Can Every Artist Relate?



I finished off another piece for my portfolio tonight. I came up with this idea after a huge panic attack last week at the cottage where I dreamed I showed up for my portfolio review late in L.A. because someone had given me the wrong room number. When I finally arrived after running through long, strange hallways, the person in the room told me that I shouldn’t dream of being a professional illustrator if I couldn’t even keep a simple appointment! As I woke up with my heart pounding, I knew that it was just a standard anxiety dream (like before exams in high school or university) but sleep escaped me so I got up to write in my journal for a while... then got the inspiration for this piece.

Since I needed to have at least one drawing in my portfolio that was greyscale, I used everything from a 4H to 8B pencil for as wide a range of tone as possible. I also had fun choosing textures for each fear. I particularly like the oozing drips for Copyright Abuse... since anyone who would steal that way is Slime!

Perfectionism and Envy of Other’s Talents are two of the fears that I wrestle with most often, so of course they had to be slightly dragon or snake like... and Self-Doubt’s fur was fun to draw!

I am sure that any creative soul can relate to this...

Excited About My New Adventures...

June was a total blur. Creating 13 detailed drawings for a client in less than 4 weeks when each drawing went through several changes was tough on the hands but great experience! It will also be nice when the cheque arrives in the mail! My illustrations will grace the 2009 calendar produced by The Hanen Centre and be a great addition to my portfolio! I can’t show off details just yet, since I did sell the copyrights to the client, but here’s a peek at the pile of drawings and the CD I burned of the final artwork before I sent them all off!



Drawing for someone else also gave me time to think as my hands did the work. Unplugging and getting away with my family also helped afterwards as I went for long walks on the beach, watched fabulous sunsets and had time to think about which path I need to follow right now.



I’ve made my decision and posted all the details on the summer issue of my website newsletter for stitchers to read. I don’t want everyone to think of this as an ending, it is just a transition into something else... something that is calling my heart a lot more right now.

It isn’t as if I’ll never design again, I just won’t be publishing my own work after DD-100. I will still come up with some surprise designs now and then, have stuff in magazines or teach classes at fabulous shows like CreativFestival and then make those available later on PatternsOnline.com The numbers from my corporate return were just too stark to keep ignoring, so it is time for the Dragon to put most of her energy into illustration right now.

To that end, I even added a new part to my website! The Sketchbook page is going to be somewhere that I can keep sketches, show off stuff as it is being created or explain to people the process that is involved with bringing an image to life.

There are 10 days until I leave for Los Angeles and the SCBWI conference. I am being really careful not to hurt my back or strain things before such a long flight and my family is starting to think a am a TOTAL wimp for not wanting to lift anything! Hey... I think it is a great way to avoid laundry baskets, grocery bags etc. Before you think I am goofing off completely, let me assure you - I do all the hanging or putting away... just not the lifting!

I am busy finishing off the last few illustrations for my portfolio and going over each selection to make sure that I am taking along my very BEST samples. This gets a little hard to do when the butterflies in your tummy keep turning into DRAGONS... but that even gave me ideas for an image that I’ll post as soon as it is penciled. It is called “Fear of the Blank Page” and I am sure that every artist there will be able to relate.

Here’s a peek at one of the drawings for a storybook about a little bunny looking for a home and the Japanese legend of the rabbit in the moon. It was created on textured scrapbook paper with coloured pencil and chalk, then I gave the moon some extra glow thanks to Photoshop. What fun!



Even though I am both excited and terrified about L.A., I know that it is the right step to take. I need to know if this can be the next adventure for the Dragon... Whether I make them with chalk or floss, pencil or braid, it is still about making images that touch people. I hope that will never change!

I hope you'll join me as the path winds down a slightly different road than before...

The Dragon Is On Vacation!

After a few frantic e-mails while I was checking things remotely, I thought I’d better post something here quickly so that you know the dragon isn’t dead!

June was an incredibly busy month with a HUGE illustration project, school ending and Mom going in and out of the hospital a few times. Our family has escaped for some MUCH needed R & R and time together. Once we get back, I will update the site and the blog because Dragon Dreams is about to move off into some new adventures.

Don’t worry... Be Happy...Stich and Laugh and Love. The Dragon just needed to hunker down in her cave for a while to figure some things out. Now she’s out playing in the sunshine that she dreamed of all winter long!

Forgotten... Not Forgotten...

