Of Couriers, Mail and Tantrums...

One of the best things about blogging is coming up with titles. One of the hardest, this week at least, was finding the few minutes to blog. Not because that meant sending over a file to blogger, but because it meant gathering my scattered thoughts together long enough to not only write coherently, but actually have something to say! Perhaps it is because I can still hear my grandmother’s voice over my shoulder...”If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything!”

I’ve always believed in counting my blessings... so here goes:

Thank goodness for model stitchers, even if couriers that are supposed to deliver something overnight to a city less than 3 hours away take OVER 24 hours to do so.

Thank goodness for shops who think to check with me when something takes too long to arrive in the mail... so that we can find out that the parcel has gone missing instead of me wondering why my cheque is late and them wondering where the stuff they ordered is...

Thank goodness that both my girls have recovered enough to have fights with me and pick on each other instead of “being nice to her because she’s sick”...

Thank goodness that once they fall asleep, they can’t have any more tantrums (and they look SO cute when they are asleep!)

Thank goodness I found all the stitches I dropped in my knitting tonight when I tried to watch TV instead of just listen....

Thank goodness that the past few days have been filled with fun as well as challenges and that each tomorrow is always full of unexpected possibilities.

Thinking Long TerM and Short Term at the same time

Ah the chaos and joy of Monday mornings. This was such a busy weekend that it doesn’t feel as if I have rested much.. but it is nice to have the quite house.

I sat down to try to plan out long term projects for 2004. I wonder if this is how swimsuit models feel trying to look warm and sunny on a beach somewhere in the middle of December... I know that many industries work far ahead, but sometimes my brain has trouble with that. I also need to keep things flexible, because you just never know when a new design idea will bump something out of your “lineup” and demand to butt ahead!

I’m also looking at how many weeks there are until Christmas (anyone else counted and panicked yet?) to break down both work and gift making agendas into manageable loads. (deep breath... no panicking!) I am amazed at how my calendar is cluttering up with events and activities too. Not that this is a bad thing, it is fun to be social! Most of all I am looking forward to NOT going anywhere this year. As much fun as it is to get together with family, I am looking forward to one Christmas in our own house... something Bethany has yet to experience!

Back to work... I never thought I would make up little to do lists like my Mom, but they come in handy!

Enjoying Someone Else’s Designs...

Last night, after a full day to myself to get some work done and sort through the piles that are trying to take over my office, I decided to get out the piece that I took to retreat last weekend. It is called SNOWMAN, by Sisters and Best Friends, featuring a cheery snowman in a cap, some garlands, patterns and the words “Just Add Snow”.

As I write this, the first few flakes of some snow are falling outside after torrential rain yesterday. Funny how temperatures can change so quickly, isn’t it?

I think that one of the reasons that I am enjoying this design so much is that I am like most stitchers now... I have all the pleasure of seeing how much better it looks in my hands that in the photograph. ( Designers have to deal with the frustration of knowing that you can never get it to look quite like the model!) I am also enjoying this piece because the colours are so very different that the ones I normally use in my designs. There is a certain fun and wildness about stitching the teal next to the purple and red to see something jump out at you. I am feeling like I did when I first started stitching “I’m just going to see what this next little bit looks like....”

Yet, having watched the incredible speeds of some of the stitchers in Toronto, and some who work for me, there is also the knowledge of how slow my hands go some days. Since I am a slow stitcher, I tend to take comfort in being neat and taking pleasure in what progress IS made , rather than how fast I am progressing. Thank goodness for talented model stitchers to help! I think the only way Nick and I ever turned out the designs we did was to stitch stuff in tandem and for me to stay up until midnight on a regular basis for me to get the models done!

I almost felt guilty stitching on something “just for fun” last night... which made me giggle. Though I come close sometimes, I hope I never see designing as a J..O..B! Hard work perhaps.... but never just a job!

Why are Good-Byes Always Hard?

The house seems so empty now. I had to get everyone off today, including my Mum and John as they headed home. Erin was almost in tears at the bus stop... Bethany was a little easier to coax because their Cairn Terrier, Maggie, came in to see her class at the daycare when we dropped Bethany off and gave sloppy puppy kisses to the kids.

