Father’s Day 2010

It is an odd sort of day for me... the first one I’ve ever been through were I couldn’t pick up the phone and call him.  If I am honest with myself, his death affected me far more profoundly than I’d expected, especially when Nick and I realized that our mothers and stepfathers were growing older too. It is a strange and scary thing to be hit in the face with the thought of being the “end of your line” when you still feel so young at heart inside.  Maybe that is why I hid from being out here in cyberspace for a while... 

This year it was more important than ever for both of us to thank the other Dads in our lives, the stepfathers who have been there through thick and thin, especially over the past few months.  They are more precious to Nick and I than we can sometimes put into words or find the right card for, but we really tried this year to let those wonderful men know that they were the fathers of our hearts!

There are many men in our lives who play important roles as nurturers, role models, guides along our path in life, teachers, protectors, providers and comforters.  If this is a day when we celebrate those attributes and those special people in our lives, it should also be a day where we choose to celebrate our own inner strengths as well.

Nick has been away since early Thursday morning chaperoning the grade 8 trip for his school with some other brave teachers and parents.  I have kept in touch with him by phone, but I have been the only adult in the house for 4 days now and I miss him very much.  I have had to do quite a few things out of my comfort zone from BBQ meat to check the tire pressure and inflate a tire.  Showing my girls how to pump gas or put the hubcaps back on teaches them that they can find their inner strengths too when they have to, as well as appreciate the men who so often handle those tasks.

Whether Father’s Day is a special one of joy or a sad marking of what is missing in your lives, I hope that you take the time to honour those in your life, regardless of gender, who made a difference and inspired you to greater things.  

When we remember to tell the people who matter to us most how special they are, it is always a special day.

Saying Goodbye...

The past 3 weeks have been a blur of teaching then waiting then crying and traveling.  Now at last I am home again with my family and trying to prepare for Christmas.  I didn’t blog during this time because I just didn’t know how to write my goodbye to my father.  Then I got to speak at his memorial service and wrote this:

My earliest memories of my father were of him singing Scarlet Ribbons or the Lord’s Prayer to me before bed.  I remember the sensation of being lifted WAY up into his arms or onto his shoulders for an eagle’s eye view of the world.  Before Costco or Warehouse type shelving, we never lost Dad in a store because we could always see him over the aisles!

Car trips, especially the long ones to Connecticut were spent learning to sing in 4 part harmony or playing silly word games in a pre DS, DVD and iPod era.  Everyone wanted to make sure that Dad didn’t fall asleep at the wheel, especially  if he’d been out for a delivery the night before!

Dad was a dreamer and an adventurer... full of big ideas and infinite possibilities.  This took him from Montreal to Hawaii to Tulsa... and each time there were new, deep friendships that formed.

Delivering babies was a kind of magic for Dad.  He used to describe the sense of purpose and rightness that he felt each time he held a newborn in his big, gentle hands.  When we were younger, I think we resented the fact that babies didn’t follow a 9-5 schedule.  His beeper could go off at the movies, during your birthday party or even in the middle of church, yet as we grew to have dreams of our own to follow, we understood that a job can be a Calling.

Dad found love more than once in his life... and while it hurt as children to have him leave and move so far away, I know that in the end, our family just got bigger.  Dad was loved by so many of you... Thank you for honouring his memory by being here today.

The last time that I saw Dad, he was still dreaming of possibilities... his smile was still gentle and his eyes still twinkled.

Dad taught all of us some important things- love with all your heart, grab sleep whenever you can, chase your dreams, do what you love, grow older but keep a childlike sense of wonder, try to just live your faith daily(leave being perfect up to God) and no matter what height you are... STAND TALL!

Goodbye Dad!

A Wonderful Time at the CreativFestival...

I arrived home safely despite some VERY bumpy turbulence on the way home and dragged my suitcases to the basement Sunday night before falling into bed.  Unlike some of the wonderful stitchers I spent time with this past weekend, I had the luxury of not having to go to work early Monday morning!  As soon as the kids were on the bus, I went home and crawled back into  bed to catch up on some of the sleep that I missed over the weekend.  Then Nick came home sick from work and hour or so later and I have switched into nurse and mom mode ever since.