It’s Illustration Friday in more ways than one! I was scanning in another batch of pencil sketches for a client to get a jump on Toronto (since I am one hour AHEAD of EST) and have them waiting on the clients e-mail when she gets in this morning. Because of a confidentiality clause in my agreement with them, I can’t post the images in progress. That’s a bit frustrating, but at least I will be able to show the work off when it is all done!

The topic on Illustration Friday today was FORGOTTEN and I just couldn’t resist using one of my favourite designs that I created in cross stitch called NOT FORGOTTEN. This is somewhat bittersweet because today, June 6th, I had planned to be in Columbus setting up at the TNNA show. I had to pull out just over a month ago for health reasons. My back just isn’t up to the travel and lifting involved right now. I’ve even had to learn to get up from drawing to take breaks so that nothing locks. Ask any artist how hard that is when you are just trying to get something to look just right.

Creativity requires that balance with discipline. You cannot just wait until inspiration hits or your hands may not be ready to interpret that vision. I know that in sessions like this where I am drawing for hours and hours each day, my hands respond much better than if I go a day or two without practicing my craft. Being creative is as essential to me as breathing, but I sometimes get caught up in other excitements and forget that drawing was my first love.

Cross stitch became a wonderful way, just over 16 years ago, for me to bring illustrations and ideas to life with thread instead of watercolour or pencil. Then, I would create the patterns to let other stitchers all around the world enjoy stitching up their own versions.

Since many designers had done their own versions of a Noah’s Ark design, I wanted my version to include all of the fantasy creatures I felt should have been on that boat. Chalk it up to an early exposure to Peter, Paul and Mary or the Irish Rovers. Dragons and Unicorns and other magical creatures will always be part of my world, even when I don’t include them in my drawings... but they certainly took over in this one!

Sadly, the patterns themselves have become the easiest part of the stitching experience to steal. Instead of respecting the time and energy that it took to create such a design to share with the world, there are unscrupulous people out there who feel it is their right to scan in a pattern and share it with friends electronically or post it to groups of hundreds of people. We have been shutting down HUNDREDS of groups in the past 3 months alone and it does get a bit frustrating at times. What part of “Thou Shalt Not Steal” is confusing? What makes anyone think that something an artist creates should be “Free” if they see it on the web?

Those of us in art have chosen a risky profession. We share our imagination, our creativity and a little piece of ourselves in every image we create. Just because it looks like something fun and wonderful doesn’t make it any less Work. Just because society isn’t sure how creativity should be valued doesn’t mean we don’t deserve the chance to try to make a living from this without our work being stolen or copied.

Think about how boring our world would be if no one took the risk of being creative. Please think about that before you download, scan, share or use anything without an artist’s permission.

Today’s topic for Illustration Friday was WORRY...



It is so easy to fall into that trap, especially with my Mom back in the hospital. Think of all the time we waste each day worrying about things that may never come to pass.

I dug out this cartoon that I’d posted on my blog a while back. When we worry about looming deadlines, it really can feel like something is lurking just behind us.

Today, that is getting my office back to rights. I’ve been meaning to do a “grand tidy” ever since the book launch happened and yet I always seem to get caught up in a new drawing or business task. Yesterday I took all of the piles from my floor and put them out in the family room. Then I pulled apart my closet where all of the cross stitch models and patterns are stored. If any of the patterns had dents or dings in them, I just ripped them up and threw them out. (I can hear some of you screaming “I’ll take them!” in the background)

The truth is that my accountant has had to write most of that stock off anyway. I can even tell how much of an effect the people sharing things illegally have had on certain designs because I’m just not selling as many of those patterns anymore compared to other ones. I had a nice little venting session as I ripped the leaflets to pieces imagining that it was something precious the thieves needed... like income tax refunds, power bills or winning lottery tickets. Petty and childish of me, but it felt good.

I have learned that when I work in clutter or surround myself with too much clutter, it has a draining effect on my spirit. That’s totally different that spreading out pencils or paper or yarns or threads to get inspired by stuff. It’s the pile of papers that you meant to sort and then can’t find something important when you need it that wears me down.

I can see progress. Thanks to plastic bins and my label maker, my closet is almost done and things are getting away in their proper places.

With each pile I tidy, the dragon looming behind me gets a little smaller.

Once I am done and he is pocket-size, we will go out and play!


Don’t Worry... Be Happy... It’s FRIDAY!