No matter how grown up I am, part of me wishes my Mom lived in the same city as me. I am lucky enough to have a great relationship with her and my stepfather, John, has brought so much love, music and silliness into our lives that I wish it could happen more often.

Yet, I also love this city and where Nick and I have chosen to raise our family and be part of a community... just as my sister has done in Vancouver and my brother with his wife in Switzerland. When you love a place, it is hard not to want to stay there... but I can’t help wish that all my family were closer. At least on a day where I have just had to say goodbyes.

I am sure that there will be some “Nanny Hangover” with the girls over the next few days, but I will just try to be more patient with them, struggling to keep that post-retreat glow and serenity about me.

Today there are orders to ship, orders to pack, a model to get to the framers, a publisher to contact, paperwork to handle and a nice, quiet house in which to do that... at least for the next few hours. I’d better go make a dent in the piles!

The Sheer MAGIC of Cross Stitch Retreats....

It’s like a magic potion... getting away to the cross stitch retreat this weekend has put so much bounce back in my step that I have to be careful when I go through the doorways! (bonk! bonk!)

I don’t even know when it really began... as I was picking out a project that WASN’T mine to stitch on for the weekend and packing up my stitching box? When I got into the car with my friend Sue to drive up to retreat and the two of us just had a chance to talk on the 35 minute drive out of town? When I stepped into the cozy lodge and saw so many familiar faces already stitching and chatting away? I could literally feel the tension drain from my body.

Friday night is fun because the possibilities are endless...there are old friends to see and chat with that I only get to be with twice a year at these retreats. (Some drive over 14 hours to be there!) Since most of the “stitching circles” had already been set up by the time Sue and I got there, we put our stuff up on the stage. I faced out towards everyone, because as a tall, nosy dragon, I like to see what it going on. At one point in the weekend, one group got the giggles and told me later that they suddenly realized if aliens had landed among us to observe the scene... they would have though I was the Leader! LOL!!! Sue and I were tired enough from our weeks that we headed off to bed before 11 pm... but at least we’d set up our “nook” and started on some stitching.

Saturday is my favourite day of the retreat. I get to sleep in until at least 7:30 or 8:00. Since the accommodations are all bunk beds and I tend to hang over the end a bit too much, I take one of the mattresses and put in on the floor with my cozy sleeping bag... but by that time of day, someone usually trips over me getting up or I have to pee! When I wander up to the main lodge, there is the smell of a breakfast that I don’t have to cook and the pleasant sound of chatter as we all try to squeeze in some stitching time before breakfast.
This year, there was not only a craft sale at the nearby craft hall, we also held one amongst ourselves. What incredible talent in one small group!! Not only did I pick up some wonderful Christmas presents early, I even ended up with a stuffed animal for myself! The knitted bunny was intended for Bethany...but I tested it out Saturday night and now it is mine. (Mine! Mine! Mine! à a seagulls in Finding Nemo) Amid all of this on Saturday morning, there was also plenty of time to stitch. Many of us braved the icy wind after lunch for a brief walk... some took naps... some of us took a “make your own cards” workshop after supper.. drew names for fabulous door prizes... stitched some more... nibbled on the delicious late-night snacks etc. The evening was even capped off by the fact that there was a lunar eclipse of the full moon that was visible right outside the main lodge (we kept running in and out because it was just so darn cold out there!!) Saturday night ends up being jammie night too... as everyone tries to stay up and get a lot of stitching and giggling done. (can you say “Milk Factory”? Do you have a pink flamingo on your Dazor? Were you in the “fruit n’ toot corner”?...sorry.... just inside jokes for those who were there) By the time we all head off to bed on Saturday, the twinge of regret has started to seep in. Tomorrow will be our last day together for 6 months.

Sunday mornings are actually a little bit earlier than at home. There is a time of fellowship in the morning that I never want to miss. After breakfast, there are door prizes to finish and a wonderful ornament exchange to draw for. Most of us are still stitching on the fabulous “quick 20 minute project” that Elizabeth has created for all of us with our registration goody bags. As usual, I complicate my life considerably by trying to design my own thing. Thank goodness when I mess up and twiddle with it, no one else knows what I thought it was going to look like! Lunch comes all too quickly and then by 1 pm, most of us are packing up and heading off after many hugs and “see you next retreat”s.