What wonderful memories I have!  From getting fabulous ideas from stitchers (I’m already doodling my “muddy” little dragon) to hilarious giggles over chart symbols, the weekend was full of wonderful memories.  I’d also like to thank all the friends (rather than students because that is what you’ve become over the years!) who jumped in to help snip floss, collect class fees and pass things out to make up for Teresa’s hands not being there and having extra things to kit up.  You were my guardian angels and I appreciate the help more than I could ever put into words!

To Karen and Erica who went above and beyond, I owe you more thanks than this dragon has words for.  I would have been totally lost without your support , thoughtful gestures and helping hands.

The photos of the class models (including the two of Teresa’s that I had with me) are up on the website under the secure links we discussed in our classes.  If you have any trouble with the URLs, just e-mail me to double check how they are listed and that way you will have your photo reference to work from.  Remember that if you run into any problems or have questions as you stitch the pieces, I am always just an e-mail away.

Finally, to all those of you who traveled from near and far to share time with me this weekend, I send tired but big dragon hugs to all of you.  You truly are the reason I just can’t walk away from designing things to stitch... you are all far too much fun to spend time with. I’m already planning new things for next fall!

Hoarding Gratitude...

Every now and then, there are books that reach out, grab you and speak to you deep in the core of your being. I am experiencing that on 2 levels right now...

The first is in watching Erin discover Susan Cooper’s The Dark Is Rising sequence that so enchanted me as a young girl and having the pleasure of rereading it myself. What fun to totally soak myself in wonderful fantasy about good vs. evil, dark vs. light and being heroic when times are tough. This kind of classic literature never goes out of style and is timeless enough that my own children can read it over 30 years after I did!

The second is exploring the many thoughts that I have while reading my Christmas present from my sister. Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnatch was first written over 10 years ago as a daily meditation/day book. It is perfect for women who feel overwhelmed, unsure of where to head next, in transition, in crisis or frustrated at the sense of chaos that our world sends our way with its “have it all, get it all, do it all, need it all” mentality. As the title suggests, the book helps the reader look at all they have, how to find serenity in having less and how to live more joyfully and gratefully than they were before. Since I read back over some of my posts from last year and noticed that when times were tough, I sometimes tended to get a bit whiny, I think this book may be perfect for me!

One of the tasks that I have enjoyed most from the book so far is the creation of a Gratitude Journal. Anyone who’s ever watched Oprah or listened to some popular motivational speakers will be familiar with the concept of ending each day counting the blessings that it had contained and writing down a set number of them into a journal... I certainly was. What I was not prepared for was the incredible difference it has made in my ability to fall asleep with gratitude instead of anxiety. I am thinking thankfully about what has gone right in the day that has just ended instead of making mental notes to myself about all the things that I need to accomplish the following day. Not that I am skipping around in a daze of non-productivity... in fact another book that my sister sent me is making a HUGE difference in that area as well, but that will be a whole other blog entry.

I am discovering the pleasure of hoarding gratitude. Just picture a dragon curled around a treasure of little glistening, translucent bubbles and sparkling crystals of wonderful memories or special events. Not gems or jewelry that might be stolen by some pesky knight, but precious wisps of things intangible...

I knew that I had a journal in my box of blanks that was perfect for this project because it was covered with little smiling hippos. I had given it to my grandmother about 14 years ago for Christmas and my Mom returned it to me a year or so ago when she found it while tidying out my grandfather’s house. I thought it was completely blank and so did my Mom who glanced through it quickly before sending it to me. Imagine my surprise, delight and slight twinge of sadness when I opened the first page to begin and found two brief entries from her written a few years before her death in October of 2000! Now I think of her each time I sit down at night to write my gratitude list before bed. Since she so often lived this type of simple abundant life and spoke kindly in almost every circumstance... it is wonderfully appropriate that she share those pages with me...

I am grateful for all the wonderful memories I have of her in my life!