I belong to a group called Illustration Friday that puts forth a topic each week for illustrators to work with. Some create new illustrations and other rummage through their portfolios. Today’s topic was WIDE... and so I went digging for one of my favourite illustrations to submit.

My Nanny LOVED hippos. I blame it on seeing Disney’s Fantasia when it was first released in theaters because real hippos are not nearly as cute. For whatever reason, she fell in love with them and that gave all of us who loved her a chance to hunt for hippo figurines to give her at Christmas. One winter when I was over for a visit, she was watching the neighbours children make snow angels next door. She mused aloud about hippos making snow angels... and that artist supernova went off in my brain. I painted this for her as a gift and when she passed away, it came back to my portfolio.

I now use this photo when I speak to school children about illustrators needing to use their imaginations. You cannot borrow a real hippo from the zoo. Zookeepers won’t let you do that. You cannot convince a warm, mud-loving hippo to roll around in snow. It is cold... VERY cold. So, you have to use your imagination and think of how the illustration would look. How big is a hippo? Is it bigger and heavier than a field mouse or a bunny? You bet! After all this discussion, I show the kids the picture and usually get more laughter from the teachers than the kids. THIS hippo looks proud of her Oooomph!

That’s why I chose it for the topic WIDE.

Now back to working on my drawing for a new client who found me through my web site. The Internet can certainly be both a help and a hindrance as this week has proven in spades!

Not Such A Typical Morning...

It seemed like it was going to be such a simple morning. I’d put the kids on the bus, gone for a brisk walk in the woods near our home with a friend and returned home to check e-mail quickly before starting my day.

It the kind of e-mail that anyone, especially this dragon, hates to open. An e-mail from a concerned fan that had found something suspicious that seemed to be infringing on the copyrights of the patterns I create. She sent me the links to check it out for myself.

No matter how often this has happened in the past 10 years, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach remains the same. To see designs that you took hours of time and energy to create being traded at the click of the mouse make me feel absolutely sick inside. It makes me want to scream and cry.


I used to want to just crawl into my cave and lick my wounds and wonder why anyone would want to hurt me like that. Why couldn’t they understand that sharing a pattern electronically by making a copy of the original is stealing?

Somewhere along the line... the dragon got grumpy. Grumpy Dragons aren’t much fun to be around. They smolder and tend to want to bite people.

I stopped designing monthly samples for my web site even though it was the honest stitchers that ended up being punished.

I started speaking out and setting up blogs on sites like Multiply to have a presence out there in cyberspace and stand up for the fact that this is NOT right and this should NOT be acceptable.

I stopped sending out patterns to shops or guilds that requested them for retreats as often because I had no way of knowing that those wouldn’t end up scanned or being sold on ebay.

I started working with other designers and stitchers to find ways of reporting copyright violations as a group instead of individually so that we could close sites faster than before.

I stopped releasing as many new designs because they kept getting stolen so quickly.

I started to find other sources of income and put my energy into new directions as my income from cross stitch fell to less than 50% and then less than 30% of what it had been just 5 years before.

I stopped being surprised every time I heard that an independent needlework store had to close its doors to stitchers and go out of business.

I started to realize that this problem is much bigger than just the cross stitch industry. I started to understand that if we don’t place any value on creative ideas or intellectual property as a society and remain focussed on getting things as cheaply as possible or downloading them for “free” rather than paying for them, that eventually, our world will be a far richer place to live.

She Tried Her Best...

I survived the trip to Fredericton and back with Erin. She did really well, but not enough to place in the top 3. The girl who placed 3rd in our District 2 competition had one of those glorious days where everything went so well and she poured her heart into the competition, aced the impromptu question and won the entire competition. Erin was happy for her and gracious about the medal and other participation prizes. On the ride home, she admitted to being disappointed that she couldn’t bring a trophy home for her school, but I explained that to make it to the top 15 in the province was still QUITE the accomplishment...

and then I got lost trying to leave Fredericton.

We got home by 6 pm, fed her and have tucked her in for the night. She needs to be at the volleyball tournament for 7:15 am, so I am off to bed shortly behind her. All the driving and then sitting most of the day have made me really, really sore... but she was worth it.

How to I explain to her how proud I am for just trying? Perhaps she’ll understand some day when she watches her own child attempt something. It isn’t always about winning. Sometimes, it is just about the experience life offers you... to take a risk and reach for that star or not attempt because you might not place first.

I am SO proud of her!