What is the single, magic ingredient? I’m not sure it is only one. There are so many stories of courage among the women who attend. Tragedies and triumphs... chances to smile at shiny engagement rings... moments to hug in sympathy and support... time to miss those we have lost to cancer.. Retreat is like a wonderful piece of needlework with all its special stitches, dark and bright colours, and magical threads. We may only see the one thread that we bring to the event, but it weaves into a beautiful design when everything is combined.

Even with all the e-mail to answer this morning and tasks to do, I am refreshed and restored by the weekend and that will linger with me, along with the fun memories, for many weeks to come!

The Cavalry Has Arrived!!

I do indeed know what it is like to be a cruise director... to one tiny little hard to please customer! Bethany was definitely feeling better today and kept ordering me to produce new activities whenever she got bored. Of course, having some work to do, I didn’t always respond fast enough for her liking. She is still sick enough (and at 4 still egocentric enough) that this produced several tantrums today when I didn’t bow to her every wish.

But now Nanny and Grr ( Erin couldn’t quite say Granddad when she was little and the nickname stuck) are here and there is an endless parade of new things to show and share that they haven’t heard 14 million times like Mommy and Daddy have!

I am also looking forward to retreat... so if I am not blogging much in the next few days... you will know that I am off relaxing and recharging batteries. I’ll try to post tomorrow before I waltz off and leave the girls in the capable hands here.... (hee! Hee!)

I Think She Must Be Feeling A Bit Better....

Isn’t it amazing how you know when your child is on the mend... because they want to be entertained... and yet they have the attention span of a fruit fly!!

I have felt like a cruise director all day! Thank goodness that I had some beads to couch down on a model, some yarn to knit with and graph paper to draw on during the brief DVD break today...because other than that this has been a day of playdough, paints, bead necklaces, construction paper to snip and “help” with the household chores.

I know that she still isn’t herself because whenever she meets with frustration, such as spilling or not having something go her way, there are the tears and tantrums that only a 4 year old can pull. We’ve had one less baking soda bath than yesterday and no new crops of spots... so perhaps we’ve crested the hill on this.

My Mom and stepfather arrive tomorrow and the girls are also in that pre-grandparents high of not wanting to sleep tonight. Is it selfish of me to be looking forward to the escape of the stitching retreat this weekend? (I can’t wait!!!) I’ve been tempted to just take someone else’s design up with me... yes, stitch something that’s NOT mine just to have fun (because even though I like stitching my stuff, I KNOW what it will look like... there’s no fun of anticipation!) The only fly in that ointment is that I just got a really neat idea for a design....
We shall see!!

I have a graphics job for a client that has been almost impossible to work on this week, even though they understand about Bethany being sick, so I am going to work on it tonight once I get the girls down instead of going to choir practice. Maybe I will just hum as I type tonight!

Mommy Dragon Wishes She Could Flame the Germs Away!

There is something so frustratingly helpless about watching your child suffer. I wish that I had magic enough to flame germs at the microscopic level in which they exist... but all I can do is watch how they are making Bethany suffer. Yesterday, it got so bad that we had to take her into Outpatients at the hospital. She has developed a host of chicken pox in a place that little girls (and even big girls) do NOT want to have them. The doctor said that it was one of the worst he’d ever seen and gave us some topical anesthetic to use VERY sparingly. I think she would live in a baking soda bath 24/7 right now if she didn’t keep looking like a little pink raisin!

This morning, I think that we have turned the corner (although she still has a crop of new ones elsewhere on her body) because she is in much better humour and at least willing to eat a bit of food or play.

How hard it must be for parents who face more serious illnesses with their children. At least I have had the comfort all along of knowing that, though painful as this outbreak has been for both my girls, it IS something from which they can recover. It has been a wonderful way to teach them both to count your blessings even in the midst of a yucky experience. It is also good to know that when 30 years have passed, thinking back to this illness, as I have been remembering my own bout with Chicken Pox, the memories will be vague and distant instead of vivid.

Here come the spots on Bethany!!

