too when they have to, as well as appreciate the men who so often handle those tasks.

Whether Father’s Day is a special one of joy or a sad marking of what is missing in your lives, I hope that you take the time to honour those in your life, regardless of gender, who made a difference and inspired you to greater things.  

When we remember to tell the people who matter to us most how special they are, it is always a special day.

Saying Goodbye...

The past 3 weeks have been a blur of teaching then waiting then crying and traveling.  Now at last I am home again with my family and trying to prepare for Christmas.  I didn’t blog during this time because I just didn’t know how to write my goodbye to my father.  Then I got to speak at his memorial service and wrote this:

My earliest memories of my father were of him singing Scarlet Ribbons or the Lord’s Prayer to me before bed.  I remember the sensation of being lifted WAY up into his arms or onto his shoulders for an eagle’s eye view of the world.  Before Costco or Warehouse type shelving, we never lost Dad in a store because we could always see him over the aisles!

Car trips, especially the long ones to Connecticut were spent learning to sing in 4 part harmony or playing silly word games in a pre DS, DVD and iPod era.  Everyone wanted to make sure that Dad didn’t fall asleep at the wheel, especially  if he’d been out for a delivery the night before!

Dad was a dreamer and an adventurer... full of big ideas and infinite possibilities.  This took him from Montreal to Hawaii to Tulsa... and each time there were new, deep friendships that formed.

Delivering babies was a kind of magic for Dad.  He used to describe the sense of purpose and rightness that he felt each time he held a newborn in his big, gentle hands.  When we were younger, I think we resented the fact that babies didn’t follow a 9-5 schedule.  His beeper could go off at the movies, during your birthday party or even in the middle of church, yet as we grew to have dreams of our own to follow, we understood that a job can be a Calling.

Dad found love more than once in his life... and while it hurt as children to have him leave and move so far away, I know that in the end, our family just got bigger.  Dad was loved by so many of you... Thank you for honouring his memory by being here today.

The last time that I saw Dad, he was still dreaming of possibilities... his smile was still gentle and his eyes still twinkled.

Dad taught all of us some important things- love with all your heart, grab sleep whenever you can, chase your dreams, do what you love, grow older but keep a childlike sense of wonder, try to just live your faith daily(leave being perfect up to God) and no matter what height you are... STAND TALL!

Goodbye Dad!