Knowing What Needs To Come First...

When the going gets tough... sometimes I just get quiet. I don’t like it when my blog is full of complaining. There’s not enough cheese to go with all that whining!

My pinched nerve has flared up again with a vengeance. It has hurt to sit at the computer for too long, sit and stitch or sit and draw. After almost 3 months of getting better, I feel as if I have taken 2 giant steps back. I am wondering now if I didn’t begin to lift more things and exercise a bit harder or push my drawing and stitching times a bit longer because I was feeling so much better. For whatever reason, I am in pain again.

So... when the TNNA organizers contacted me about low class registration for the 2 classes I’d agreed to teach in Columbus, it brought all my doubts of being able to handle the show to the forefront. Since Wheat was also going through health issues of her own, it made me take a long hard look at what I had to put first. I chose my family and my health. If I don’t take care of my health, then everything else falls apart. I’ll just have to save the designs I’d hoped to unveil until closer to the CreativFestival in the fall!

Family has certainly been at the center of everything lately!

My brother and his family came over from Switzerland for a week during their spring break to visit Mom and John since they had to cancel their April trip to Geneva because of Mom’s health. My girls had 3 days off school for professional days, so it was perfect time to let the cousins just play and spend time together. When family lives that far apart, you have to make the most of each visit.

Nick is getting back to being himself, even though this is a hectic time of year. With less than 35 days before school ends and planning for next year’s teaching assignments, staffing, portables being added over the summer, budgets etc. he’s been spending a lot of time at work or on his laptop at home. It’s nice to have my Tigger back!

Tuesday night both girls performed in their school Cabaret show. Bethany did her part in the play for one last time in front of a packed house of parents and Erin sang a duet with her partner from the music festival. Every other night this week, Erin has been out at volleyball practice because the Eastern Nationals for volleyball begin tomorrow. Opening ceremonies are tonight and then we see if she has an early game tomorrow morning. It her team is down for an 8 am game then she can probably play once before we drive to Fredericton for the Provincial Middle School Oratory competition!

Erin has to represent our school district, after placing first here, for the Middle School provincial competition held at St. Thomas University. I’ve never driven to Fredericton on my own before, so it will be a bit scary. I am used to being the knitting passenger, the snack organizer and iPod tune-changer. Erin’s volleyball team will miss her for their first games, but she’ll be playing all day Saturday and any late Friday games that are scheduled. She’s really learned how to use her height to block things and her team affectionately calls her “The Wall”! I was so upset with both things ended up being on the same weekend (Nick is also serving at our church pancake breakfast all Saturday morning). Erin’s teachers felt that since she WON the District competition, she needed to be in Fredericton instead of one of the alternates. Luckily, Erin’s volleyball coach agreed with the plan.

Now if I can just keep from getting lost when we drive down tomorrow, I’ll be fine. I’ve already warned Erin that we’ll take stretch breaks whenever I need them!

HAPPY DRAGON’S DAY!!!

Ok... it is actually St. George’s Day, but my family decided that it should be Dragon’s Day instead! Why does the dragon always have to be the one to get picked on? We also felt like we had a lot to celebrate, even if Nick was battling a bad cold.

Last week, Bethany did a marvelous job as the tall Egret in “Once Upon A Lily Pad” for the District 2 Drama Festival.




Monday night, Erin won the District 2 Oratory Competition and I finally got a picture of her with the medal downloaded.




Bethany also visited the local SPCA to take in all of the animal food, kitty litter, toys and cash that she received instead of birthday presents at her party. They made up a nice certificate to present to her to thank her for her generosity and is already thinking about what charity to help out next year!



So... back to Dragon’s Day. Bethany and I decorated the dining room with some of our stuffed dragons.



My mom got REALLY inventive for this meal and moulded the meat loaf into tiny dragon shapes before she cooked them! Of course this meant that when we put them on our plates, we just had to add some ketchup and mustard flames.... right?



My stepfather, John, got even more creative... his dragon is also pooping out HP sauce!
(Glad that wasn’t on MY plate! Eeeeeewwww!)



The only hard moment was after grace when Bethany picked up her knife and fork only to realize that she had to cut the cute little dragon meat loaf to eat her dinner!



Oh well... maybe a few dragons did fall to the sword on St. George’s Day... but they were delicious!

What Makes You COOL....

It was a beautiful day here in Moncton with temperatures finally getting up to 19 degrees (that’s into the 60s!) which felt WONDERFUL after this long winter.