Well... I spent the whole week resizing photos to get the web site updated last night after Trick or Treating. It was a great evening... clear but not too cold. Erin was dressed up as a “nice” vampire (“the kind that only scares bad guys, Mom”) and Bethany was an adorable princess who kept trying to out race every one to the door. We went out with 4 other kids and 2 other Moms who were also in costume. For some funny reason, even though I was in costume, all my neighbours knew it was me!?!

After about an hour and a half, Erin started feeling itchy and funny again, so we came home to get an antihistamine while Bethany tagged along to the last 2 houses with the others. The doctor warned Erin that this type of flare-up would happen for a while with excitement or stress. Then everyone came to our house for a little play and peek at the loot.

Just as everyone was heading home, Bethany suddenly bolted for the bathroom and began begin violently ill to her stomach. I assumed that she was overtired and over-candied until I saw the first spots on her back... yup...Round 2 of Chicken Pox here we go!!!

At least they are happening now before I head off to Cross Stitch Retreat next weekend. If both my girls had broken out while I was away... I think my name would have been MUD!!

So now I have put up the results of the Dani the Dragon contest... and it was SO hard to pick winners. I am worried that lots of people won’t agree with my choices... that there will be hurt feelings... but I just kept coming back to some designs more than others and so did the people I asked to help me whittle the top 10 down to 3. Nick thinks it is funny that with all the colour choices I received... the 3 winners are green dragons... but it was the extras that tipped the balance... not the colours. That’s why I have so many Honorable Mentions!!

Bethany was a warm, sooky bundle on my lap as I started to type this blog. 2 hours later, after an Aveeno bath, medicine and bed (for her) I can finally finish my blog!

Brisk Walks and Arms Full of Leaves...

The kids in our School District have no school today or tomorrow as teachers do Parent/Teacher interviews and Professional Development days. I think that will Halloween falling on a Friday this year that was a clever way to avoid the excitement overload of kids whose brains are more set on trick-or-treating than learning!

Erin had a friend over to play this morning, so I did get a bit caught up on e-mail... but my office is a total disaster zone and this weekend I simply must go through all that kitchen counter clutter that piled up while Erin was sick. It isn’t just possessions that clutter up our houses. .. there is simply to much paper everywhere!! From school memos and the latest fundraiser to business information, cheques and bills. Too much!! Give me a town crier and less possessions any day!!

After the interview with Erin’s teacher, Nick dropped Erin and I off at the post office about 15 minutes from home so that I could send out a model to a stitcher. Erin and I then walked home in the blustery fall afternoon. I usually make that walk fairly quickly... but I haven’t had a child to it with me in a while. Erin was fascinated with the large gold maple leaves and kept picking up every “perfect” specimen (ie. no spots, tears or big blemishes) so that she could press then when we got home. (Oh... MORE clutter!!) She was skipping along in sheer joy with this huge armful of leaves, so totally caught up in the moment. Kids are a great reminder about just living life and enjoying each moment. I must learn to do that myself more often!

Playing Courier Tag... or A Dragon Chasing Her Tail

Why is is that couriers always seem to come to your house to deliver things during the small window that you might NOT be there instead of during the many hours that you are? I am waiting for more bags... so that I can batch up some orders that are ready, except for the bags, and came home to find the note stuck to the mail box that the courier had been in our neighbourhood early today. Arrrgh!

Tomorrow I have a meeting at Erin’s school since I have been elected to sit on the PSSC (A Parent Advisory Committee to help with school improvement) and so I had to fill out this long list of instructions of where they could leave said boxes... and hope that they find it in the brass mailbox since the weatherman is calling for blowing wind and rain tomorrow. Will they find it? Will they follow instructions? Will I have another note left and have to drive to the opposite end of the city tomorrow night to get my bags?

There are times when having an office staff or secretary would be nice... even a well trained pet! But at least this means that the bags are in the city. Won’t Nick be overjoyed to know that we have more bagging to do! (I can see the nervous tick starting up again already!)

The Joy of How Voices Blend...

For once, thanks to the time change, getting everyone out to church this morning and making it to rehearsal for choir was relatively easy! We were singing an anthem with the most glorious harmonies.. and at first I was a bit panicky about having missed choir practice last Wednesday to look after Erin. I have a good ear but my sight reading can be a bit slow sometimes. Thankfully, the tenor line came back quickly considering that I’ve only sung the anthem through a few times before today.

There is nothing quite like the moment when all the parts blend to make such a wonderful, musical whole! To hear your own voice and how it blends in with the others to keep the parts distinct and yet blending is something I absolutely love. The only other thing that has ever come close has been the joy and privilege of designing with Karen Weaver and Teresa Wentzler on the Legends pieces... that blending of talents that makes a greater whole and the sheer joy of spending time with two such special and talented ladies.

I came home and indulged in an afternoon nap (since I got up with the wide-awake kids early this morning) and then worked some more on the illustrations that had troubled me so much on Friday. This time, my hands seemed much more cooperative... so it was good to make some headway.

I snuck down to write this as my girls are watching “The Wizard of Oz” on TV upstairs. This is one of our favourite family movies... though Bethany still finds the “mean green witchy” kind of scary.

Erin will be heading back to school tomorrow.. and so far Bethany hasn’t broken out in spots... so I will indeed enjoy a quiet house to work in tomorrow morning!!

When Hands Don’t Work.. Or I Am My Own Worst Critic...

Erin had another rough day. She seemed fine this morning and even played with her friend who also has had chicken pox this week at our house so that the other mother could have a break like I did yesterday... but then by mid-afternoon she had another painful “flare-up” and was running a low grade fever again.

I’ve been working on some illustrations, because it is easier to draw near her than be down in the basement office on the computer, yet my hands just are not cooperating today and it is VERY frustrating. This is one of those days where I can see the images so clearly in my head... yet I am just not satisfied with what is coming out on the pages before me. Drawing is like that sometimes. It’s not really a block, just a sense of regret that my hands don’t seem to be living up to the images I can see in my head. Nick always tells me I am being picky at this stage... but I can’t help it!!

It’s also been a few weeks since I have drawn on anything but graph paper... and there is no doubt that it is a transition back to pencil, pen and ink. I often think that I should find an hour each day to just draw... so that my hands will keep limber... but where do I squeeze it in?? I shall just push on and know that either the flow will be easier in the next couple of days, or I shall get an outside opinion to tell if I am being too picky or hard on myself.

But those beautiful images in my head still haunt me... sometimes it is so hard to be able to see one way and have my hands feel so clumsy trying to bring them to life. It is like trying to hold on to a shimmering soap bubble or a summer afternoon or the last hug with someone you love before they leave...

STIR CRAZY....

Erin is finally feeling better enough to drive us both crazy today. Actually, that isn’t really fair. Considering all the itchy-scratchiness she’s been through, she’s been a real trouper ...but it has been grey and rainy and cold here all week...she misses her friends and she is starting to get a bit bored. She did go across the street to play with her friend who was 12 hours behind her catching chicken pox, but they both got a bit tired and cranky.

I keep peering at Bethany in the bath at night watching for spots. It is so much harder with the second child!! With Erin, I knew she was a bit “off” on that last day home with me before Toronto, but I never imagined it would be chicken pox!! Now we know that Bethany has been exposed to them, and are truly hoping to just get this over and done with, she is getting just a wee bit tired of Mommy pulling up her shirt to see if she has any spots yet, and yet also hoping for her turn to stay home and “be sick and spoiled by Mommy”!

I’d best get Miss Erin some paper to draw on or a mug of hot chocolate... but at least I had a chance to check e-mail while she was out and can now stitch on something while she watches a movie! I’ve been trying not to do work in the evenings this week and just knit on the scarf I am making with the BOA yarn. It is much more fun and relaxing to “play” than work in the evening!

Back From Toronto To Save Super Dad... ‘Cause What Are The Odds?

I got in from Toronto late last night to a bitter wind and the sight of softly falling snowflakes as I was driven home from the airport. Nick was waiting for me eagerly... because, as those taking classes from me this weekend heard, Erin broke out with CHICKEN POX on Friday night!!! The poor thing has got a very bad case indeed and is not only covered from head to toe in the telltale red spots, she also has waves of getting huge welts and sudden almost shingle-like rashes whenever the Benadryll wears off. Yesterday morning she could hardly move her hands because they had swollen so badly, but Nick took her up to the clinic to be seen and they said to just keep doing all the things he was. I know that he’s glad to have me home to help nurse her through this, especially since Bethany may be a few days or even weeks behind, but right now doesn't understand why pestering her big sister reduces Erin to tears. Poor Nick... what are the odds that he’d have to cope with this on top of just being a single dad for the weekend?? At least that explains why she was feeling so sick on Thursday as I was getting ready to head off to Toronto!