I was standing at the bus stop this morning to get my kids on the bus and discovered that I have gone WAY up in the estimation of two of the kindergarten boys that get on at the same bus stop as Erin & Bethany. Apparently, the dinosaurs that I drew at Queen Elizabeth yesterday REALLY impressed them. Draw a few fangs and sharp claws and suddenly, I am right up there with Batman. Ok... maybe not quite that high, but it was fun to discover the priorities of a 5 year old male.

Another mother came over to tell me that her daughter had been very impressed with the Illustrator that came to the school yesterday, but the mother hadn’t put two and two together until she overheard my conversation with the two boys. “I thought you did that stitchy thingy?” she said sounding a bit puzzled. I hid my grin.

Nick called a few minutes ago to let me know that the photo of me is on the District 2 web site. Pretty cool... even if I can shoot webs from my hands!

When Worlds Collide...

I am finally surfacing to take a breath! This was supposed to be three separate blog entries, but even getting my computer turned on in the past 5 days has been a rarity, so with three different titles and subsections, here’s a glimpse into the chaos of my life:

The Joy of Learning Something New...

Thanks to a wonderful friend named Barb, I am totally addicted to a new pastime. I am trying to learn how to knit a sock. Sock experts will laugh, but I am still in the feverish thrill of learning a new skill.

First, Barb sends me a box of lovely yarn and needles to tempt me. She figured that after the “excitement” of the past month, I deserve a little pampering and torture all rolled into one exquisite experience. Bless you, Barb, I haven’t had this much fun since I learned to cross stitch!



Of course the first time I cast on my stitches and started to knit, I started going backwards somehow and inside out, but my mother quickly set me straight. She couldn’t help with the knitting part since she and I have TOTALLY different tensions. I am a VERY tight stitcher. I always have to go up at least a size or two in needles to keep from creating things in miniature.



Learning how to hold this little porcupine handful of 5 needles was also a bit of a challenge. Nick found it so hilarious that he took my picture. I hate being photographed in my jammies, so I’ve cropped the heck out of the picture, but .... honest... I AM having fun.



My knitting, when learning something new (ie. anything other than fluffy scarves) is just a tiny bit faster than my stitching. Think of a turtle racing towards you blindfolded through molasses.... I am a little bit faster than that.



But I am having a BLAST! I finally finished the little bit of ribbing and moved on to the stockinette stitch. Here’s my sock so far. Laugh and the dragon will bite you!

The Launch of A Book...

When the author and I first decided to hold the book launch at the Magnetic Hill Zoo, we picked the second week of April because the Zoo was opened on weekends and we thought we might pick up a lot of people passing by as well as the people we bribed (ok... more like begged, pleaded and blackmailed) to show up for the book launch.

By the middle of last week, the temperatures were soaring into double digits and Maritimers were almost giddy as the snow melted around us. I saw neighbours out walking that I haven’t spoken to in almost 5 months. It was a LONG winter with drifts higher than Nick and I in many places. Wonderful, we thought. All the animals will be out and people will want to spend a warm spring day up at the zoo.

It snowed Saturday. Not just a few fluffy white flakes. Almost an INCH of the icky white stuff fluffed its way out of the sky and onto the city. The zoo animals were smart. They hid inside. We were inside too, but as the snow grew heavier around noon, Paul and I began to worry about the really important things.... Who was going to eat all the cake?



Luckily, we have a lot of terrific friends and a supportive community. People braved the slippery roads to come up to the book launch.



They brought me flowers, chatted, designed their own dinosaurs and got us to sign books.



Sue even made little blue dinosaurs for each of us. What talent!




I even ended up on the evening news for a quick 30 second promo spot!! Since absolutely NO ONE came to the zoo itself, they were VERY glad that we gave them a dollar from every book sold for the Year of the Frog. The leftover cake went to church with me the next day...




What Else Needs To Be Done...

Now amid all the excitement of the book launch, radio & newspaper interviews, my daughters decided that a little extra pressure might make my life more interesting. Erin had a group project to work on that required friends being over at our house painting a model, writing a speech in French and I also had to listen to her practice her Persuasive Speech on a given topic for a contest at school.