The show was SO much fun!! I truly enjoy spending time with stitchers, seeing familiar faces and getting to know people face to face when I’ve only had a chance to talk by e-mail. I found it a bit grueling on Friday and Saturday to be teaching 2 classes each day, so I am going to be more careful next year when I submit my class proposals. I also really valued the feedback that many stitchers/students shared about what they like, what they’d like to see in the future and what keeps them passionate about needlework. While I never had the chance to meet her, I did hear about one woman at the show who had won some money in the lottery and was there to spend her winnings on things that she’d always dreamed of but never been able to justify. Sound like the ultimate stash enhancing experience and a dream come true if I ever heard it! The most incredible thing about the CSNF in Toronto is that it combines SO many different things in one show; quilting, knitting, sewing, weaving, beading, needlework, crochet, doll-making, teddy bears, soap and candle-making, scrap booking, tole painting and much more!! I simply don’t have enough lifetimes to do all the wonderful things I saw in 4 days!!

I also really enjoyed the intimacy of teaching/spending time with a limited bunch of people for a 2 hour or half day class. The camaraderie among stitchers, to be among people who share the same love of seeing rows of colours or discovering new fibres or techniques, really does recharge my creative batteries on some deep level.

Even now that I am considered a more “established” designer, I still incredibly humbled by the fact that people want to spend time with me or consider that a big deal! (I guess since I live with me 24/7, I don’t see what all the excitement is about! ) I am just another human being, more scatterbrained that some... a bit less shy and demure than others... but still just a person following a dream and working hard to make it a reality. It is I that should be thanking all the stitchers out there who stitch up the designs my crazy imagination has come up with!!

Now that I have caught up on the blog and downloaded my e-mail, I am going to take the rest of today and just spend it with my two girls... who have been down about 3 times to check on me as I write this. It is cold and grey and rainy, so I think perhaps some warm chocolate chip cookies are in order.. and tonight I will look forward to knitting with the incredibly cool BOA yarn (Nick thought it would be CONSTRICTOR colours... not fuzzy like a feather boa!) that I picked up in Toronto at the show.

Toronto Bound Until Tuesday

Today was my last day to get everything wrapped up for the Creative Sewing and Needlework Festival in Toronto this weekend. The alarm is set to wake me at 4:15 so that I can get out to the airport for the first flight out. It is harder on my body to get up that early and teach all day, but much easier on my girls to have one less night of Mom not there to tuck them in.

Today was also supposed to be picture day for Erin at school. We were in the process of curling the ends of her hair under with the curling iron after bringing some of it back in a ponytail when Erin was suddenly and violently ill into the bathroom sink.... so she stayed home with me. Was it the flu making a rebound in our house or was she just very aware that Mommy was heading off and had a “nervous tummy” as Nick’s mother calls it?

I always find I am more nervous in the last 24 hours as I try to remember everything I need to do or bring. I can’t exactly run home if I forget something important!! Once I am there, I love being with people.... the extrovert in me loves being out and sharing my love of needlework. Nick calls it being “ON”, kind of like the same high you get acting in a play, but I get to be myself.

Yet it is also such a wrench when Bethany burst into tears. I had been saying good night to her when she replied “See you.... when you get back and NOT in the morning!” and then began to cry in big gut-wrenching sobs. Last year at 3 1/2, her mantra was “Mommy don’t go to ‘Ronto!”

My sister, Laurie, once gave me a wonderful book called “A Question of Balance” by Judith Pierce Rosenberg which profiled artists and writers to see how they had balanced Motherhood and the professions. It is going with me on the plane instead of a new novel to read because I remember loving it so much when she first gave it to me as I struggled to start my freelance business from home with a newborn underfoot.

I won’t be blogging until at least Tuesday afternoon... so until then, the Dragon will be keeping her musings to herself and her journal. May your dreams be inspiring!

Do I need more hours in the day... more time on task ... or just more hands?

The thing about Nick and I being the only ones in the company until Erin’s concept of straight and mine get a little closer (as in glued on straight or cut straight) is that there are just the two of us to do everything, and he already has a very demanding full time job. He is a permanent member of the “Honey can do no wrong” club for even offering to help after a full day of being a Vice-Principal... but the fact remains that big projects or shows leave me more acutely aware of the time crunch. So once Toronto is done, I need to sit down and look at my plate again... make some notes about things I could have done differently... and how to change some of the time crunch issues.

I know that it is always hard to be objective right before a big deadline like this show in Toronto... but part of the “growing pains” is also to determine if I want to grow in a particular direction. I always wanted a job that would dovetail with my family more than it would take me away from it....

Maybe this dragon needs to contemplate her navel (doesn’t that just make me giggle at the image in my head) once she gets back from Toronto!

Of Apple Orchards, Loose Teeth, Turkey Feasts and Floss Snipping...

We’ve been looking forward to yesterday for weeks.... For eight years now, we’ve been driving down the Dieppe side of the Petitcodiac River towards the Belliveau orchard to pick apples as a family. Most of the time, we’ve been accompanied by the same two sets of families and so the photos I take of each family in the orchard have chronicled our children as they grow. There have certainly been changes since that first picture of Erin as a toddler holding a juicy, red apple beneath a tree. The Tremblay clan has jumped from two to four kids with the addition of twins..and at almost seven months, we had the fun of watching them gnaw on their first apples.

The weather was just perfect! It was so warm and sunny that many people wore t-shirts... and no one brought a jacket this year, yet the fall leaves around us on the drive down where in their glory thanks to a few cool nights earlier in the week. The tractor pulled wagons led us over bumpy, winding paths into the orchard, past trees that were laden down with apples of all kinds. We bought our bags and began to fill them.. the kids taking the low branches, our friends the middle branches and of course Nick and I reaching up on our tiptoes to get all of the nice, big apples that no one else had been able to reach without a ladder. We’ve each got one built in!

All was going fine until the kids asked if they could each eat one apple, as is the tradition. Bethany took a big bite of the hard, crunchy apple and let out a howl!! She began to cry and gibber that she’d broken her tooth... so when I looked inside her mouth, sure enough, one of her baby middle teeth on the bottom was bleeding and loose. She’s going to take after me and loose her first tooth at 4 1/2 instead of after she’s 5... but since I’d never noticed that it was even getting loose, and Erin hasn’t lost a tooth in a few months, Bethany hadn’t really figured out that HER teeth would get loose someday. She thought she’d done something wrong and BROKEN it!! The hard apple probably did snap the baby tooth’s root a bit and speed up the process, but for about 10 minutes, she was inconsolable!

Finally, as each older child tried to help by explaining about THEIR loose teeth and Tooth Fairy Loot (leading to a rather over-inflated idea of what she can buy with her “monies”) we got her calmed down enough for the yearly pictures. I took everyone else’s photos first to give her blotchy face time to calm down a bit. As is the nature with kids, but the end of the car ride home, she was joyfully showing us how she could use her tongue to push that tooth forward!

Now... the only dilemma I have with this as a designer... is that the Tooth Fairy Pillow I designed for Erin (almost a year before she ever lost her first tooth since a magazine asked me to create one) has her name on it. It is also only fair that I create something new for Bethany (you just can’t have a “Hand-me-Down” with your sister’s name on it!) but what are the odds of this happening right before I leave for Toronto?? We may have to come up with something fun and temporary since I doubt that tooth will hang on until I get back. I am hoping she will lose if before I go...just to share in her milestone. I’d better design something on the plane or in my hotel room!

After the orchard, with apples, pumpkins, apple wine and fresh veggies in tow, we headed back to the home of one of our friends for a “potluck” Thanksgiving dinner. I’d cooked the turkey Friday while I was home working on the computer, so we brought it already sliced. One family looked after snacks and beverages, while the other handled veggies and amazing pumpkin pie!