Bethany has been practicing for her role as the lead Egret in “Once Upon A Lily Pad”, a sweet musical that the grade 3-4s were putting on this week at the Drama Festival. Like an idiot, I had filled out the form months ago saying that I would help with costumes. Guess when they needed to be made? Yup, I spent most of Friday and Sunday nights on the living room floor with white garbage bags for egret wings, making turtle shells out of green garbage bags, wire, newspaper and green fabric or painting shadows onto flower petals for costumes. Am I just totally insane or stuck with that super mom complex? (I am somewhat reluctant to admit that I was totally pleased with the results... if somewhat stiff from crouching on hardwood.)

Monday was spent delivering costumes to school, books to local bookstores and shops then frantically stitching on the ornament for Just Cross Stitch magazine. I’d written down the wrong date for the deadline and that has really messed everything up. Remember what a slow stitcher I am? At least I am totally pigheaded about honouring commitments and doing without sleep if necessary.

Tuesday is my double meeting day for Weight Watchers and it was a great topic this week to do as a leader, but that meant stitching into the night a bit more than my hands were happy with.

This morning I went to Queen Elizabeth School as the visiting illustrator. When I’d blocked off the date 2 months ago on the calendar, it had been wide open!! Today was also the Drama Festival, so I raced over after I spoke to the 3 grade levels and managed to watch Bethany as the lead Egret. What a wonder to watch your children find a passion and run with it! If the photos I took this afternoon turn out, I'll post them.

Now I am frantically blogging before I head back upstairs to stitch. My fingers itch to knit a bit, but I am using that as a reward for getting the ornament finished. Bait is good. Sleep is optional. I am a crafter!!!

Finally... A Regular Saturday!

Sometimes you don’t know how badly you need things to be normal again until they happen.

For the first time in over a month, we had a regular Saturday morning. There were no swim lessons, no volleyball tournaments, no one was injured, away or undergoing surgery...

The girls and I are all on antibiotics for awful sinus and throat infections, but they have started to kick in and we don’t feel nearly as miserable as we did 48 hours ago.

We did a few errands after a pancake breakfast at one of the local churches with Mom & John. She’s up and about now, though still getting used to the new medication that goes along with the pacemaker. When she gets frustrated about her slow progress, I point out that it has only been a week since the surgery and how glad we are that everything turned out all right.

Nick and I even had a nap this afternoon while the girls enjoyed a massive Barbie game in the basement.

I’m blogging quickly tonight because our city and our family plan to observe EARTH HOUR tonight and spend an hour with NO electricity on at all. Having watched The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising movie last night, I plan to introduce my girls to the book by Susan Cooper which is MUCH more detailed than the movie. That should be the perfect tale to read by candlelight!

Saying Goodbye to Nanny Kay...

It’s sad when an author dies before all of their stories get told.

When Madeleine L’Engle, Marion Zimmer Bradley and Andre Norton each passed away, I felt a keening sense of regret that there would never be a “new” story to look forward to. Having reread most of my Andre Norton collection early this year , I know that I can still treasure the works that they shared with the world over and over and over... but it’s still not quite the same.

I found out in January that Nanny Kay had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. After my own health fears all fall, I could imagine the disbelief she was feeling. Sadly, the cancer won the battle on Monday night.

Yesterday, I went to the funeral home to say goodbye to the woman who helped set my feet on their current path and to tell her family how much she meant to me. It was very hard.
On the kneeler before the coffin were the two books that she had written, the second of which I had the privilege of illustrating.

I met Nanny Kay at “STORYFEST 2006”, an enrichment event put on by our local school district. I’d been called in at the last minute to help chaperone the group of students from Queen Elizabeth (including Erin) because I had a “flexible” work schedule. I almost refused to go. I dreaded being around authors and illustrators who had actually gone out to do what I had only dreamed of doing since I was 11 years old. I was using my art, I’d built an international reputation as a cross stitch designer over 13 years, I worked from home to be there for my kids, but I’d never gotten around to that which I wanted most... to illustrate children’s books.

During the course of the day, one of the presenters mentioned that author Kay Doucette, known as Nanny Kay, was having trouble finding someone to illustrate her second children’s book. I met up with her, introduced myself and gave her my business card. Within a few days of looking through my portfolio and some rough pencil sketches that I drew up, she’d hired me to draw the illustrations for Just Nanny and Me & Fun Things To Paint. For 10 weeks through a hot summer of trying not to sweat on my artwork, I drew at our dining room table and we put the book together for its release in September of 2006. The following spring at “STORYFEST 2007”, I was there as guest presenter doing an illustration workshop.