I still had to bring a bit of work along... boxes of floss to snip and assemble on cards for the show in Toronto...but that was actually a fun thing to do as the big kids played downstairs, the twins rolled around on the floor at our feet and the grown-ups had a chance to talk. Nick even joked “So is this what’s it’s like to be a famous, glamorous designer?” as I sat in my jeans with piles of 18” strands of floss down one leg of my jeans (I have a nice long space from hip to knee) and the floss cards on the other leg as I looped each bundle through the cards in a half-hitch. No Martha Stewart or Debbie Travis gophers behind the scenes for me... but Nick did sit and stick needles into little bits of aida last night to help out, so I do at least have a “hunky helper”!

It was also wonderful to gather around the table...squeezing all 13 of us on chairs, stools and lap (for the twins when they got fussy) to eat the meal that we had prepared in friendship, and each come up with one thing that we were thankful for as our grace.

Today, after church, we head down the other side of the river to Nick’s Mom’s bed and breakfast for a meal with family. I know that even after the chaos of the past few weeks, I feel truly blessed and very thankful.

I am done crying over spilt milk...

I’m over the urge to put my fist through the computer or just sit in the middle of my office floor and scream... so I can write a semi-coherent blog now.

Tuesday night was a late night getting all the cow files done for Milk Maritime and I made jpgs of the files for the client before shutting down the computer and crawling off to bed. Others who had this flu warned me that there was a backlash a few days after you started feeling better, and yesterday was definitely an off day... and a hectic one with Bethany “helping” do groceries and other errands. Erin had a marvelous run at cross country practice and I had choir practice, so by the time I got home, I went right to bed intending to start fresh this morning.

This morning when I turned on the computer and went to make the three tiny final corrections to the Teacher’s newsletter files, that both the French file and the most recent English version were somehow corrupted and unable to open. Talk about feeling sick to your stomach!! I now know how stitchers who have something spill onto a piece of needlework that they have put countless hours of time into feel when they first see the ruins of their work.

I did get a few graphics friends around town with the same or newer versions of the program to see if they could open the files, but alas... no luck. All my other files are fine and the Parent Newsletter built in a separate program is fine, but the task of recreating and re-typesetting the French version (and bringing the older English version in line with the newer one will have to take up the whole night. Final electronic proofs have to be sent off to Fredericton for government approval tomorrow morning no matter what.

I love the lamentations in the Psalms... because the writer goes ahead and rants to God at the beginning... WHY did this have to happen?? WHY me?? WHY now!! WHAT are the odds and why couldn’t they have been the lottery type instead of the unlucky type.... but like the psalmist by the end of the passage, I can only think of what I DO have...

The files will build faster the second time around....

Nick has been an angel helping with the kids and giving up a night at the gym for his workout so that I have extra time on the computer....

Only the files are toast, not my computer....

Nobody got hurt....

I live in a country of more than plenty....

I can’t wait to teach my classes in Toronto...

“I complained I had no shoes... until I met someone who had no feet....”

Sometimes you just can’t cry over spilled milk. You just do what needs to be done and count the blessings that you do have!

Two steps forward... one step back...

Another nice, quiet Monday morning.. and yet I seem to have so little energy. Perhaps a rebound from the flu that hit our house last week, perhaps a reaction to so much elephant left to eat... but I feel about as sharp as a sack of wet mice!

I slogged away on the corrections to the English Teacher’s newsletter and got all of the French translations in place except one recipe which they forgot to send the French version of... but then the English layout got all moved around about 3 pm this afternoon! I could have just screamed! Now I have to try to compare the French version and figure out which paragraphs to move where... so it is a darned good thing that I can speak both languages to make heads or tails of what I am doing! It would have been SO much easier if they could have gotten the English version to EXACTLY what they wanted and THEN sent if for translation!!!

This morning Bethany asked about next Monday (which is Thanksgiving Monday here in Canada). She knows that she won’t have to go to daycare and that Erin and Nick won’t have to go to school... but then she looks up at me with those big blue eyes and says “can you take a break from your computer too, Mommy?” Ouch! Out of the mouth of babes!

I told her that I would try to have a whole family lazy day... but with leaving for Toronto on the 17th... and all these changes to Milk stuff that should have been wrapped up two weeks ago if the information had been on time may make for some late nights!

This will give me one more twisted grin to make when someone says “Oh... you must love having so much control over your own time working from home!!”