Had it not been for Nanny Kay hiring me and encouraging me, I might never have actually chased the dream of illustrating children’s books. It would have been so easy to avoid trying what I wanted most ... in order to not fail at something that would hurt deeply if I didn’t succeed. I might never have learned all the technical things that made putting together Owen & The Dinosaur so much easier.

Sometimes, there are special people who come into our lives for a reason. We may not understand it fully, or appreciate it as much as we should, but we certainly feel the loss when they leave. Goodbye Nanny Kay.

From Darkness To JOY!

I have my husband home...

HALLELUJAH!

My mom has a pacemaker and is out of ICU...

HALLELUJAH!

Erin and her team won the gold medal in their volleyball tournament yesterday...

YAY! YIPPEE! YAHOO!

The Easter Bunny brought some chocolate...

YUM!!!

I get to go to bed with my husband instead of the stuffed animals...

THANK GOODNESS! THANK GOD!

Light and Warmth In the Darkness...

It is the darkest day of the year for my faith, this Good Friday. A day when light and warmth can seem very far away if you let them.

Yesterday was ice rain, rain and slick roads for most of the day. This morning is sideways snow and spring seems hopelessly far away.

Yesterday morning, my mother had to go to the hospital with an irregular heartbeat and it has turned out to be a bit more serious than we hoped. She will be in ICU for the Easter weekend.


It would be so easy to give in to despair...

It would be easy to get into the Easter candy early...

Life is seldom easy!

I can remember looking at grown ups as a child. I thought they were so lucky to be able to stay up as late as they wanted, earn their own money to buy things and pick what gets cooked for dinner.

As an adult, I know that many of us don’t get enough sleep, have bills to pay and grab something to eat on the go which may not be the best for our health.

Life is not about how easy your path is, but how you travel it.

Do you look around you at the scenery and appreciate the beauty that you find around you or are you always looking for a shortcut or envying other roads?

Do you take time to speak to people along the way, stop and give directions, point out neat spots to others, share part of your sandwich with someone who is hungry, play 20 questions and listen to the radio at full blast when a great song comes on... or are you racing to your destination with a speed and intensity that lets nothing distract you?

The dark times remind us to treasure all that is precious... to rely on the hugs of friends... to say “I love you” more often... to count the many blessings that we do have... and to remember that after the darkness comes the brilliance of the dawn.

Things I Am Learning with Nick Away...

Being a single parent in the midst of report card season, pre-Easter activities and upcoming school holidays has taught me a lot this week. I need to make myself smile tonight, so here’s what I’ve learned while Nick is up in the Yukon helping organize his father’s funeral.

1) My kids will eat almost anything for supper if I convince them it is something new and unusual that Dad might not let them do if he were here.

2) I can let off steam to unsuspecting telemarketers who call during supper hour.

3) All 6 of my stuffed animals on Nick’s side of the bed along with the pillow bolster do NOT compensate for his body weight. I am waking up in the middle of the bed doing a dead man’s float and snoring... how attractive!

4) It feels strange not to have anything of his in the laundry pile.

5) I’ve gone back to wishing I could stuff myself through a phone line so that I can hug him in person... just like I did when we were dating long-distance.

6) I’m starting to talk to the hamster again for adult conversation.

7) I am more ruthless with the paper clutter on the counters. Shredding things into pieces or scrumpling them into wads is good therapy and keeps me from biting my fingernails or getting into the chocolate.

8) If I must get into some chocolate, baking chocolate chip cookies with my girls can be justified as a math lesson, a chance to learn a necessary life skill, a bonding experience and much more. Making sure that at least half of the cookies go out the door to an event also keeps me from eating the rest when they are at school!

9) There really is nothing good on TV late at night!

10) If I read until very late at night, and get really, really tired, I don’t jump at ever creak and groan the house makes in the middle of the night. The only problem is that the next morning, all the creaks and groans come from me!

Goodbyes Are NEVER Easy...

How quickly life can change in a heartbeat...

A few hours after I blogged last night, Nick got word that his father had taken a turn for the worse and was slipping away, so instead of going to bed, we headed downstairs to the computer, booked a flight for him, packed, made some calls and got him out on the 6 am flight this morning for a 17 hour trip from Moncton, New Brunswick to Whitehorse, Yukon.

If there were a longer route to get from point A to point B in our country, I’d be surprised. Nick went Moncton to Toronto, Toronto to Vancouver on the other coast of our country and then Vancouver up north to Whitehorse. Find them on a map and you’ll see just how far he had to race to get to his Dad’s side.

Sadly, he didn’t make it in time.

As I write this, Nick is somewhere in the air between Vancouver and Whitehorse. He woke with a start from a power snooze on the second leg of the flight somehow knowing that it was too late. He called me from Vancouver once he landed to touch base and I had to let him know that he was right.

Luckily, Nick was able to speak to his father late last night before he left and tell him that he loved him and that he was on his way. There are many who don’t get that chance to say goodbye in time.

My girls have cried themselves out as you do with that first huge loss of someone you love in your life. I have spent the day trying to be strong for them, holding down the fort and just aching for Nick and the loss he is facing... but he is where he needs to be right now. He will be able to help his stepmother through the next few difficult days once he arrives tonight.



Luckily, both my girls were able to have fond memories of Ken and Colleen’s visit here for Thanksgiving in 2006 when his health was already starting to fail. Did it hurt more because they got to know him despite the distance or will the memories comfort them? Despite the pain that they are feeling now, I know that they will carry the good forward with them. How can it be a bad thing to know that you were loved?



I worry that Nick’s shoulders, who are always so strong for others, are still recovering. I hope that somehow he can find moments to rest amid this new round of chaos and that from this sadness, some healing will come as he pays his final respects to his Dad.

I called mine tonight to remind him of how much I love him.

Luckily, Ken is no longer in pain.

Never forget to say those “I love yous” as often as possible. We don’t always get to plan when we have to say goodbye.

Goodbye Ken.

Back From March Break!

We’ve been home a week from a fabulous (if somewhat slower paced) trip to London, England for Spring Break. Now that the snowstorms, jet lag, time change and laundry are done, I can finally get caught up on e-mail, blogging and other fun news!



The proofs for Owen & The Dinosaur looked great. The author and I poured over them and signed off on everything (with a few corrections or spots to watch out for) and so now I just have to sit back and let them print the copies! We’ve set the date of the book launch here in Moncton for April 12th at the Magnetic Hill Zoo from 1 to 3 pm. Like many zoos around the world, they are celebrating 2008 as the year of the frog to bring attention to water quality and other threats to habitats. Since dinosaurs did end up extinct and frogs are about as close as we could come since none of our museums in the city have much in the way of fossils, we decided this was the closest fit. One dollar from every book sold during the launch will be donated to this cause at the zoo!

I managed to get the website updated today as well to include the calorie-free Easter treat that I’d been promising. I had such fun doodling little dragonlets with bunny ears that I even have next year’s planned already. Actually, next year’s may involve a contest as well and I will post the chart earlier. If you wander over to our web site’s newsletter right now, you’ll be able to get your claws on the 2008 Easter Dragonlet and stitch it up before next weekend. I know you... you stitchers are FAST... MUCH faster than this dragon!

Tomorrow is the last session of swimming lessons for the girls which is good because Erin’s volleyball is switching into high gear. I think we have tournaments almost every other weekend until the Nationals/Easterns are held here in May. I foresee a lot of stitching and knitting on the sidelines!

It’s DONE!!!

If I had more energy, I would skip around the house in a mad dragon dance of glee... but I have discovered that I just can’t do without sleep as often as I used to in my 20s!

Instead, I am sitting with a warm mug of tea in my claws and purring happily to myself. Ok, maybe dragons rumble with contentment instead of purring... but you get the idea.

All the files for Owen & the Dinosaur have made it safely to the printer’s. They will take care of getting the colour proofs ready while I take some time off and enjoy Spring Break with my family. Yesterday’s snowstorm made it feel anything BUT spring like, however the day off school meant that Nick could get a bit more rest. His balance is still going wonky at the darndest times. He’s been back at school this week but trying to take it a bit easy (as much as a Principal can when they are in the building ) but he’s VERY tired when he gets home at night!

I’ve been working on the website updates for March and they should be posted before lunch time tomorrow, including the announcement of the winners from our name the dragons contest and information about the Easter present for stitchers this month... a tiny dragonlet with bunny ears and a basket. It will go up on the site on March 16th so that all you speedy stitchers can get some done in time for the next weekend. Another great treat with no calories!

If I am quiet here for a week or so, know that I am fine. I am resting, recharging and spending some MUCH needed time with my family! Yawn..... This dragon is WAY to tired to stay up and watch Survivor tonight!